Last Post of the Year

This is my last post of 2016.

I imagined I would have a lot of time in my hands to kill today. My plan was to take a nice hike with my husband Hamed to walk and talk about our plans, last checking of our "to do's" for 2017 and reviewing of the year together. However, first, it rained. Second, I had this mounting headache for most of the day that didn't want to go away. I was initially very tired and sleepy. I attempted to go to sleep during the early afternoon but failed to do so. I think I took a 10-minute nap but that's it. It was one of those power naps though it totally woke me up.

It is now 6:46p and I have to leave in an hour or less to get to Marina Del Ray on time for our dinner reservations where we are meeting our friends to party until 2017! I almost didn't write this post and only remembered to do it because I was checking my planner and saw that I had forgotten about it. I thought, hey, it's the last post of 2016. I need to write my last post of 2016 on the last day of 2016. It's interesting though. For the past 1-2 weeks, I have been working on my goal-setting plans and the more I plan, the more I get excited about all that I want to do and accomplish. If anything, I can't wait for 2017!

I'm so excited to start the new year. And it's a different kind of excitement. You see, in the past, every time the new year came, I just wanted to be RID of the current year and just jump into the new year where I'll suddenly change and become a whole different person and somehow miraculously reach all my goals. However, that never happened. I think it was because I just wished to be different but I never tried to be different. But this year is different. What I am most grateful about for 2016 is that I believe I have learned the secret to goal-setting! I am not an expert yet perhaps, but I know that I have improved. For one, I am a different person. That's why 2016 was the year of "Change" for me. Now, come 2017, I can't wait to put my goals into actions. In fact, it doesn't seem like tomorrow is going to be that different from today or the day before because I have been working towards these goals for months now. It's like all that I've done in the past 6-7 months have been a sort of "training" to get me ready for the real thing, for 2017. And I couldn't be happier and more proud!

2017, I'm ready for you! 

Goal Setting & Hosting

Goal setting for 2017: almost done.

Exercise plan: check.
Nutrition plan: check (Whole30 for January)

Writing plan: check.

Business plan: still working on it. I mean, I know what I want to do and I set up deadlines to do them. However, I still need to get down to the nitty gritty stuff and list all the objectives and action plans I need to make in order to hit those deadlines head on! Today is the 30th of December. Technically, 2017 starts tomorrow at 12 AM. Obviously I'll be partying LA style until 2 am tomorrow night...but we do have two more days off after that (Sunday and Monday). So I hope to complete my plans until then and be ready to "GO!" come Tuesday morning, Jan. 3rd.

For today, I'm busy preparing my small apartment for guests...I have 9 people coming over. I don't even have enough seats for everyone...we will surely sit very intimately but I know it will be fun and I need to prepare the food, the apartment, the night basically. It's 7:13 am now and the guests will arrive at 8:30 pm. So I have over 13 hours, which is a LOT of time but I do have a lot to do including some shopping and picking Hamed up from Santa Monica in the afternoon. My plan is to be done with cleaning, cooking (or at least preparing for cooking in time for dinner), decorating...until noon today! That gives me about 5 hours.

Here goes nothing...

Torshak

Today, I'm cooking a traditional Gorgani dish. Gorgan is a small mountainous city in Northern Iran. It is the capital of Golestan, which includes other smaller towns around the area. Gorgan is surrounded by mountains and vast forests. One of the most popular forests is called "Alang Darreh". During the weekends, it is packed with tourists and locals camping or picnicing--all year round! During the early mornings, locals hike around the area--wow there's so much beautiful hiking trails in there and also another popular spot is "Nahar Khoran" which leads to "Ziyarat", a traditional small town which is located in the mountains. Ok I'm getting way off topic here. Remind me to dedicate a post just about the beauties of Gorgan. You see, I was originally born in Gorgan. I lived in Gorgan for about a year when I was 5 years old--I went to Kindergarten there actually. That's it. Other than that, I haven't lived there but have taken every vacation while I was in Iran..there! In a way, even though I haven't lived there that long, I truly consider Gorgan as my home. Its trees and its people are home to me. I have many homes, as I have lived in three different countries in the span of 28 years, in 7 different cities and two different states in the U.S. alone. But when it comes to Iran, Gorgan is my home.

Back to the dish--Torshak. In Persian, "torsh" means sour so "torshak" is little sour basically, its literal translation. However, "Torshak" is a traditional Gorgani dish as I mentioned earlier. It is in fact so traditional that many Gorganis don't even know about it! My own husband who was born and raised in Gorgan had no idea what it was before he learned it from my family! Anyway, it's a delicious fall-y dish. You can have it just by itself, as a dip, or with rice! It's garlicy goodness all the way!

Oh and another thing, I have a thing about recipes, I usually am an "eye person" when it comes to how much the portion of each ingredient should be so what you see are all approximates. Here is the run-down of the recipe:

Ingredients:
Garlic (minced, 2 tablespoons)
Butternut Squash (I used two small ones, could be one big one)
Lentils (I want to say 2 cups?!)
Salt/Pepper to taste
Citrus juice to taste (I used Narenj, a really sour orange known as "bitter orange" that can only be found in California and Northern Iran! But you can substitute lemon/lime juice for that)
Sugar (I used half a tablespoon but this one is also really to taste. You have to taste it at the end to get a TANGY flavor)
Water
Vegetable oil (the oil is for frying the garlic. You need to put enough oil so that the garlic is buried inside the oil. It helps with frying the garlic without burning them.)

1. Cut butternut squash into small cubes.

2. Cook lentils with minimum water.

3. When lentils are cooked through, add the squash. Add salt & pepper to taste. On a separate pan, fry garlic with the vegetable oil. Remember, you need to put enough oil to really have the garlic buried in the oil. Fry until the aroma of garlic fills your kitchen!

4. When both lentils and squash are cooked through fully and mixed well, and all the water is gone, add the fried garlic.
5. At the end, add citrus juice & sugar. Make sure to taste to get a tangy taste.

6. Turn off the heat, and serve! (Final pic will be posted tomorrow)

From Change to Anchor

Today, I start my day at Philz Coffee, with a cup of "Sooo Good" and cream. As soon as I hear the familiar voice of Justin Timberlake come on the radio, it doesn't matter whether I recognize the song or not, I feel right at home. I settle onto the couch, take a sip of my coffee goodness and do my part of writing.

I have begun planning for the new year. I'm using several different tools to plan. One of the things I'm also doing this week is I'm scanning my last year. What have I accomplished? What did I plan on doing? What were the good times? What were the bad times? What were my biggest regrets? How far have I come? How much have I grown? If I can sum up 2016 in one word...what would it be?

Change. I feel that one great theme of this past year is "change" for me. I want to also use the synonym "transition" but I feel that it does not quite capture all of it. No. It only covers part of it. The truth is, I have embraced change in a way that I never have before. There were good changes and there were bad ones. It's like as soon as I decided that I will accept and embrace change, I entered a new realm of happiness. These changes were in all areas of my life...my career, my aspirations, my relationships with family and friends...certain friendships had to end and certain ones had to begin. Inevitably, this is the cycle of life. More than anything, I see an element of maturity for myself, so much that at times I surprise myself.

I wonder what my "word" for next year would be. I didn't quite do this the years before but I want to predict my word of the year beforehand. Based on my goals and my expectations, I feel strongly what my word would be and that's...growth. It's interesting because I feel that I was stuck between the word "growth" and "change" for 2016 but I realized that ultimately, 2016, the whole year from beginning to end was this sense of transitioning and changing and shifting. However, come 2017, I want stability, no change, but instead I want to grow and maintain. It's like a combination of it. The word anchor comes to mind to emphasize composure and peace. Don't be surprised if you see such a tattoo on me in a few months...

I'm going from change to growth or should I say anchor? I don't know what 2017 has in store for me, but I definitely have a lot planned.

5 to Go!

In my last post, I reflected on my 2016 year up to that point, where 26 days were remaining. Now, 21 days have passed by and it's December 27th, with only 5 days left to 2017. It's funny how we start to count down when it we get closer to the end of the year! Well, maybe it's just me...

I'm not very proud of it but I believe I have not written in these 21 days. I think it was because I was busy for half of that time, but the real reason I did not write was because I was expecting too much of myself. In the past 5 months or so, I have switched from not writing at all like months passing before I write a small piece or blog post or even a poem. However, I have really turned all that around, and I'm glad for it. I really stepped it up this time. I created this blog and have "98 posts" to date! That's quite the effort! I didn't even write everyday. In addition, I worked on my fictional writing and have about 60 pages, which is a great start to a novel. And now, even though I have not written for 21 days, not my fiction, not poetry, not blog posts, with 5 days left to 2017, I have to finish it with glory! If I just write everyday until the new year, in these 5 days, if I just "publish" a blog post everyday, then maybe I can turn it around again and finish the year with a *BANG*!

I have been studying the science of habits for a while now. And there's this thing called "Key Stone Habit". It is believed that once you find out your "key stone habit," then a chain of events will follow or better yet, a chain of good "habits" that will be inevitable. It's like this, when you work out, usually a series of good habits follow like drinking more water, eating better, sleeping better, etc. It's a natural process but it's like with ourselves, we take it upon ourselves to improve on every area of our lives when we do well in that one area that is perhaps more difficult. Other keystone habits that ring true for most could also be having a good nutritious breakfast first thing in the morning or even making your bed after you wake up. For me, I think I've figured out one of my keystone habits--it's writing! No surprise there. I have noticed that the days that I start my day with writing, I am much more successful at doing everything I have set out to do; I am more productive. When I start my day with writing, I am more at peace, more happy, more me. There are many other more small key stone habits that I have and have already observed in me and am still figuring it out, but I think writing is definitely one of them. I feel as if I'm not complete when I don't write. My soul cries out for it if I don't pay attention to it.

In these past 21 days, I had this rising guilt in me about not writing. And then, instead of making it better by just writing a blog post, giving 10 minutes attention to it to write even if I don't work on my work of fiction or I don't give a full hour or more to it...instead, I kept making these big-ass goals to write for 2 hours or write for one hour or 90 minutes or etc... For whatever reason, I just never got to it. I got lazy, I got busy, I avoided it, I procrastinated on it, I forgot about it...and the reasons just go on and on. Certainly, I am giving writing my full attention when writing my new year's resolutions for 2017. In fact, writing is one of my "Big 3 Goals" of the year. I believe I will do great things with my writing this upcoming year as I have done this year. For me, having 98 posts in my blog is quite an accomplishment! Especially when I truly started writing back in August! Or maybe it was September?! In any case, I will improve even on that though. I will also make a new blog--one for my business where I post only writings that are about writing and about what I do. I may merge it with this blog or make one for itself. In addition, I will be working on my story to complete as a novel and make a serious attempt to publish it.

I think it's time. To show the world what I'm made of.  

26 Days to Go

This year has been one of the best for me. I feel like throughout the year, I've made all the right choices. Well, perhaps not all the right choices, surely, but overall, I've done well this year. I started the year, with making the decision to come to the U.S. and not stay in Iran with my husband. Even though I had lost my job as a professor and ESL teacher due to going to Iran for a month and a half, I still opted to come back. I had many reasons for wanting to come back and I'm glad they pushed me to do it, because it's one of the best decisions I ever made. After about four months or so, I felt like I had made a mistake and I needed to go to Iran and this time stay there until Hamed's visa was ready to go so we can come back together. I booked a flight and started applying some goal-setting strategies that I had learned from the many Darren Hardy modules and videos and conference I attended to make my stay in Iran as valuable as possible. Two days before my flight, Hamed's visa was ready for pick up. I cancelled my flight and awaited his arrival. After about 5 years, I finally saw my husband in the United States on June 2016.

We traveled for a month, just as I had always dreamed we would do. We took a family trip to Miami, FL and we went on our honeymoon to the most beautiful islands of Bahamas on a cruise, we traveled to NYC, my home, for less than a week and came back to Oakland, CA. After much research and thinking, we finally decided we wanted to live in Los Angeles, CA so we moved here in August 2016. We have been living here ever since. I have to say, since the beginning but especially now after 4 months, I am more in love with LA than ever. I love my apartment, my neighborhood, the weather, the city, the ocean, the people, and of course the added bonus of having Iran in the palm of our hands here in LA where most Iranian-Americans live. I am grateful and thankful for all of this.

Another awesome fact about 2016 is that I feel like I have finally identified my calling in this world. Because I made the decision to stay with my husband for a month and a half in January in Iran, I lost both my teaching jobs. However, by losing those jobs, I gained something much better. I was pushed to pursue self-employment as a writing tutor and editor, which has led me to begin Meela Editing. The business is still very much in its first stages, but I feel like it has come a long way since its "launch" though that was never an official thing. I feel that because of it, I have now an opportunity to be led into the new year, 2017, with tangible goals, for which I'm truly grateful. I am also able to call myself a writer. I have been blogging regularly (despite the past couple of weeks), I am working on two writing projects including a work of fiction and a memoir/cookbook, and I am also doing academic writing on the side. In addition, I have designed and have begun facilitating a series of Writing Workshops where I have combined meditation with Free Writing. I feel that most of this has been possible because I didn't simply say: "I'll do it next year". As I mentioned in my previous blog, ever since I heard a #DarrenDaily about the importance of starting right now rather than leaving it for later, I have been trying to put it into practice in my life and I feel that I have truly gotten results. Anything that I think of and do right away like washing the dishes, cooking, writing, exercising, anything really, I have gotten the best results. And likewise, every time I have left work incomplete only to do on a later day, something has come up and has caused me a lot of stress to get that original work done or worse---not get to it until it was too late.

I trust that in these 26 days of 2016, I am still due for a lot to be done and not just count this last month as the last month where I only await the new year but I continue giving it my fullest attention to be able to reach all the goals I have set for myself, and more importantly, to prepare for even bigger goals in 2017. 

Making Ends Meet

I feel like the past few days I've just been "making ends meet" in terms of getting work done. I've been overly exhausted, still, since the thanksgiving week. My entire family came to visit and it was very taxing. And to make matters worse, my fridge completely broke down that entire week and the repairman from G.E. came to fix it the Wednesday after thanksgiving when everyone had already left. There is only one more week of classes left plus a presentation I have to do for my Business class on the 15th and I have a frighteningly long list of "to-do's" I have to do both for my own classes and for my clients. It's a good think next semester I am not planning on taking more classes (except two dance classes, which I love and bring me peace rather than stress). I can then focus more on gaining more clients and not only reluctantly agreeing projects.

I think I'm also feeling like I'm only doing work to get it done even if it is mediocre at times, because I haven't been writing. I mean, I'm writing now, but, it's not the same. It's been over two weeks now that I haven't written in a consistent, everyday, put a timer and write 60-90 minutes. Even as I'm writing now, I feel like I have so much to do and I need to get back to them. Think of this, as my rant, for the most part. This past weekend has also been packed because Hamed and I have been so focused on cleaning the apartment (because we didn't get a chance to do so since everyone left a couple of days ago) and practicing our speeches for toastmaster's! You see, I'm giving my 6th speech (I have given the first 5 speeches, from the Toastmaster's Communicator Manual, twice in Oakland, CA at the Andeesheh Toastmaster's). And now, I'm giving my 6th speech based on the manual, here in LA at Motivated Toastmaster's. It's a lot of pressure because I haven't given a speech since last July and this is going to be the first speech I will give at Motivated TM and also it's my 6th speech so I need to have leveled up and be able to speak eloquently and beautifully using no notes--which is always the hardest for me. However, even in practicing my speech, I feel like I'm just doing it to get it done. I just sent a video of myself practicing the speech to my mentor but I am definitely not proud of it. There's one thing I'm thankful about though--I don't have Toastmaster's until Tuesday morning!

If there is one thing I'm really proud of for this past week is joining the gym! I've finally done it! I joined on Friday and have already been to a Zumba class then and worked out a bit today. I'm going to a cycling class tomorrow and will be getting a full "assessment"/training session on Tuesday. I joined the gym because I wanted to pursue this new approach of my life--don't leave anything for tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, if there is something you have to do, just do it now. Thus, I joined in this last month of the year and am planning on going to the gym at least 5-6 times a week. Even if I don't do a full class or I just run for 15 minutes and stay in the sauna for another 15 minutes, I have to do it. In this way, I will be getting my money's worth and I will start shred those extra pounds and be well on my way to get back in to shape come 2017!

Thankful

I'm so excited for this year's Christmas and it's not just because I'm finally spending this Christmas with the love of my life in my own home--well, that has a lot to do with it but it's not the only reason. I think another reason is just because I'm so happy about this past year. I feel that I've had such an amazing year and I feel so thankful. I feel that I haven grown a lot and I've made some substantial changes in my life that I'm very proud of. Most importantly, this Christmas 2016, I can finally declare myself as a writer! I know I haven't been writing everyday for the past two or three weeks due to my crazy schedule and having guests over, but I have proof of my work--this blog, my story...

In fact, I'm once again very motivated to go back to my story and complete it. I did lose a little bit motivation and start a new project (which I would like to also do after I complete the story). I shared the story with my MasterMind group and I've gotten so much compliment from them that I'm all juiced up and ready to get back to writing! I know thanksgiving is already done, but, I never gave a chance to myself in this platform, to give my thanks. So here it is...

Post-Thanksgiving Regrets

It seems like every Thanksgiving, the week leading up to it, we find ourselves counting down the days until we reach turkey day. Whether we ourselves are the chefs or we are invited to a friend's or relative's for dinner, we can't wait until we are sitting around that table and giving our thanks right before we dig into that flesh with a side of cranberry sauce.

Food--The Great Equalizer

As promised, this week, I would like to work on a couple of stories that I would eventually add up together to be a book. It is just a draft and it is very experimental because I want to really explore this idea that has been eating away at me until I finally bring it down on paper. So here it is, raw and vulnerable...

Excuses & Sunrise

I have an excuse...I mean, about not writing. But then again, I guess there's always something huh? I think I've confused my writing to do's and that has caused me to write even less. I guess never shoot for perfect huh? Now, I think wrote a total of one day this week well two days with today, and I had decided to start my 3-day a week blog days after thanksgiving due to my crazy schedule. Okay, I think I'm going through a pattern here...I keep talking about wanting to be organized and making sure I write both on my blog and work on my fictional work and yet...I have these weeks where I don't write for days and I just couldn't care for it! Sure, I had quiet the excuse...preparing for thanksgiving, preparing for my exam, preparing for coming here (East Bay), preparing for the 5K race (which is today), ...

Writing Dilemmas

My writing schedule is a bit messed up. Three weeks ago, I went back to my fiction writing and have been very good at writing consistently everyday. Everyday, I work on my story for an hour to an hour and a half. I want to eventually increase that number to two to three hours. However, after discontinuing to post those fiction writings here, I haven’t exactly been an active blogger. And I miss that. I miss having this space to just write.

Fiction-writing Update

48 pages.

Post-Election Panic

It seems like America has lost its honor.

Darkness

I was thinking about where my story is going this morning as I wrote the 43rd page of my story. I didn't know how or why, but whenever my fingers had an accord of their own and the words just flowed, the direction of the story went into darkness more and more. I don't know why that's happening or whether there should be a why. Surely, as all writers do, my story reflects my own story and my own life. Of course, there are no "Mandalas" in this world that we're living in and the details to the last core is not what I have experienced in my life or would even want to experience. Yet, when I go into the deep emotional parts of the story, I do use my own experiences, just as actors and actresses do when performing emotional dramatical monologues!

Alex & Matt in Dubai

This is not exactly a continuation of what I wrote here yesterday as I've been working on the story on my own, outside of this blog. In fact, I've decided from tomorrow on, because I am now fully invested and involved with this project (this story), I will be writing it in my own time, outside of my blog. I miss blogging for the purpose of blogging, so expect to see some of my old blog posts starting tomorrow morning.
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To Leave or Not to Leave?

At that moment, Alex was ecstatic that this day has finally come, but something was off. Alex couldn't quite put her finger on it but it didn't feel right, the way she always imagined. Somehow it all seemed too....perfect. She felt her hand squeezed by Matt and looked into his face. His creamy complexion, his dreamy eyes, his handsome smile…she shook her head internally, trying to shut that suspicion off. This is Matt, the love of her life.

Too Perfect

"This is Rune. He's....my nephew." Said Matt.

Marilyn smiled back. "He's very cute."

A few moments later, Alex ran out.

"I'm here...I'm here...ok! Let's go!"

It was a rather awkward dinner and although Alex was fully charged from her hospital stay, she started to feel the heaviness that was lingering in the air. Matt was being very sweet, as usual, yet her parents were so unimpressed. Maddy was the worst! She wouldn't even talk to him. She was on her phone the entire night! She kept arguing that it's her campaign manager as if all this time that she has been visiting here, this guy wasn't anywhere to be found calling her or whatnot and now he can't seem to have enough.

As for "Rune", the little boy Matt had brought, he was definitely the cutest but he just seemed so sad and scared. She asked Matt about him, but he just stroked her hair and said he would explain later. Meanwhile, Matt, was really trying to hold back the urge to order his Mandala to get out of there. His Mandala was doing just fine, but he was running out of time. He certainly wasn't expecting her parents to be around still and just hoped he would talk to Alex and they would take the jet back to Dubai by the night. And yet, it is almost 10 pm and they are still at the restaurant. In fact, although his Mandala was being very impressive, the parents were not impressed. When Matt got up to use the restroom, he communicated his needs with his Mandala....

Do we really need to continue with this? They're not even impressed! Let's just get out of here! And make something up or take Alex with us! She's missed me like crazy I can tell and whatever that hospital business was scared her so now is the perfect time to take advantage of that vulnerability isn't it?

...Matt...I will do as you wish if you so desire it. However, from what I'm reading in the situation, Alex really wants this night to go well and is growingly getting mad at her family for not holding up their end of the bargain. If we leave, it will only make her pissed off more. If we stay and endure the night, she will love us for it and will be more willing to hear us out afterwards. 

When Matt communicated with her Mandala, it was as if he was talking to himself while looking at the mirror. In fact, if anybody walked in, they would think there was something definitely wrong with him. However, the Mandala didn't have any other means to speak so it used the outlet of Matt's body to communicate with Matt. Other times, if Matt is in control of his body, then Matt may either speak out loud or think certain questions, but the Mandala will always respond as a thought.

Matt got back to the table and saw that at this point Alex started to really show her anger. She tried to hide it when she saw Matt. It wasn't very convincing. Before Matt can say anything though, Alex spoke up: "Hey, sweetie, I'm so sorry about this. But I think tonight seems a bust. It's kind of weird right now especially since I was at the hospital for the past 5 nights. Besides, my parents are leaving tomorrow morning so as soon as they're gone, we will see each other and catch up...okay?"

Matt frowned and said: "Sweetie...I know you have your family to take care of and I totally respect that. If anything, they're right to be upset and not very willing to talk to me because I've been gone this whole time that you've been sick and haven't even bothered to call. I know you understand {Matt said this when Alex tried to say that she understands} but the truth is, it looks bad. But, there is something I need to talk to you about, and it's kind of time sensitive. And...I can't speak in front of...everyone you know? Is it possible for you to just come home with me so we could talk and then I will drive you back home so you can be with your family tonight. Again, I wouldn't have asked you if this weren't a time-urgent matter."

Alex considered this for a while and decided to believe him. She finished signing her name on the check and everybody got up to leave. When they got outside to their cars, Matt shook hands with Alex's parents and Maddy, who reluctantly took his hand and they got into their car, without saying anything else. Matt leaned in to kiss Alex on the cheek and told her he would stay in the car for her. When Matt walked away, Alex told his parents that she needs to go over to Matt's apartment for a little bit. Nobody tried to argue against it and they complied and said they would go back home and wait for her before they go to sleep. Alex smiled, kissed his father and walked to Matt's car.
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When they got to Matt's apartment, Matt put Rune, who was already asleep in his bed and then took Alex' hand and brought her up to the roof, their usual place for talking. Matt poured two glasses of wine and gave one to Alex and they stood looking out onto the city while sipping on their wine. Alex was waiting for Matt to speak. She was really starting to feel some stress by now though. It's not that she was scared of being there with Matt, but she knew he wouldn't have asked her to come up there if it weren't something serious. She was also worried about what her parents would say. They oddly let her go easily without any questions but she knew the questions awaited her at home. She took a deep breath and took another sip of her wine.

Matt finally began to speak:

"Alex...I want to start by telling you how much I am sorry for not being there for you this past week. When you told me today that you were at the hospital this past week, my heart just broke. I thought, how do I dare tell this woman I love her and yet I'm not there for her when she needs me most? I am so ashamed of myself that you would never know...! Also, I didn't know your parents would be here and though I'm so glad that I was able to see them now, especially now, I just wished that it would be in better circumstances. The truth is Alex, I can't live here anymore."

Alex looked really confused at this point.

"You know that trip I took to Dubai? Well...I went, and thankfully, I was able to help that little boy and he was able to get the medication he needed and everything was fine. But, when I talked to the boy, whose English was very good indeed because of the school you helped built...he told me about a friend of his from his village. He said that this friend of his was brutally separated from his mother and his mother was taken away by the government...God knows where! So I got a team together to try and find this boy and thankfully, he was still hanging around in his village, in his own home, with no food or water. This boy had been in there for a week. I tried to take him to a Foster home or anything but they just wouldn't hear of it! They were afraid the boy would have some virus! I couldn't believe it...and well, after that, I decided I couldn't let this boy starve to death and so I...took him under my wing until I can find out where his mother has gone and see if I can reunite him with his mother. I was able to bring him on my trip, because I was afraid of what would happen to him..."

Alex finally began to realize what he meant.... "Rune? Is that the little boy? He's not your nephew then? Oh..." Alex didn't know what to say or what to think. Here was the love of her life, being this amazing hero. She couldn't believe it. Matt was a good man but he was never this self-sacrificing. The culture there must've really had an effect on him. 

"Yes, I brought Rune with me. Especially because he is so attached to me now! He wouldn't even let go of my hand when we wanted to pass through security at the airport! I wouldn't lie if I said I have also grown attached to him. But I came here, because of you. All of this adventure in Dubai really made me realize how much I can't live without you and how much I need you in my life."

Alex was a hundred percent hooked at this point, seeing the tears in Matt's eyes and feeling her own eyes moistening when he set his wine glass down and kneeled on one knee in front of her. Oh my god! He's going to propose. Oh my god!! Matt reached into his pocket and took out a small box and opened it, containing the most beautiful diamond ring Alex had ever seen. Then, she realized, it's the one that she had wanted for herself. Two years ago, she had seen this same exact ring when she had just started dating Matt...but how could he have...?

Seeing the confusion in her eyes, Matt continued: "I know. I remember. When I saw you being practically glued to that window, staring at that ring, I couldn't help myself. I went in an bought the ring...just in case. And now, I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I can't even fathom my life without you, let alone live it. Alexandria Marilyn Johnson....will you marry me and make me the most happiest man on earth?"

At that moment, Alex was ecstatic that this day has finally come, but something was off. Alex couldn't quite put her finger on it but it didn't feel right, the way she always imagined. Somehow it all seemed too....perfect.

45-minute Writing Session Today

It was around 9:24am when Alex finally woke up. This time, she didn't wake up by the sound of her own screaming. Her eyes physically hurt. Alex tried to turn her head and that's when she felt it. She couldn't move her head, or her arms or legs for that matter. She was strapped to the bed. She looked around to find her sister but could only see white walls. She was just about to call out to her when she heard someone opening the door.

"How are you doing Ms. Ivana?" It was a man's voice. He walked towards her and stood right in front of her so she could see him fully. He had a tall and lean profile. He was wearing the same white lab coat that Alex had observed in many of the other nurses and doctors. He was wearing glasses and had dark black hair with piercing hazel eyes. He looked genuinely concerned and was looking at Alex intently. So much that she felt herself blushing. But then she remembered she is strapped to the bed and suddenly felt her anger rising again.

"Why am I strapped? Where is my sister? Where am I?" Alex demanded.

The man with the intent eyes smiled slightly and put his hand on Alex's shoulder and smiled gently. "My name is Eric Thompson and I am the night doctor. Your sister is okay. She's still in the hospital, just in another department. We had to transfer you to this department because....Do you remember anything from last night?"

Alex couldn't help but melt in his eyes. So she closed her eyes to think. "It's all kind of a blur. I was in pain and then...I started crying, I think. My sister...Maddy...oh god I didn't say anything to her did I?" Alex suddenly opened her eyes and looked at the doctor.

"So that's why." Eric murmured and then continued in a louder voice: "No. You don't need to worry. You were just really...emotional. It's a common side-effect to MOD."

"MOD?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Mandala Over Dose. Most patients stay at the hospital for at least a week to recover. They've just been replacing themselves with their Mandalas for so long that they are not used to the regular human emotions that they just let it go so much. Many people don't understand that crying or angry outbursts are normal human functions and in fact, it is part of human nature and if we are always blocking or avoiding that so much, we would be denying a part of our natural human selves. In fact, the body is connected to our emotions; it is because of this that the body begins to reject the Mandala if we have used it too much."

The good-looking doctor finished as he started to release the knots of the bed straps that contained Alex in place. Alex thought back to what her father always said. Could it really be? But then, that means the invention of Mandalas are not indeed perfect and that it contains faults. Alex moved her arms around as the doctor released the straps. She stretched her arms long as he freed them. He then proceeded to her legs and opened the straps there. His long fingers brushed Alex's skin on his way down and Alex felt a shiver go up her spine right there. She glanced at him to see if he noticed but even if he did, he didn't let on. After opening all the straps, he went over to the computer and started studying it. Alex pushed herself up. She still felt really weak.

"So did I get special treatment or do MOD patients also usually get strapped to the bed when they are hospitalized?" Alex asked.

Eric turned back and responded: "No. I mean, it's very unlikely. We only strap patients in this way, if they pose a risk to themselves."

Alex blinked and frowned. "...pose a risk? Because I was crying? I though you said---"

"Alex, you tried to kill yourself. I mean...you probably feel sore from last night and it's due to all the bruises you caused yourself. You kept on trying to tear the needle from your arm and using it to pierce yourself. If your sister weren't there and awake, we may have lost you there for sure."

Alex stared at him, wide-eyed, barely believing it. How could I have done that and not even remember it? All I remember is having nightmare after nightmare and then waking up, feeling more unrested than before I went back to sleep. That stupid day doctor or whatever last night should've warned her. How should she know that this was a possibility? More than ever, she missed Matt. And with that thought, she felt more guilty. He was in Africa trying to help the poor kids and here she was selfishly wanting him while having impure thoughts about her night doctor. "So, did I sleep at all? I mean, what time is it?"

"Well I put a watch on you to check every half an hour. Since half an hour ago, you slept for about half an hour." Eric smiled at her.

"No I mean...is it still night time? I mean..you said you're my night doctor so..." Alex responded.

This time it was Eric's turn to blush. "Oh...the day doctor...your doctor...he hasn't arrived yet so I thought I should be here until I make sure he gets here so I can fully transfer care."

Alex decided to have a little fun with this: "Transfer care? Isn't that the nurse's job usually?" Alex smiled at Eric's face who tried to explain more. "I know...thank you." Alex looked into Eric's eyes. He was just so genuine. And that's when she wondered: was it really him she was talking to or was it his Mandala? Why should taht matter? It didn't use to matter. What changed? Are doctors allowed to change into their Mandalas? Or are they limited at all? 

Their stare-fest was interrupted when Maddy, Alex's sister walked in.

"Hey...you're up! How are you feeling sis?" Maddy asked happily.

Alex smiled back at her sister. She was very impressed by Maddy. She didn't think Maddy would offer to stay with her the night, let alone actually stay. "Yeah..I'm up. I'm okay...Doctor Eric here was very helpful."

Maddy looked confused and looked between Eric and Alex to try to figure it out. That's when Alex realized she had just called her doctor by his first name. That's probably not the most normal response.

-----this was only a 45 minute writing session. I'm falling asleep at this point so I'm going to either take a nap or get some coffee in my system so I can continue writing. I will continue on my own word document and post it here tomorrow.-----

Inspired by Music

"Was it your Mandala?" Maddy asked after several minutes.

Alex tried to protest--but she was too weak to go into that so instead, she said: "Yes."

Maddy didn't say anything for a while. She had her eyes closed and still held Alex's left hand in hers and was absently caressing it. Alex closed her eyes.

Then, Marilyn walked in.

"Sweetie. It looks like it really is in your benefit to stay here. I'm going to stay with you and Maddy is going home with your dad. Before Alex could say anything, Maddy spoke up: "No. Mom. I want to stay with her. You and dad go."

"No nonsense. None of you need to stay. I can stay. You guys are here on vacation. I'll call a friend to come stay with me," Alex said weakly.

Marilyn and Maddy looked at her a moment before turning back to each other. "Ok sweetie. You can stay here. Do you need anything though? I can bring it for you...maybe some pillows or something?" Marilyn said.

Maddy smiled, let go of Alex's hand and stood up. "Mom...we're in a hospital. We are surrounded by pillows and blankets all over the place! I'll be ok. If I get hungry, I'll just fetch something from the cafeteria. You guys go right ahead." And then she put her palm on Alex's forehead. "I'm going to take care of little Alex here myself. You guys go."

Marilyn smiled and looked at Alex this time. Alex, having surrendered by that point, smiled back at her and nodded, I'll be okay.

And with that, Marilyn walked out. Soon after, Maximus came in. "Hey sweetie. You sure you don't want anything from the house? What about you Alex? You know what, just call us if you need anything." He walked over to Alex first, this time, and kissed her on the forehead. Then he hugged Maddy and then he walked out.

Alex turned to Maddy and said: "you really didn't have to stay. You're going to be really bored now. I'm already ready to go back to sleep now."

Maddy flashed a smiled at Alex and went into her purse and fetched out a small book. "This is exactly why I always carry a book with me! I just started this novel actually so I'm going to sit right here [she sat on the chair next to Alex's bed] and read my book while you rest. And I will be here when you wake up or when you go back to sleep. Either way, I'm here for you." Maddy smiled and sat down and opened her book.

Alex was rather surprised. Maddy had never been so kind to her before. If anything, she felt worse. She really did wish she was alone.

"Hey...what's wrong? Do you have pain?" Maddy exclaimed when looked up from her book. Alex didn't even realize she was crying before Maddy said anything. She opened her mouth to try to explain herself but it only made it worse as she cried harder. Maddy took tissues out from the tissue box on the table side and gave a couple to Alex. Alex just cried harder. She couldn't even stop herself. "Hey...what happened? Do you want me to call the doctor?" And Maddy turned to go out of the room."

Alex tried to respond between sobs but it was no use. Maddy had already stepped out. Alex just continued to cry. It's been a long time since she'd cried. Maybe a year or two. Now that she started, she couldn't stop. Maddy walked in with the nurse at that point.

"She's crying. She must be in pain! She can't even speak. You have to see her!" Maddy was explaining to the nurse. The nurse tried to calm Maddy. She walked to Alex's bed.

"What's wrong? Do you have pain? Where do you have pain?" The nurse asked Alex.

Alex couldn't even respond. She was still crying, her sobs getting louder and louder. It was like with every sob, her heart felt a little lighter. She wondered why she hadn't cried in so long. The nurse went on the computer. She started punching things in the computer. She wanted to see what kinds of painkillers the patient was using. After reading the report, she blinked, knowingly and turned off the computer. She walked out only to return with a syringe.

"Wait...what are you doing? Is that going to help her? Do you even know what's wrong with her?" Maddy exclaimed, wide-eyed, after she saw that the nurse was headed towards Alex's bedside.

"Ms. You told me your sister is in pain didn't you? I checked her report, and right now, this is exactly she needs, based on her symptoms. In fact, it is a very normal response that she has shown in output and this is all in the process of her treatment." The nurse calmly explained to Maddy. When Maddy finally let her go, the nurse injected the fluid in the syringe inside the fluid pack that was attached to Alex's body.

Alex was still crying uncontrollably. After fully injecting the fluids, the nurse adjusted the fluid packet, threw out the syringe and turned to leave the room. Before leaving, she turned to Maddy and said: "I suspect this will continue for at least another hour or two. I suggest you leave her be for a while. Why don't you go and get some dinner from the cafeteria? I think the cafeteria is going to close by midnight."

Maddy was still worried about Alex and she turned to her. "Ms, you can't do anything about her right now." The nurse said. She smiled and walked out.

Maddy walked over to Alex's bed, and tried to call her. "Alex....do you hear me? Alex??" But it's like Alex was gone. She just cried on and on, taking breaths in the middle.

Maddy, deciding she really was no use, leaned down, kissed Alex's forehead and quickly escaped the room. She ran out really. After she came to a good distance from Alex's room, she stopped. She sat down at the nearest chair and took deep breaths.
--------

It wasn't an easy night. After Maddy calmed herself down, she had went into the cafeteria and had a small salad that she didn't enjoy. After about an hour, when she returned to Alex, she was confronted to louder wails of Alex. At this point, she was screaming so loudly though. The same nurse returned with two more nurses and they tried to hold Alex in place because now she was wailing and trying to squirm out of there. Maddy started crying too. She really didn't think it would be this bad. She hated seeing her sister in so much pain. Alex was shouting and trying to get up when another nurse, and a younger doctor walked in too. The doctor was holding an injection. While the other nurses held Alex down, the doctor injected her on her left arm this time. Alex, finally calmed down and went absolutely still. That was probably one, strong tranquilizer. Maddy stayed with Alex the whole night though. That outburst happened two other times. Each time, seven or eight nurses came in and the younger doctor, holding the strong tranquilizer.
--------

Scene is changed to Matt, showing him in Dubai, signing papers and arguing over a deal. The movie at this point alternates between scenes of Matt signing papers for girls to be released to the Auction facility in a city outside of Dubai. Then Matt is waiting outside in the middle of an empty road, leaning on his expensive car when a bus pulls in front of him. The bus is filled with women, scared, bowing their heads, trying not to look up at him. He handed a package to the bus driver and then walked into the bus. He counted the girls carefully. When his hands touched a girls' head accidentally, she drew back. He leaned down to look at her directly. His smile showed his innocence and the girl smiled back, relieved. He was talking to the girl, trying to calm her {his voice is inaudible as music is being played in the background in this part of the movie}. She smiles back and relaxes. Then, she gets up, her hand in his, and walks out of the bus with him. Matt signed the rest of the papers and gave the package, containing the one-time use GPS to the driver. He looked into his rearview mirror and closed his eyes. When he opened it again, he had that evil look about him again, and he hungrily looked at the girl. She instantly knew, but it was too late. He attacked her before she can scream.
{The song that is being played can be Rihanna's "Stay" which alternates between scenes of Alex screaming out loud and crying, Maddy, looking at her worried, while the nurses tried to hold her down and inject her with tranquilizers and then scenes of Matt signing papers, giving packages to these bus drivers taking buses filled with girls in the country and sometimes taking a girl or two out with him, raping them, and killing them on the spot and burning their bodies nearby.
-------

It was around 9:24 am when Alex finally woke up. This time, she didn't wake up by the sound of her own screaming. Her eyes physically hurt. Alex tried to turn her head and that's when she felt it. She couldn't move her head, or her arms or legs for that matter. She was strapped to the bed. She looked around to find her sister and could only see white walls...

Bloody Noses and Mandala After-Effects

Alex had been in her Mandala for days. This was the longest in fact. Her parents had decided to stay the week because seemingly, they were just having so much fun, so Alex had stayed in her Mandala for 4 straight days now. She didn't know if there was really any kind of side effects to that but she didn't really care much about that. However, she was starting to miss it. She wanted to be back in the world and fully enjoy everything as is. Then again, what is she going to go back to? Already, even within her Mandala, the guilt is still pretty pronounced every time she talks to her sister. This was definitely a first, feeling like she misses living and starting to feel the negative emotions that a Mandala is supposed to be a shield for that kind of stuff. 

It didn't help that Matt was still not back. In fact, she was really worried about him. Every time she called his cell, it was off. Ever since that first night, she still hasn't talked to him. This only added to her anxiety all together. Resolved, Alex decided to call her doctor and see him as soon as possible. Perhaps, this may be a good idea to escape her Mandala and her family all together. She went into her phonebook. She found the doctor's name, called and took an appointment for the following day with the receptionist. Now, she just needed to wait until tomorrow to get this problem sorted out.

It was 2pm and just like clockwork, her parents were taking their nap time, but her sister was awake. She was in the pool, waiting for Alex. Alex had said she had to go up to make an important call before she could join her there. She put on her swimsuit as she continued to ponder this dilemma. Before she exited her room, she switched over to her Mandala, hoping this time it would seriously protect her, as it always should. 

"Alex! What took you so long! Come on woman!"

Maddy yelled from the poolside. She had a beer in hand and held a beer out for Alex. This part definitely confused Alex. This was so unlike her sister. Maddy never drinks.

"Hey yeah sorry. I spoke to my secretary and had to make some arrangements for the next few days since I will be going in late or working from home. And then I got a call from my doctor confirming my appointment for tomorrow. It totally slipped my mind." 

Maddy handed the beer to Alex and asked: "doctor? why? Is everything okay?" She looked genuinely concerned. 

Alex smiled gently. "Oh no it's just a routine check up. No worries. So...what's with the beer?" 

Maddy raised her shoulders as a sign to show: "no idea". She then put her beer down, took off her dress, revealing her bikini and jumped in the pool, causing water to be splashed towards Alex who laughed. She also took off her dress and joined Maddy in the pool. They started swimming laps back to back and after a few rounds, they finally stopped. Maddy sat up on the side of the pool and took off her swimming goggles breathlessly. Alex joined her in as well. She was really nauseous at this point. 

"Sis, are you ok?" Maddy asked.

Alex smiled weakly and said not to worry. Maddy got up and took the two beers back and handed Alex's back to her. After a few minutes of silence of drinking their beers, Maddy broke down.

Alex was surprised. "Hey what's wrong?" But she didn't push it. She just waited expectantly, for Maddy to recover." 

Maddy curled up her legs and hugged them to her chest. She wasn't even trying to stop the tears. Alex got up and opened the cabinet next to the pool and took out the box of tissues and brought them over to Maddy. Then she sat next to her again. She didn't try to comfort her as she would've if it were her. Alex's Mandala knew that this was exactly not what Maddy needed then. After a few minutes, Maddy finally calmed down and took a few tissues out of the box and wiped her tears and blew her nose. 

"Thanks. I'm sorry...I don't know what's gotten into me. The pain...it's just too much."

Alex waited for her to continue and when she didn't she responded: "I know. You don't have to be sorry sis. It's hard to go through that. I can't even imagine what you've been through these two years."

Maddy quickly responded to that: "no you don't understand. All this time, I thought Fred was going to come to his senses and put his gambling ways behind him and come to restart our marriage. But just last week, I received the divorce papers, which means, it's over. It's really over. I didn't expect that. I was willing to overlook everything as soon as he returned. I was even willing to overlook what happened, all the girls, all the gambling." Maddy turned to Alex and implored: "I was even willing to accept him in his Mandala! I had decided I would do the surgery and get the Mandala in me...for him you know? I wanted so badly for us to be okay again. All this time....I still had hope. But when I saw the papers, I just...everything...all my hope was torn apart right in front of my eyes." Maddy broke down again. This time, without Alex doing anything, Maddy cried into her arms. With that, Alex hugged her sister back, and cried with her.

The two sisters cried in each other's arms for a few minutes. When they started to calm down and Alex opened her eyes, she was herself again. Her Mandala was just...gone. She got up suddenly. 

"What's wrong sis?" Maddy asked, sniffing.

Alex ran to the bathroom, without answering. She threw up in the toilet. Maddy ran after her. She saw that the door was open and knocked on the door gently.

"Sis, are you okay? What's wrong?" She heard Alex throwing up in the toilet and decided to wait outside for her to give her some privacy. After a few minutes, Maddy heard the toilet flush and the faucet turn on. Inside, Alex washed her face and turned the water off. Her eyes were still teary in the mirror. She wondered what had happened. She took out a paper towel and wiped her face and mouth. She had noticed that her vomit was a bit bloody but she decided not to give it too much thought. With that, she opened the door. 

"Sis, what happened? Are you okay? What happened?" Alex didn't respond. She went over to the pool side to take her towel. She wrapped herself in her towel for a bit and shivered into it. Maddy was still asking her something. Alex couldn't hear her. She could tell Maddy was saying something but her body was cold as ice. She looked towards her sister and then everything went black.
---------

An hour and forty five minutes later, Alex opened her eyes in the hospital. Her parents were sitting by her bed, worried. 

"Do you remember what happened?" A man asked and Alex turned toward the voice, to see a man with a white gown look down at him, who could only be the doctor. 

Alex responded: "yes." She was feeling faint and tried to get up. The doctor put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. "You still need to rest," the doctor implored.

Alex looked towards her parents. Maddy took her hand. "We were so worried about you," and smiled at her.

Alex faintly smiled back. 

"I need to speak with Alex alone for a bit. Can you please step out for a few minutes?" The doctor asked everyone. Her parents complied along with Maddy who finally released Alex's hand and walked out with her parents.

When they closed the door, the doctor turned to Alex: 

"It looks like you've used up your Mandala."

Alex was surprised to hear the doctor say that. She turned to him, shocked. 

"I'm your doctor; in terms of emergency, it is mandatory to talk about it." the doctor responded to Alex's shocked face. Alex nodded in response, to let the doctor continue.

"I checked your records and it seems like you have been using up your Mandala limits. The body can't handle the Mandala intrusion for so long. We've had a lot of cases like yours exactly the past few months. Patients went hours and sometimes even days with their Mandalas without switching for more than an hour awake time."

Alex replied, faintly: "But what's wrong with that? I mean...what could happen? Why is that a problem?"

The doctor grimaced and responded: "It could be deadly Alex. We had a patient just a month back, who went one straight month with his Mandala without switching over once and had a brain aneurysm while asleep, causing a stroke that immediately killed him in his sleep. Now, I didn't want to speak about this in front of your family due to patient confidentiality. In any case, I am going to have to prescribe you to stay away from your Mandala for at least a month. And when you do start to even contact your Mandala, you have to make sure you do it once a week and then slowly if you want to switch over to your Mandala, start small. Just make sure you are only in your Mandala for an hour maximum or if you are in your Mandala for longer, you have to make sure you are away from it for twice that long."

Alex was shocked to hear this. "But doctor. You don't understand. I can't deal with my parents. I just...they're visiting this entire week. You've got to give me something....maybe some pills? Something that really works!"

"Alex, I can't just prescribe you pills. You have to see your own regular physician first and get recommended to a psychotherapist and..."

Alex raised her voice this time: "Bullshit! What the hell is a Mandala good for? If I can't use it exactly in this time that I need it so much? What the fuck?" 

Her parents suddenly were back in the room, asking what's wrong?? Alex stayed quiet. She did not want her parents to find her out. The doctor responded this time: "It's nothing. It was a minor dehydration. I was just recommending Alex to take a few days off from work."

Alex nodded in unison and turned to her parents: "That's right. We were just arguing about another matter...political if you will! Anyway, thanks so much for bringing me here guys. I think I'm ready to go." Alex tried to get up again, this time the doctor didn't try to stop her, but she fell back on her own, and she started to have a nose bleed. She tried to wipe her nose but Maddy rushed to give her a tissue, noticing the blood. 

"I think it would beneficial for you to stay the night here. It seems like it was a mild state but it's still best for you to take time to heal." He turned to her parents when he said that. "I'm going to get the nurse here to clean that up for you." He said to Alex. 

And with that, he walked out. Marilyn and Maximus followed the doctor out to ask more about the after-care, probably. Maddy stayed with Alex. 

Moonrails....!

"Hey, sweetie. your mom and I are pretty hungry. I think we should get started on that barbecue!"

Alex looked up from the paper and smiled. "Sure dad. Everything is ready for you guys. Did you rest well?"

"Yeah I think I did nap a bit. So what happened to that guy? Is he joining us or what?"

Alex smiled sadly at his dad and said: "No it doesn't look like he's going to make it. He said to go on without him. Maybe next time you guys come." And with that she folded up the paper and calmly passed her dad to the kitchen.

Maximus frowned a bit but decided not to overthink it. If anything, he was glad. He was really looking forward to spending this time for the family to get together, especially the two sisters. It's time they work things out between each other. Maddy didn't let it show but it was obvious she felt very lonely, especially after that bastard threw her out. Alex can be a great comfort for her. Maximus was in his own head, thinking about the possibility for this family reunion to become a true family reunion and walked back in with these thoughts. 
------

Moonrails 

Matt spoke loudly and clearly to the speaker. And just like that, the door to the building opened and Matt drove in with his Jaguar 4000, making the engine sound, dramatizing the entire effect. He had been given the car at the airport by the company representatives. Matt was so excited by the sight that he didn't even rush to get the code to his new home. He wanted to get into that car and start driving off already. 

"You will follow this address, which is already set in the system of the car. When you reach the building, drive up to the gate and say the code, loudly and clearly." The man had a thick Arabic accent when he spoke. He was wearing a long black coat and dark shades. 

Matt nodded quickly, compliant as ever, and waited for the car keys.

The man reached into his pocket and took a package out and gave it to Matt. "This package has the password in it. It is touch sensitive, which only reacts to your DNA. Good luck." And with that, the heavy accented man turned to walk away.

"No--but wait. How do I drive this car? I think you forgot the keys? Is it already in or...?" Matt looked inside briefly to look for the keys but it looked like it was off and no sign of the keys. 

"You will not need keys for this car. This car has already been programmed to only respond to your touch and voice." When Matt still looked confused, the man showed him and taught him to say his name first to the car, and the car automatically opened its doors. Matt got in and the man explained that there was no need for keys because his voice acted as the keys to the car. Matt sat down in the car and said, in a commanding voice, drive and the car started and started following the directions to his destination. Matt sat back, took out the champagne that was made available for him and started drinking from the bottle. 

When Matt's car parked itself in the driveway, Matt got out to peer at the building in front of him. It was magnificent. It must've been at least 10 stories high. That's not nearly as tall as most buildings but all of this belonged to him. He walked up to the front door and opened the door casually as the apartment, was DNA-specific as was the car. He ran in like a little boy to explore. He spotted a scooter that he assumed was a way to get around the building easily. 

The building wasn't like traditional buildings at all. In fact, it seemed like it was 10 stories high but it was actually 7 floors. There were two elevators on each side of the building. Other than the main front door, everything else were glass windows. The first two floors were just what looked like garages. On the third floor, the elevator door opened to the gym area with full equipment of cardio and weight training machines, studio with bars all around and yoga mats, a basketball net and many other sports equipments. There were also a spa sauna and showers/bath area. The fourth floor opened to a beautiful flat that included the kitchen area, bathrooms, and lounging areas. The fifth floor opened to the office area with a long conference table, desks, computers, etc. The sixth floor opened to what looked like another lounge/party area, with a full bar on the side. The seventh floor was the bedroom. The view was amazing as it overlooked the great Dubai area. Matt noticed that there was also another button in the elevator that led to the rooftop. He pushed it and was pleasantly surprised to see that it led to the most awesome area of all, the pool. Matt wondered how he would ever be able to use this pool in this cold. "It's too damn cold." Suddenly, without warning, from all around the area, doors started coming down, glass doors to be exact and heat was dispensed and the area was suddenly hot, closed to the cold but it seemed impossible because the glass that surrounded the area was so thin that it seemed like it wasn't even there.

With that, Matt smiled, took off his clothes and jumped into the pool.
--------

"Hi babe. I'm so sorry it took me so long to call you. You would not believe what I've been through all this time. And the worst part is, I missed you. I really really missed you. Please forgive me. Can you forgive me?"

Matt had already taken a warm shower after the amazing swim he had and was sitting in the lounge area and having a glass of the highest quality scotch. He also switched to his Mandala before he made the call. 

"Hi sweetie. I know. It's okay. You don't have to worry about me. I think I'm going to be okay this weekend." Alex was still letting her Mandala in control of her. 

The day had planned out very well organized, as Alex had hoped. She laughed to the jokes that her dad had said, helped out with the barbecue and even talked to her sister for hours. She almost wanted to come back and she even did for a few minutes only to be overcome by emotion again and let her Mandala back in. Every time she saw her sister looking her way, that guilt just crept back in. Thankfully, no one was suspicious of her being on her Mandala though. It was already past midnight when Matt had finally called her. She had just returned to her body when she got the called but knew that if she answered on her own behalf, she wouldn't be able be the calm person that he needs now. So she had switched back right away. 

Matt wasn't surprised to hear Alex's calm voice. If anything, that's how Mandalas work. They understand each other. They may have that magic effect on regular human beings, but to each other, they area logical and they understand each other. "I'm so glad you are feeling good my dear. How are your parents doing? Did you guys have a good barbecue?"

And with that, the pair had a calm and peaceful conversation until they finally said goodbye to each other and Matt turned off his phone. He called back to his Mandala and opened his eyes to be himself. He then called the special hotline that was made available for him to order in. Except that this was a different kind of delivery. Along with his dinner, he was able to order in a woman strictly for his own pleasures. Thirty minutes later, and Asian arrived with freshly home-made Ramen soup. She delivered the soup in the exact attire he had requested and as soon as she arrived, she put the soup down on the table and bended and waited, expectantly...
-------

Alex opened the door after it rang several times. It was Fred. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, those same boxers that he had worn that night.

"Fred, what are you doing here? Are you crazy? My parents...Maddy is here!"

Fred just smiled and moved towards Alex, who stepped back. She tried to cover herself with her scarf only to notice that she, too, wasn't wearing anything. She looked at Fred who was hungrily smiling and checking out her body. She quickly tried to cover her body and looked for an escape. 

Fred stopped and said: "You want this as much as I do." And then he pushed himself on her.

Alex woke up with a start. She was only dreaming. It was only a dream. But damn, it seemed so real. She looked over to her side. Maddy was still asleep. She got up and went to the master bathroom.....
-------

I'm trying to write more this week. I'm pushing myself to add to the writing time for myself. I mentioned this in my last post--that I'm trying to write 90 minutes a day, instead of 60. I have to say, especially after being out of the habit for 3 days, today it was particularly difficult to get myself to write for even an hour let alone an hour and a half. I finally managed an hour and fifteen minutes. I know I'm probably just making excuses but I'm in my campus library and it is just freezing. I think it is in improvement though and tomorrow, I will push to get to the full 90 minute mark. Also, my goal is to try to give an ending to this story by the end of this week, on Saturday, Nov. 5th!

Morning Routine

I've been constantly hearing about the importance of having a "morning routine" and sticking to it. First, it was during Insane Productivity's module 8 by Darren Hardy. He argued that yes, perhaps throughout the day, many unexpected things may happen and deadlines may arise etc that may cause you to not have time to work on your art or your "thing" or your "vital few" as he describes it. Perhaps, for me, that's writing. In any case, Darren Hardy argues that the only things we are in control of are our two "book ends"---right after bed and right before bed i.e. morning ritual and night ritual (going to bed ritual).

In fact, I've started having this "going to bed ritual" for a while--the whole turn off technology 1-2 hours before bed, read for 30 minutes, and prepare for the next day. Sometimes I cook during that time if we don't have any food left for the next day's lunch and sometimes I just read some poetry (in addition to my 30-minute book reading). On the other hand, I haven't been able to establish much of a morning routine. Well, I lied. I do have a morning routine, but it's not one that I'm consciously trying to do because it has just become a habit. However, the problem is, that I don't do it every day maybe because I never sat down and thought, I need to have a morning routine and here's what I should do as I did about before going to bed. I have to say, since only a few weeks ago, I had very crazy mornings as I had to get up, get ready, drive my husband to Santa Monica (because he didn't have his license yet) and find a cafe or something to sit down and do my work. If I were lucky enough to wake up before him, I was able to make some coffee and maybe do some writing before we drove off.

Even now, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we leave the house around 6-6:15 typically so as I wake up around 6-6:30 on a typical day, it makes it hard to establish a morning routine that is the same every day. Thus, I was thinking, maybe I don't have to completely give up. Perhaps I can still have a morning routine for all the days except Tues & Thurs. In addition, on at least one weekend day, I typically don't put an alarm for myself and sometimes even both days if I was up late the night before. In this way, I think it is safe to say that I can establish a morning routine for myself for Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Here is how I am thinking my morning routine should go:

6/6:30: Wake up.
Bathroom, wash face, contemplate (10 minutes)
Make coffee, turn my laptop on and go right into blogger.com (10 minutes)
Drink coffee & do 90-min writing (I'm going to push myself to write 90 minutes a day instead of 1 hour) (90 minutes)
Make/Have breakfast & watch DarrenDaily & check emails etc & then go about my day really

The idea is that I control the first 2 hours I awaken and the last 2 hours before I go to sleep. Let's not forget that this will take discipline, but I am aware and I am prepared. It has taken a lot of discipline for me to turn off my phone for 2 hours before sleep but I'm a better woman because of it. Thus, writing, which is my passion in life, is something I need to improve more and more so I must establish a routine to get right on that. Oh and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I am unable to write for 90 minutes before I even leave the house, I plan on doing my 90 minute writing right after my class at 11am-12:30. I think it's a good plan.

Starting tomorrow, I will be routine girl! 

Karan Johar, Why?

If you know me personally, you know that I. Love. Bollywood movies. Like, I just get such a high on Bollywood movies. It used to be that I would only watch movies that starred Shahrukh Khan, but then when I expanded my horizons a bit onto other great actors, I was pleasantly surprised. As of now, I'm not particularly obsessed with Bollywood movies as much as I used to be anyway in college, but from time to time, I definitely enjoy sitting through a 3-hour fun-fest of singing and dancing and love and beauty and colorfulness!

Tonight, I finally watched Ae Dil Mushkil Hai. May I just say I only decided to pay the $13 (a fee that I find too expensive to watch a movie in the theater and so avoid the theater most of the time but made an exception this time because of the reason I'm about to describe now) to watch this movie because it is written and directed by Karan Johar. Karan Johar is sort of like a rockstar in the Bollywood world. Most of the movies that Shahrukh Khan and other Bollywood heroines have shined in are written and directed by him. Let me rephrase that: all movies that Karan has made except this one and one other one, has starred Shahrukh Khan. However, this one, did not, which is okay. I've accepted the fact that Shahrukh Khan cannot star in every bollywood movie. In fact, another favorite actor of mine, Ranbir Khan starred in this one opposite Anushka Sharma, who is also a pretty good actress. Yet, the movie was one of those Bollywood movies where it just went on and on and on and on and you kept wondering...when will it end?

It was sort of this cycle that repeated over and over again. You fall in love with someone; he doesn't love you back so your heart is broken. Then, you befriend someone who falls in love with you and you don't love him back because you love your ex. And then, that guy's heart is broken. That guy befriends another girl who falls in love with him but he doesn't love her back because of that other girl who he loved. And you just wonder...at some point, someone is going to realize that this is all just so stupid and unrealistic and at some point, you should just give in and be a little realistic and just make do with what is right in front of you but no this cruel cycle just keeps on happening and no one's to say: why? why? Or at least, break the cycle! Not the girl, not the guy, not ever.

What I liked about the movie:

Shahrukh Khan's appearance in all his glory...who wouldn't love that?
Aishwarya Rai, back in Bollywood...I've been awaiting this day!
And of course, the music. 

What I didn't like about the movie:
The plot

In any case, it was a nice change of scenery. Usually, Hamed and I spend the weekends locked in our apartment watching shows or movies or just doing our work. Sometimes we even dare to hang out and go sight-seeing or hiking which is what we've been trying to do at least one day of the weekend. This weekend, yesterday, we hung out in the downtown LA area. I'm glad I watched this movie and I think I would've thought I'm missing so much if I didn't see it because it's Karan Johar! So I definitely don't regret watching this movie. But I think I'm going to be fine for a while, not watching Bollywood movies...at least until the next Shahrukh Khan movie!