This past weekend, I had an encounter with my sister that really made me think of the concept of "oversharing" or sharing at all.
In many cultures, it is not only common but recommended for women to share about their personal lives with their family members and at times friends. Heck, this is how she can resolve issues or try to make sense out of her own situation. But when do you know when to stop? Is there such a concept as "over" sharing? If so, where do you draw the line?
Before I was married, I used to share every detail of my love life with my friends. It was not only normal to do so, but it brought a lot of comfort to my life. For the most part, the guys didn't mind it and I didn't see it effect my relationship in any way except the actually positive way since I would get advice from my friends when we were having fights and my friends would actually help me resolve issues. Now, many years later, as a married woman, things are a bit different.
I am not sure if it's a confidence thing or it's just how the Iranian culture is, but my husband actually indirectly forbids me to tell anyone anything about our personal life. It was at first a bit hard for me to digest this drastic change, but eventually, I realized that it might actually be for the better if I do not share all our fights because sometimes people just misunderstand.
Now, I try very hard to not share anything about my life to my friends and if I do, there's a constant guilt that I feel along with it. That being said, I wonder, is the root of it, the act of telling surrounding friends or family (though I think family is just not good at all, especially if you have my kind of family, the kind that doesn't just listen and actually butts in and doesn't tire from always reminding you of your mistake or fight) is okay at all. And if it is okay, when does it become too much? When does it reach a point that it is considered "oversharing" by others and starts to annoy your audience?
In many cultures, it is not only common but recommended for women to share about their personal lives with their family members and at times friends. Heck, this is how she can resolve issues or try to make sense out of her own situation. But when do you know when to stop? Is there such a concept as "over" sharing? If so, where do you draw the line?
Before I was married, I used to share every detail of my love life with my friends. It was not only normal to do so, but it brought a lot of comfort to my life. For the most part, the guys didn't mind it and I didn't see it effect my relationship in any way except the actually positive way since I would get advice from my friends when we were having fights and my friends would actually help me resolve issues. Now, many years later, as a married woman, things are a bit different.
I am not sure if it's a confidence thing or it's just how the Iranian culture is, but my husband actually indirectly forbids me to tell anyone anything about our personal life. It was at first a bit hard for me to digest this drastic change, but eventually, I realized that it might actually be for the better if I do not share all our fights because sometimes people just misunderstand.
Now, I try very hard to not share anything about my life to my friends and if I do, there's a constant guilt that I feel along with it. That being said, I wonder, is the root of it, the act of telling surrounding friends or family (though I think family is just not good at all, especially if you have my kind of family, the kind that doesn't just listen and actually butts in and doesn't tire from always reminding you of your mistake or fight) is okay at all. And if it is okay, when does it become too much? When does it reach a point that it is considered "oversharing" by others and starts to annoy your audience?
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