Black Leotards and Tights

They say the best time to start Ballet is very young. Then again, they say that about mostly any kind of art. For some reason, the only kind of art people don't get shocked when you tell them you have started as an adult is painting! There's something about painting that makes it accessible for people of all ages. On the other hand, dancing is not one of them.

I used to think like that. I have always loved dancing and from a very young age dreamed of becoming a dancer myself. However, at that young age, I was forced to go through one of the hardest "moves" of my life---we moved to the U.S. from Iran when I was only 10 years old. When you go through something as difficult as immigration at such a young age, you become paralyzed from speech for a while. In fact, I, like many other children, went through a long 6-10 month "silent period" and could not speak! In the midst of all this acculturation, I forgot all about my passions and just focused on trying to find friends in a school where I couldn't speak the same language as everyone else! (I was in 5th grade back then.)

I did try Gymnastics when I was 7. I mostly tried it because my dad loved it and since it was too late for him, he decided to let me have a go at it. Turned out, I loved it. I felt like I wasn't very good at it, because most of the moves just didn't come naturally to me (which makes sense because there's nothing in Gymnastics that is "natural") but I loved it. However, even those classes didn't last long because I remember I only attended it for 2 or 3 terms. My mother was a firm believer that school is the most important thing so I only attended Gymnastics during the summer and concentrated on my school studies during the year...no wonder I wasn't so "good" in those moves in Gymnastics. In any case, three years later, we moved to the U.S. and everything else ensued.

I didn't have a particularly difficult life growing up, except that I was a particularly rebellious daughter and wasn't a very good "rule-follower"; in fact, I rebelled against these rules every opportunity I got, especially as a teenager! This is what made things difficult both for myself and my parents. Now you have to understand, my parents were very conservative and thought to raise their kids that way and I was a dreamer growing up in New York, and a bit boy-crazed.

In any case, years later, as an adult, when I came to and remembered my love for dancing, I realized I missed it. I missed my opportunity to take ballet when I was very young and now I can never do it again. However, I was drawn to it regardless. Any opportunity I got to take a ballet session here or there, I went for it, even if it were classes that resembled ballet or dancing in any way. In fact, as of last year, I started taking a form of dance classes that I believe it even surpasses my love for Ballet, it's called "Divine Dance" which is a combination of Ballet, Flamenco, and Persian. For the past year, I have taken this form of dance and though I still feel very awkward doing most of the moves, but it's like I haven't ever felt so alive! However, that was September 2015 until June 2016 and now I am not living in Berkeley anymore where my favorite teacher resides.

Skip to today: as a 28-year old, married woman I am living in Los Angeles with my husband (with my parents far away in New York, for some reason that seems like an important fact) and I have my life in my own hands. I am not particularly so rich as to take on a private ballet instructor and practice the art 10 hours a day. In fact, though I love dancing still, it is not my only passion in life. So, once again, an opportunity has presented itself and I have taken it. It is a Ballet 1 class at a local community college, and I am going for it!

We had our first session yesterday, and I can already tell that it is going to be something I will really come to love. Our instructor is a retired professional dancer with an energy that most teachers don't even try to engage. She has instructed us to buy a "uniform" and wear it to class everyday: black leotards, black tight dance shorts, and black, beige, or pink ballet shoes. If I die later on this year, I will be glad I took this class as an experience on this earth!

Importance of Education

I have always wondered what it means to continue being educated throughout your life and never stop. I mean sure, it can mean just reading all your life and learning new things every day. That is something I can definitely relate with! But then, according to most success mentors, one must spend about 10% of his income on education or professional development! If that’s the case, then it could either mean the cost of the books, which is silly because no matter how expensive books are, it can’t be 10% of your income—unless you are making very little and reading A LOT!

In the past 5 months or so, I have had the pleasure to get acquainted with one form of “professional development” through the online course of Darren Hardy’s Insane Productivity. I also had the pleasure to join him at a seminar where he briefly discussed the entire program and more. He’s truly something. His talk along with the modules he has created and the worksheets, I feel that since 5 months ago, I’m a whole other person. It’s as he said it himself in the seminar, I’m completely unrecognizable to myself!

In addition, I have only recently taken a Business course at a Community College, which I’ve come to know, is another way of spending 10% of your income on professional development. Learning a new subject through the medium of classes with a physical professor and learning environment is definitely very different from self-studying.

In the end, the importance of education speaks for itself. Throughout your life, you may be forced to get educated for 12-13 years of your life (kintergarden to high school) and then feel the desire to do it because of society’s rules and its norm by attending college for however long your major would require it but then stop. After a certain stage, society no longer forces you to continue your education, but one must proactively continue his education and go against society if needed to do so! Thus, it is the combination of self-studying, attending “college” classes, and taking real or virtual courses or seminars that will put you on the top, if that is where you want to be.

Call of Love

I would like to begin this week with a sonnet I composed last night, inspired by an art piece I crafted, dedicated to the One and Only:

"Call of Love"

He is present everywhere in sight

Look closely, you’ll see His blessings

There, everything that’s right

Feel His love, hear His call

Melody of His voice fills our hearts

Dance to the rhythm of His note

Take, take His hand and see His Art

Let your soul wake up by His music

Raise your hands in prayer

For He has given you this moment

Close your eyes and feel his love, there

Let the Ney spread your wings free

The Secret

"The Secret" a book written by Ronda Byrnes, originally published in 2006 has changed many people's lives since then. In the past 10 years that it has been published, a documentary has also been made of the same name where people swear by its philosophy and believe that all their success in life is because of it.

The idea is, whatever you think, you attract. If you desire happiness, all you have to do is think about it and be able to fully envision it in your mind and believe yourself ALREADY in possession of it and sure enough, before long, you will achieve it. Now, The Secret goes beyond this point and says to be thankful for already having achieved it before even achieving it so that before long, you achieve it. I've already read this book a while back and though I am skeptical of it being true 100% since my belief is a bit different as to how the universe works. In my opinion, the universe or God cares too much about its people to give them WHATEVER they ask for or whatever they "desire",  because let's face it: a lot of the times, we are not even sure what we want or we don't know what's best for us. So we desire something knowing in the back of our minds or ignorant of it, that this may not be the thing that is supposed to lead us to that ultimate peace and happiness, but we desire it anyway. Now in my philosophy, in that stage of praying for it, desiring it, or believing yourself already in possession of it, I usually add, (to God) I want this IF you think it's right for me. IF not, then please do everything in your power for me to not achieve it. And I do truly have faith in this way of thinking.

Similarly, the pioneer of Success Mentorship is Napoleon Hill. He wrote "Think and Grow Rich" back in 1937, that's over 70 years before The Success was published. In this book, Napoleon underlines the importance of the power of the mind and its psychological effect. Instead of kidding himself with making it absolute that as long as you desire it and see it, you got it, he gives a detailed plan to follow in order to become rich:

Step 1: Fix in your mind the EXACT amount of money you desire.
Step 2: Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire.
Step 3: Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
Step 4: Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin AT ONCE, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.
Step 5: Write out a clear, concise statement to acquire, name the time limit for its acquisition, state what you intend to give in return for the money and describe clearly the plan through which you intend to accumulate it.
Step 6: Read your written statement aloud, twice daily, once right before bed and once right after you wake up. AS YOU READ--SEE AND FEEL AND BELIEVE YOURSELF ALREADY IN POSSESSION OF THE MONEY.

At the first glance, it may seem that it is very similar to the idea behind The Secret, which makes you believe that Ronda Byrnes has some explaining to do. On the other hand, if looked closely, you will see that not only does she have some explaining to do, but she has a lot of explaining to do! Because in my opinion, not only has she taken this idea straight from Napoleon but she has taken out many key components of it. Napoleon explains in his book that this "secret" is something that many have used in order to acquire any goal in their lives, including Thomas Edison, Andrew Carnegie, Abraham Lincoln, and many other great men.

Napoleon points out the possible psychological effect that it has when you are able to envision something in your mind and reading it "aloud" twice a day every day until you fully believe it, and then you achieve it. However, it is not that you achieve it solely because you are envisioning it and believe it. No, you are creating a PLAN as step 4 entails and follows by establishing that you must start AT ONCE whether you are ready or not. Thus, you are not merely envisioning it but you are using man power to achieve it. The psychological effect of prompting yourself that you will achieve this goal is great and set to keep you motivated but it is the PLAN that eventually surfaces that goal for you.

I guess each person may choose to follow his or her own belief. Whichever "secret" that entices them more, people will follow and surely, they will achieve something or perhaps they will only be led into more disappointment in their lives. On the other hand, as mentioned, I do have my own pact with God and the way I achieve my goals. I do want to try out Napoleon's way of achieving my goals this time around but I will only tweak it in the way that it fits my own philosophy. In the end of the day, it is our philosophies that govern our lives.

Circle of Friends

Who is your five?

According to studies, the average person spends his or her most time with five people and those five people determine everything about that person. They determine the way that person thinks, talks, philosophizes, acts, his or her behaviors, habits, dreams, goals, and etc. It’s no wonder there’s a saying that states: “if you want to get to know a person, find out who his or her friends are!”

I’ve had the pleasure to get to know someone very sweet and kind since I moved to Los Angeles and I feel blessed to be able to call her my friend. However, recently, I’ve also had the “pleasure” to get to know her friends. At first, I kept trying not to judge and of course after a few hours and a few different settings, I made my conclusion. Here is a group of people who seemingly never left high school! Just as one would in high school play the part of “mean girls” or even “cool girls” and sit down for hours to drink, smoke, and GOSSIP! At one point, they brought down another person so much that I felt like, what’s the difference between you guys and that person? You are saying this person is so cheap and superficial and a...cougar basically. And yet, other than perhaps the cougar part, you are not acting that differently!

In any case, I kept thinking, this friend of mine can’t be like these people. Yet, when I observed her, I realized she was laughing along, gossiping along, and seemingly at the same level as the rest of them. Not only that, but I realized, this is now officially my second outing with these people and already, I feel like I know them more and can relate with them more. Sure, this may help with feeling less lonely when in a place where you don’t know anyone because you are so damn new. However, this can’t be it. I realized last night just how much I would rather have stayed home and watched my own sitcoms rather than be in this atmosphere. Now, I don’t have anything against people who smoke or drink or anything, but there is one thing I can’t handle, one thing that crosses the line for me, and that is, gossiping and putting someone down in this way, especially in his or her absence. I mean, not only were they gossiping or whatnot, that’s all they did. The entire night, this was their conversation topic. Maybe not that one particular person but all they “discussed” throughout the night were “people”!

I’m making a life here with my husband from scratch, from 0 (though sometimes we joke that we are really starting with negative because of all the credit card debts). I’m making a life and I’m shaping it; I can no longer blame my past and my youth for having the friends I do or going to the same places always. I am the master of my own life and I choose who my five are.

I would like to end this post with a (very related) quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." 

They All Say The Same Thing

Ever since I purchased the Insane Productivity online course by Darren Hardy, I have been crazed about success mentorship. I purchased this course at a very good time in my life. I didn't have a job, I had just arrived back here from Iran, and I was still trying to figure out what to do with my life. For the past 4 or so years, my life or shall I say, my career has been put on hold due to my constant travels to Iran and back. I learned a lot from these experiences and I am thankful for being blessed with it. However, it has taken a toll on me.

I have been motivated to do something for quite some time and it seems that instead of being able to use all this fuel to do something BIG, my small disciplines seem to waver. According to Jim Rohn, success is the practice of small disciplines in a consistent manner. Or in other words: grinding it out! I have talked all about how once I do have my own apartment with my own personal schedule, I will do this or that and now, it seems that as always, it is much easier to talk the talk but not so much to walk the walk! I think I know what the biggest problem is in fact--I want to suddenly go from this person who would work out only once or twice a week and spent maybe 2-4 hours of productive time per week to this person who is productive 5 hours a day, works out 4 to 5 days a week, reads everyday, listens to inspirational audio everyday, finds an amazing job right away, and is wealthy within a few months! 

The truth is, they all the say the same thing. You cannot expect to have these kinds of results and work towards these results and expect the results to come really fast. In my case, I feel that my body has rebelled against me and is making me take up habits that are worse than what I used to have. I eat so much until I can't move, I eat sweets everyday whenever I have the craving, it is so hard to get me to be motivated to work out even once or twice a week! And so many other bad habits that I am not quite sure how they creeped in to my lifestyle! Every day, it seems like a battle. Trying to enforce these "good habits" into my life like writing on my blog and publishing early in the morning and now I'm trying to add reading for 30 minutes before bed and then suddenly seeing all these bad habits creep in that weren't even there before that may not have anything to do with the writing or editing but they are still harmful to my productive and successful future. 

In my case, I need to not expect results right away. I remember a line in the book "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert that said, "if you do anything [whatever your craft may be] every day for a period of 5 years, you will become an expert at it." 5 years is a long period of time, but it is the very truth. I have to make this pact with my self to try to apply these small "good" habits and disciplines into my life for at least the 4 years that I have taken a break from my career and surely, something will come out of it. Maybe I won't even be as successful as I plan to be. Maybe I will fail miserably. However, it is as Tony Robbins and Jim Rohn point out, "it is not the goal that you achieve that makes the difference, it is who you become in the process." Thus, if there is no great outcome of my actions in the next 4 years, I would like to dedicate my time to becoming that person. 

Who Is the President of Your LIFE?

It’s the election season and everybody is talking about the candidates! For me, both current candidates are not great choices. Personally, I was a Bernie fan and was quite disappointed when he lost.

But I don’t want to talk about those presidential candidates. No, I want to discuss the president of my life. This relates to a Darren Daily I listened to yesterday. It was a very creative way to look at evaluation of self in the shape of presidential debates during the voting season!

In the video, he stated, just as you would criticize and analyze a candidate such as Hilary Clinton or Donald Trump when trying to figure out which one is a better one, you should do the same with your own life and track record.

Here are some interesting questions that he asks:

1. What has been your performance track record over the past few years? You made promises back then—to your family, your employees, yourself, and your God. Did you deliver?

2. What would the pundits say about your performance? What would the critics point out as your shortcomings?

3. In a debate, what examples would someone use against you? Have you been hypocritical to what you say you stand for, when you flip flopped on your values, when your policies and plans failed and you didn’t follow through on your campaign promises?

What a monumental way to truly evaluate your own life and “track record”. He’s right; it is so easy to criticize the current political candidates. Oh this person said he doesn’t support gay marriage before and now he has changed his mind. Oh this person said she wouldn’t go to war, now she wants to go to war. And so on and so forth.

Indeed, it is easy to judge and to point by point criticize someone else. But when it comes to yourself, can you be as critical?

Keeping A Journal

Ever since I was about 11 years old, I kept a journal. I am not certifying that all these years, I have been carefully writing in journals and recording everything I see, hear, or feel. No. The point of this statement was just that, I started writing pretty young. One thing I can attest to is that my writing has definitely improved. Whenever I go back and read my journal from when I was in high school or even when I was in college, I am awed and surprised by how much my view in this world has changed, and particularly, how much my writing has improved. In a way, this blog is meant to be my journal nowadays. In this way, I am glad that I have made a pact to write in it everyday as I did with my first journal.

Additionally, I was listening to an old audio program by Jim Rohn, who talked about keeping a journal. Jim Rohn, an American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker, talks about success and how one of the first steps towards personal development and success is being a "collector of good ideas". Where do you keep these good ideas? In a journal! He starts by describing how his own mentor told him to "never trust his memory". If a good idea comes along, whether this is business-related or not, write it down. And you can't just borrow napkin pieces in the restaurant or fold up old bills here and there to write these "good ideas" because how are you going to find them later on? No, you must keep a journal of good ideas.

Then, Jim Rohn went on to explain that journals can also be a place to write about your observations about the world, what did you see? What did you hear? And how did all that make you feel? Rohn explains that by doing so, as humans, we will be able to stay connected to our inner souls and be able to make sense of the world. Consequently, this will benefit us immensely because it will also improve our communication skills. In order to communicate with people, not just people that are in the same educational level as us or in the same age, but also people who are from different walks of life. No matter where a person may be from, he or she must have experienced a broken heart, a betrayal, a joy, etc. In conclusion, if we become experts in validating our own observations of this world, we will be able to validate others in their journeys; this is the key to excellent communication.

In my case, I keep a few journals. I have this particular digital journal where I record my thoughts, my life events, and my observations about other things I see, listen to or read. (In a way, I am using this tool to practice my writing but in doing so I am also fulfilling the personal journey part of Jim Rohn's philosophy). In addition, I keep a small journal that I (try) to carry with me everywhere so I can record "ideas" from different sources. I may take notes at a lecture I attend or jot down a quote I read somewhere or hear. And now very recently, I have a new journal that is hard cover and bigger than my tiny one, and I re-write the notes I wrote in my little journal. In this way, I don't have to carry around this much bigger journal with me because let's face it, most of the times, I can't even fit it into my hand bag. In addition, though, I am able to genuinely review my notes and make sense of them before I "transfer" them over to my bigger, nicer, and more complete journal. I learned this technique from another mentor of mine and I think though a bit tedious, it is definitely a winner!

As Jim Rohn stated, "throughout your life, you may experiment with different journals, journals of all sizes and colors, journals with lines and journals with no lines, journals that are small and journals that are big, journals that are expensive and journals that are not."

Reading about Religion

I was having a conversation with my husband last night about "reading about religion." When it comes to the majority "religion", one may think of the Bible (or New Testament) as a means to read about Christianity and its ways. When it comes to Judaism, one thinks of the Torah (or Old Testament) and when it comes to Islam, one thinks of the Quran. But is that all enough?

Is it enough to just read the three holy books or one of these holy books and learn all there is to know about religion? In my opinion, it is definitely not enough to just read the holy books. Just as one has to put a dictionary next to him/her in order to read a very difficult text or one in a different language, it is the same with these holy books. Now I know that due to media or it being the "majority rule", the Bible has been translated into the most easy text in English and all other languages. In addition, it has been expressed and translated into television shows, movies, politics, and other parts of society. In my opinion, though, the actual book itself will provide the truth but to be able to understand it, we need other outlets to help us understand the book!

What I mean by "outlet" is not watching movies or shows but actually reading other books. These may not be other religious texts but books that have been written about these texts. Perhaps one may think that it is inappropriate to do so since other books are written by "average" people's analysis and interpretation of these holy books. Perhaps this is true. However, this is why it is essential to read books from different kinds of authors and not just settle in on one. In today's age and time, the Internet is accessible to all and in it, one can find the latest porno and also the latest translation of the holy books along with articles, talks, documentaries, e-books, and many other means to increase our knowledge about our religion. So, really, what's stopping us?

Mind Your Own Business!

This past weekend, I had an encounter with my sister that really made me think of the concept of "oversharing" or sharing at all.

In many cultures, it is not only common but recommended for women to share about their personal lives with their family members and at times friends. Heck, this is how she can resolve issues or try to make sense out of her own situation. But when do you know when to stop? Is there such a concept as "over" sharing? If so, where do you draw the line?

Before I was married, I used to share every detail of my love life with my friends. It was not only normal to do so, but it brought a lot of comfort to my life. For the most part, the guys didn't mind it and I didn't see it effect my relationship in any way except the actually positive way since I would get advice from my friends when we were having fights and my friends would actually help me resolve issues. Now, many years later, as a married woman, things are a bit different.

I am not sure if it's a confidence thing or it's just how the Iranian culture is, but my husband actually indirectly forbids me to tell anyone anything about our personal life. It was at first a bit hard for me to digest this drastic change, but eventually, I realized that it might actually be for the better if I do not share all our fights because sometimes people just misunderstand.

Now, I try very hard to not share anything about my life to my friends and if I do, there's a constant guilt that I feel along with it. That being said, I wonder, is the root of it, the act of telling surrounding friends or family (though I think family is just not good at all, especially if you have my kind of family, the kind that doesn't just listen and actually butts in and doesn't tire from always reminding you of your mistake or fight) is okay at all. And if it is okay, when does it become too much? When does it reach a point that it is considered "oversharing" by others and starts to annoy your audience?  

Driving

I used to enjoy driving so much.  I used to want to drive everywhere. Well, I still partly do enjoy driving that much, but it is important to know where. If I am driving about 2-3 hours per day everyday, because I have to, it kind of takes the enjoyment out of the equation. If I decide I want to drive up the coast from Los Angeles all the way to San Francisco, leave early in the morning with nothing but my coffee and some good music, now that is enjoyable. In fact, I have been driving so much this week, not just driving but driving in the sense that I have to be somewhere at a certain time, racing against time, racing against the traffic, racing against my fatigue, racing against it all.

I used to think people just complain too much. They have cars; all they have to do is get in their car and hit the gas pedal. I used to commute for about 2-3 hours a day when I was living in New York, but by bus and subway. BIG DIFFERENCE! I’m writing sporadically here. I guess all I wanted to share is, perhaps I don’t enjoy driving as much as I used to. More importantly, perhaps, I need to stop judging people!

Phones and Luck

I don't believe in luck or I want to not believe in luck. My main philosophy is that everything in life happens for a reason and the reason is not always clear and right in front of you. In fact, it might take years for you to understand that reason and heck you may never even find out if you are have not found your consciousness. If something happens to you throughout the day that may seem "unlucky" is not because you have suddenly "lost your luck" and hope to get it back the next day. No, the experiences you have that day you "lose your luck" are supposed to teach you something or maybe they are to lead you somewhere that you otherwise would not have gone.

In any case, recently I've had a lot of trouble with my phone! Let me just first give you a brief history about my phone usage. I had the iphone 5c for about 4 years and I loved using that phone. I was traveling a lot in between those 4 years from here and Iran but in any case, I had the phone, it worked very well for me and all was good. After 4 years of using the same phone and finally starting to see some "glitches" on my phone, I decided it is time for a new phone. I couldn't afford the expensive latest iphone phone OR the latest samsung phone, so I got a sweet deal at Project Fi of Google, an unlocked new phone (nexus 5x) for $200 and a new service with Project Fi. I LOVED my phone. Sure, it had less "features" than my iphone, but it was sleek and light, slightly bigger than my old iphone and I was happy with it. 2 weeks into using that phone and it was stolen. Well, I thought it was stolen. I had left it in my car, while I had gone into a client's house and forgot all about it. When I came back, it was gone and the window was slightly down. I looked EVERYWHERE! I looked around my car, inside my car, and I called it several times but it was no use. I figured somebody that really needed it probably took and it and I wished them well. So, I went back to using my iphone with the old service I had (Virgin Mobile) and cancelled Project Fi for the following months.

I was awaiting my husband's arrival at the time to the U.S. so I thought, when he comes here, we can buy phones together, since I knew he, too, wanted to get a phone. So he did arrive and perhaps days after his arrival, we went to T-mobile and got their best deal! Buy one samsung galaxy one and get the other one for free (after mail-in rebate). He got the Samsung Galaxy Edge 7 while I got the Samsung Galaxy Note 5. I was ecstatic with my new phone. Now, you have to understand that at this point of my life, I am not a person who is on her phone 24/7. In fact, since I have completed the #InsaneProductivity course with #DarrenHardy I have limited my phone usage to a whole lot. In any case, we both used our phones and loved it. We both purchased a case for both our phones and a glass cover for the front. My husband's phone fell from his hands a couple of times and of course only cracked the glass cover so all was well. I was very careful with my phone to not fall until one day, after about 2 months of having the phone. I was getting out of my car to go to the electricity department at our neighborhood (we had just moved to LA for less than 2 weeks). I had a lot in my hands and sure enough, my phone slipped out of my hand and fell to the ground face down. It fell so lightly that I was sure nothing had happened. Sure enough, when I picked it up, there were no visible cracks on the screen at all. I rushed to the electricity department and stood in line and took my phone out to give my husband a call and there I saw, that my phone would not turn on! A blue light was on and the screen was not responding to my touch. In a panic, I tried turning it off and on again but even that didn't work. To make a longer story short, my phone's actual screen was cracked beneath the glass cover. Thus, this had led to the LCD screen to break and the warranty did not cover this damage and after speaking to a T-mobile representative that led me to a third party "phone fixer", it would cost about $200-$300 to fix! I'm talking about the galaxy phones that constantly there are commercials about it never breaking and how amazing the quality was and whatnot! I was shocked! So I decided, fuck this, I'm not going to pay that much money to fix this phone, instead, I'll go back to using my Nexus 5X. (Oh I found this phone in my car weeks later right before we came to LA in fact, I took it to the car wash and the guy that washed the interior car fully found it! I had originally decided to sell it but when this incident happened, I decided to go back to using this phone).

Sure, my Nexus 5X was incomparable to the Galaxy Note that I had but I decided to make do. Only two weeks later, my phone started to show signs of not working! And sure enough, it shut down completely and would not even respond to my touch! The same exact thing basically had happened to it without me actually dropping it! So I contacted the Google company and sought answers! Turned out, this was a problem the phone itself started to show and so they agreed to send me a new phone! I was phone-less for about 2 days still since this happened on a Sunday and they shipped the phone on Monday and was received by me on Tuesday.

In any case, right now, I'm using my new Nexus 5x and my old/new Galaxy Note 5 is resting in my closet! I honestly don't know what to think of this situation. Was it all bad luck? Or were they merely experiences I needed to have in order to be sure that the best phone company for me at least is Apple? I would've gladly gotten an iPhone now but since I'm already in debt with all my credit cards and I don't have a steady job, there is no way I can do that! I even though of perhaps selling my two phones and getting an iPhone instead but even that won't work because the Galaxy Note 5, once fully mended meaning, once I pay $300 to fix it, it would only be worth $300! Then, the Nexus 5X, I'm also sure that this phone as well won't be worth much because as of late, the newest Nexus model is 7p!!

For now, I think I'm just going to stick to using my Nexus 5x until it really can't work anymore and then perhaps then, I will consider an iPhone. 

Rumi and Jim Rohn

You may wonder why I paired the two in my title. Well, the truth is, they are pretty similar in some ways, at least to me. One, they are both my mentors. And two, they both continue to teach me one important lesson: to be able to change your life, YOU have to change.

Rumi said in one of his poems, a story about a boy who wasn’t happy with his life. He first attempted to change his family, but he couldn’t do that. So, he attempted to change his town, but he couldn’t do that either. So, he attempted to change his city, but even that was impossible it seemed. Thus, the boy, all motivated, attempted to change his country. And when I claim “change”, I really mean change the people, the government, the culture, all of it. However, it seemed that he was reaching a dead-end. The boy didn’t give up and made one last attempt and this time, he tried to change the world. Finally, unfulfilled and exhausted, the boy turned inward. He decided, the only thing that he IS fully able to change, is himself.

Likewise, Jim Rohn always used to say that you cannot blame the environment, the economy, the government, the politics, the schooling, the weather, the colleagues, the taxes, or anything else for that matter, because in the end of the day, you can't change any of that. You have to work with what you've got and instead change YOU! 

It is a great lesson to be learned from these two great men and only when you apply them into your day to day life consciously, do you really realize just how profound and relieving this can be. You can be successful; all you have to change and develop, is you.

Being Thankful

Yesterday, I was listening to a recorded seminar by Jim Rohn and he mentioned one of the most important things to do in order to become wealthy or successful, one must be thankful. Now, I've heard all the benefits of being thankful countless times from many different sources. And of course, I agree. I think it is important to be thankful for all that we have, all the small stuff and all the big ones. In fact, it is part of my religion too. Just a couple of years ago, I worked as a ghost writer and assistant to someone who would force me to write down my 3 sources of gratitude every single day. The task was annoying at first, especially having to sit down in front of him and come up with my "3 things" at first but I knew that it's only going to help me. In fact, I was so into writing my 3 things everyday that I became addicted to this and it became a routine. However, after I quit that job and basically "life" got in the way, I dropped that habit.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am thankful, beyond words. From time to time, I also state it that I'm thankful for all that I have, and can have. I feel like it is very important to make it a routine though, every night before going to sleep say at least 3 things that you are grateful and thankful for. Just last night, I forced myself to do it but perhaps, just like writing, I have to slowly inject this habit onto my life routine. 

Making It Big

I have always heard this phrase while growing up, whether it was in movies or distant people. But, I never felt what it really means. I saw in the movies that a “no body” would suddenly decide to want to make it big meaning, the desire to be better than what he himself was or his family, was first instilled in him. Then, he looked for ways he can prove himself to the ones who are already big and have the power. Somehow shortly after he got their approval, he seemed to be doing everything right. Whatever he touched would turn into gold. Before even he can notice it, he was there, at the top, making it big.

I remember as a child I thought, I want that. And from that early age, I came to believe that yes, it is possible. Even if you come from a background that has nothing to do with business or whatever it is you desire for yourself right now, you can still “make it big” as long as you work hard. I grew up believing it. Now, I still believe in this concept, but I am only now struck by how difficult you really do have to “work” as the movies exaggerate how fast the main character goes from trying to get the approval, doing everything right, and suddenly becoming the star. In fact, as one of my mentor points out all the time, movies tend to skip all the little failures the main character experienced on his way to stardom or even all the mundane tasks that he had to do on a day-to-day basis in order to really become so great at what he does best.

My conclusion? Movies are great, sure. In fact, movies are one of the best pleasures in the world for me, especially going to the theater to watch a movie. It gives me so much nostalgia and tickles my inner child’s spirit. But that’s all they are: my go-to pleasure and entertainment time. However, they cannot replace my ideology or vision about life and how I should act to reach my goals. To be able to be successful, I need to follow my very own blue print.

Blogging Habit

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." --Aristotle

I have recently begun to blog everyday, or close to everyday. It's only been a week, or maybe even less. For some reason, over the years, writing has become something of a chore for me, like exercising or cleaning the house. I procrastinate, experience anxiety at times if I create deadlines for myself and have the hardest time to actually get myself to sit down to do it. Yet, almost without fail, every time I actually do get myself to sit down to write or go to the gym to work out or clean my house, I feel successful, at peace, and wonder why it took me such a long time to do what I did and promise myself not to take too long again next time. And then, almost inevitably, the cycle repeats itself.

Perhaps it all comes down to habits: making it a habit to do something and making sure that it becomes part of your daily routine. As they say, it is hard to get rid of habits. According the the dictionary, "habit" is defined as "a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up." I recently read in an article that in order to make something a habit, you should do it for 40 days. However, it is the first 40 days that's always the hardest. This got me thinking and into research mode. 

Luckily, I stumbled on a very useful article titled, "The 3 R's of Habit Change: How to Start New Habits that Actually Stick" by James Clear. 

James Clear, a writer, photographer, and teacher, who regularly writes about the power of habits, gives a precise guide about how to apply habit change to your life by following the "3 R's". The 3 R's include:

Remind. (The trigger that initiate the behavior)

Routine. (The actual behavior or act itself)

Reward. (The benefit you gain from doing the behavior)

The article goes on to discuss that in order to make a new habit, one must come up with a system and apply it every day until eventually it becomes a habit you can't live without. First, you must have a trigger or "Reminder". For instance, in my writing habits, I can make it a habit to write first thing in the morning or right before I brush my teeth to go to sleep. (I am still not sure whether I want to do it first thing in the morning, at the end of the day, or perhaps in the middle). Then, as soon as you set that reminder and are triggered, you must do the "Routine", in my case, I write. 

James emphasizes that it is crucial to start small and eventually build it up. For instance, in my case, perhaps I should work on short posts in the first few days and eventually make them longer and more polished and researched too perhaps. The next step, is to remind yourself of the benefit you have gained from this behavior, the "Reward". In my case, I always do feel the benefit when I write, as I feel that I am getting closer to my goal of practicing my art and improving myself as a writer. It may also be helpful to actually tell yourself words or phrases that show you are giving credit to yourself. For instance, every time you do the small act, you can simply say: "Good job!" or "Victory!" or "Success!" It is important to do this every time you do the act, every day. 

I am determined to practice the "3 R" Habit Change Guide and make writing a habit for myself and as part of my daily routine. Let's see how much of a more determined and disciplined writer I become by the end of this coming week when I do it. 

Here is a diagram that James Clear provided in his article about the process of the "3 R's":

Balance in Goal-Setting

Today I was revisiting my goals for the year and following the "Live Your Best Year Ever" program with Darren Hardy. In order to have a "balanced" lifestyle, one must try to succeed in all areas of life like Financial, Spiritual, Physical, Mental, Business, Family/Relationships, and Lifestyle. Thus, the first step is to "assess" your life in all areas.

For Finances, do you have a detailed budget and stick to it unfailingly? Do you have a professionally designed and diversified financial portfolio? Do you feel like you are compensated completely according to your worth?

For Spiritual, do you consider yourself a spiritual person? Do you meditate for at least 20 mins a day? Do you study your spiritual beliefs daily?

For Physical, do you do strength training at least 3x a week? Do you watch no more than 1 hour of TV everyday? Do you drink no more than 1 caffeinated beverage a day?

For Mental, do you read or listen to something instructional or inspirational for at least 30 mins each day? Do you seek instructional information in your field every day? Do you never engage in gossip? Do you always say no to requests or obligations that don't fit your core values or objectives?

For Business, do you always plan your day out the day before? Are your goals written, prominently displayed and regularly reviewed? Does your current business/job have the realistic potential of accomplishing all your financial goals for the next 10 years?

For Family/Relationships, do you spend at least 10 hours of your focused time with family each week? Is there no one in your life who you haven't completely forgiven? Do you recognize when you need support and continually seek help when you do?

For Lifestyle, do you feel like there is enough time in the day to do what you both need to do and want to do? Do you live life to the fullest every day? Do you take time out to daydream every day? Do you have hobbies outside of work that you enjoy and take part in at least 3x a week?

Once assessment is completed, the next step is to score yourself and draw in your "Wheel of Life":

Once you fill out your scores accordingly for each category, you will have your diagram. In this way, you will see in what area of your life you need to do more and in which area, you're doing okay. Then, you write your goals for each area. When picking your goals, you assume within a year you complete these goals so you make another diagram on top of the one you already had to produce the "ideal" diagram. Here's mine:

As you can see, I have my original diagram that looks like an incomplete shape of some sort, and then I have another that I have drawn on top of it that resembles a circle more so. In fact, I had to revise my goals in the areas that I needed most in order to maintain the balance of my wheel of life.

In order to make a statement, I want to share my three "banner" goals for the year. This way, I will be held accountable at least by the blogging world. And when I say for the year, I really mean for the rest of the year (until Dec. 31, 2016). Here are my banner goals:

1. Pay off credit card debts of $8,000 and increase net worth by $25,000.

2. Complete the Insane Productivity program, the Live Your Best Year Ever program and journal, read 10 books and listen to 40 hours of audio on Professional Development.

3. Lose 5 pounds, do yoga 3x a week & reduce coffee (at least 3x a week, reduce coffee to 1x a day like weekend and another day of the week).

It's Time for Action!

I have recently decided to change the course of my life. There are several key things I want to change in my life like my goals, my habits, and my point of view.

I have already worked to change myself and my habits a lot. In fact, I went from a girl who had 2000+ songs in my iTunes & always constantly trying to add the latest available music and organize them accordingly to a person with 0 music. I have some songs still there because I purchased them on iTunes apparently I can't get rid of them. But I rarely listen to them. Instead, I use iTunes as a medium for listening to self development audio files. Likewise, I went from watching and following 5 tv shows at a time to watching none. I might occasionally, in my absolute free time watch something funny or maybe even dramatic, but I don't stick to keeping up on new shows. In fact, I stopped watching the shows I used to follow and I stopped watching anything new for that matter. In addition, I have gained control of my use of my phone, social networks and sometimes go days without checking my social media profiles or hours without checking my phone. In fact, at times I don't check my phone so much that I forget that I own one!

Of course, these changes in habits didn't happen overnight and there is still certainly a lot of habits that I can not only change but add into my lifestyle, like reading more often, listening to more audios, and spending my time doing creative activities during my "recovery" rest time.

Now, I am going even bigger. I'm considering to forego the number one goal that I have had for the past 4 years, and that is, pursuing a PhD in Composition. I first began to have this goal for pursuing a "Comparative Literature" PhD, a goal that I changed recently to "Education". However, now, I am considering changing that altogether and taking it out of the proportion.

I want to describe the emotional distress that immediately followed even thinking about letting go of this dream and making a new one. Logically, it makes a lot of sense to give up this dream and follow really bigger ones. However, emotionally, it is really hard because it leaves me feeling empty inside and unfulfilled. I have held this image in my head for so long that my bliss lies in pursuing a PhD. It was safe and warm. Sure, it had some obstacles and hardships and surely once admitted to a program, it meant having to sacrifice a lot to be able to be the best at it. But int he end of the day, it was safe, because it was school. School feels safe to me. But I always knew that once I completed school, I would have to come back into this "real world" once again. Perhaps I was only trying to delay this process.

My husband pointed out something yesterday that really hit the mark: it is time for action. For the past 4 or 5 years, I have been up in the air, not sure where I can land. I was traveling a lot between the US and Iran, staying for a couple of months here and a couple of months abroad. I wanted to pursue a PhD but I couldn't because I had to work in order to have money to travel or because long-distance was just too darn hard for us.

Today is the day for action, because I can't complain about the same things anymore. My husband is finally here; we are finally settled in at one place (LA, California) and it is time to act. I can't just make excuses anymore and I don't want to! I want to start living my best year yet. I want to be my most successful best. And it seems to me that pursuing a PhD is not the route I want to take to be able to become that person.

I don't want to take too much time trying to come up with something new either. In fact, it is pretty clear what I want to do: I want to write. I want to lead. I want to pursue entrepreneurship. I want to become a business professional.

To me, that translates straight into an MBA.

Big Magic: Fearlessly Living a Creative Life

I picked up the book, "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert a few months back. I finished it shortly after but I haven't had the chance to write on it. Now, I'm an Elizabeth Gilbert fan. I was introduced to her writing like many others, by her "Eat Pray Love" novel. I immediately became a fan and read her next work and the next and the next, which was Big Magic. 

Big Magic is a guide to living a creative life without fear. Gilbert begins the book with her definition of creativity and the process of becoming inspired and getting an idea. She argues that ideas are magical beings that have minds of their own. They enter our minds at their own will and leave when they deem us not worthy. Furthermore, she affirms that being creative is a gift and not a curse as many artists in the past made it seem like. In fact, it is a gift that is given to each of us from the universe and beyond; thus, it is our responsibility to accept it and embrace it. We must be diligent in practicing our art, whatever it is. The more we practice, the better we get at it. This is a universal law that applies to everything in life. Practice makes perfect right? 

 

Elizabeth Gilbert also writes about her own experiences as a writer, how she entered the world of writing with no promises of becoming successful and long before her big break with Eat Pray Love, she experienced many failures. She suggests all writers to not focus on making money out of writing, at least not for a long time. Hey, this is not to say that she is discouraging all writers! As a writer who has struggled for many years to make any money out of her writing, she is sharing her experiences with her colleagues. 

My Opinion of the Book

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the perspective that I gained about creativity, the idea of "ideas" and our responsibility of embracing our creative gifts really motivated and freed me. For one thing, it took the pressure off: I don't have to be an amazing writer if I want to write. In fact, who's making these opinions? Who can really say if I am an amazing writer or not? The truth of the matter is, it all comes down to practice. I keep making "blogs" and hoping that in this one, I will be more active and try to write, at least once a week. 

However, the older I get, the more I expect myself to mature as a writer and expect myself to write well, especially in a blog setting that is open to anyone to read. This paralyzing expectation has given me a writer's block when it comes to blogging for long enough.

It is this book and something a mentor of mine said once: don't care about a person's opinion who is not going to cry at your funeral. This may sound like a bizarre tip, but bear with me here. He stated that based on a study that has been done, if you live a long happy life and die at an old age, only less than 10 people will attend your funeral. On top of that, maybe 2 or 3 of those people will actually cry at your funeral. For some reason, this tip has been life-changing for me in regards to caring about what people think of me. 

So I'm going to write. Every day. Consider this post as my first in a long series.