Dreams Tell All

Do dreams really tell all?

I had a rather disturbing dream last night and the last few nights that woke me up in the middle of the night and it made it very hard for me to go back to sleep and in turn to wake up this morning. I’ve also been feeling very tired lately…I think I’m coming down with something. So perhaps my weird dreams are caused by how I feel physically.

There are so many different interpretations about dreams. In some cultures, dreams do tell all. For instance, in the Iranian culture, they say if you dream that you die, it is probably the opposite in reality and it means that you will live a long healthy life. On the other hand, in other cultures, it could be considered a very bad omen if you dream you or someone you know dies. As a kid, I’ve always also heard whenever I had really weird dreams that it is probably because I ate too much the night before. Well, last night, I only had half a tuna club sandwich (like the small one you get from 7-11) and a platter of fruits. I didn’t go to sleep hungry but I certainly did not go to sleep with a full stomach.

Then there’s the concept of dreaming and its relation with Psychology and how our minds create our dreams after seeing or thinking about certain topics throughout the day when we are awake. At times, we are completely oblivious to what we perceive and record in our subconscious mind as sometimes a quick glance at a billboard can manifest itself in a dream that we later have that night or even other nights. There’s certainly more to this—for instance, the idea of lucid dreaming and being able to awaken while dreaming to control your dream somehow rather than just seeing it unfold.

In the supernatural world, dreams are visions that certain people are gifted with having to be able to see into the future. One can dream about his house collapsing, which could mean a possible earthquake or much more dramatic than that. Some even believe that you can travel from your dream to another’s dream with the power of your mind. There are certain cultures and religions in which it is believed that certain people are truly gifted with an ability to be able to connect with those who have already left the earth (passed away), that is, those with the purest of hearts.

I, for one, have always been fascinated with dreams. There have been times though not often where I dreamt about something and in some ways, elements in that dreams manifested itself into reality. Sometimes it took years between the dream and reality to find each other. I’ve also had dreams that I came to interpret as things I’ve thought about most or even gave me an understanding about how I truly feel or think. In most cases though, I just dismiss my dreams as the figments of my imagination and though really good or really horrible, with an “it’s just a dream” I go on with my day. 

Keystone Habit

In the past couple of days, I keep hearing this concept in my instructional material. I first heard it as the main subject of Darren Daily's Tuesday piece that I actually listened to yesterday. Then, later at night, I came across it again in my reading. I recently began reading the book: "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" by Charles Duhigg. I have been looking forward to reading this book for a while and I can already tell this will provide a great learning opportunity for me.

In the book, Charles Duhigg begins with a story about a woman who was able to change a series of "bad habits" to "good habits" and was in turn able to change the course of her life. Interestingly, she only focused in on one "bad habit" and that was to quit smoking--her keystone habit. By making this one small change in her life, she was able to create a ripple effect that caused her to replace a set of bad habits like not exercising and complaining with good ones like running marathons and being thankful.

In the world of business, both Duhigg and Darren Hardy point out the work of Paul o'Neill. He was a radical CEO of Alcoa, a manufacturing company that made aluminum. In his first term as the chief executive operator, he announced that he will solely focus on making Alcoa the safest company to work for. Although all investors and consultants where aghast at his remark and promise and even pulled out their money from the company, within a year, Alcoa did increase its safety in that "lost work days" due to injury per 100 workers dropped from 1.86 to 0.125! Along with that, the profits at Alcoa hit a record high!

Business Insider correspondent, Drake Baer also wrote about this phenomenon that Duhigg emphasizes in his book: "Focusing on that one critical metric, or what Duhigg refers to as 'keystone habit,' created a change that rippled through the whole whole culture. Duhigg says the focus on worker safety led to an examination of an inefficient manufacturing process -- one that made for suboptimal aluminum and danger for workers."

I've already started the thinking process and discussion with my husband about what our "keystone habit" could be and how it can ripple through our lives and the changes it can make in it. Right now I am in the phase of "which one will effect the other? : Will I work out more if I eat less or will I eat less if I work out more?" Perhaps its something even more fundamental than that. Already, I feel like by adopting this one habit: of writing everyday, it has created a ripple effect of leading me to turn off technology after dinner (by around 8p), reading for half an hour before bed, preparing my meals beforehand (especially bulk cooking), tracking my performance and striving to put in more hours of concentrated work per day.

Maybe the ripple is already taking place...

"Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill

It seems like this week is my "week of completions" as I have completed another book, this time on my kindle, called: "Think and Grow Riches" by Napoleon Hill. Reading this book was quite a journey for me--I have learned a lot and I am ready to apply it in my life though I must say I have already begun!

As many success mentors of our time may agree, Napoleon Hill is the pioneer of researching the science of personal development and self-improvement. He spent 25 years of his life interviewing and researching successful people at his time (think early 1900s) after meeting once with Andrew Carnegie, the richest and most powerful man at the time. He provided so much value in this field during this time. He was the first editor of Success Magazine, he wrote multiple best-selling books in this field, his most well-known one being: "Think and Grow Rich".

Without further due, I would like to just outline his "Thirteen Steps to Riches" both for my sake and giving you an idea of what this amazing book is about:

Step 1: DESIRE, the starting point of all achievement. In this step, Napoleon advises that one must have a clear desire for riches. More importantly, it is important to understand the difference between "desire" and "wishing" or "wanting". If one desires something, mentally can imagine having that particular goal or object, then that desire will drive him to do everything he possibly can to succeed. In this way, even nature and the universe works with you to bring to you what you desire most.

Step 2: FAITH, visualization of and belief in attainment of desire. It is clear what faith means...when things get hard or may seem impossible, one must practice faith and belief that success is not that far from sight. How to develop faith? According Napoleon Hill, "FAITH is a state of mind which may be induced, or created, by affirmation or repeated instructions to the subconscious mind, through the principle of auto-suggestion."

Step 3: AUTO-SUGGESTION, a process in which one should keep reminding and telling himself that "it will come to be" repeatedly and/or "you've got this...you will succeed...you have it in you..." so that eventually, you start believing it and your faith gets stronger than ever. In other words, auto-suggestion is self-suggestion. It is a "self-administered stimuli which reaches one's mind through the five senses.

Step 4: SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGE: personal experiences or observations. Napoleon differentiates between two types of "knowledge" in this chapter: one being "general" knowledge and the other being "specialized knowledge." It was very interesting to read this particular chapter because it totally reminds me of Darren Hardy's principle that one must only focus on his ONE or TWO things that makes him stand out in the competition rather than try to learn everything, because in the end, it is your expertise in that ONE or TWO things that will lead to your success not your expert knowledge on the latest news in politics, global warming, celebrities, latest technology, etc. Even so with "specialized knowledge", one must understand that knowledge alone is not the key. "KNOWLEDGE will not attract money, unless it is organized, and intelligently directed, through practical PLANS OF ACTION, to the DEFINITE END of accumulation of money."

Step 5: IMAGINATION, the workshop of the mind, is another word for "creativity". In this chapter, Napoleon provides examples of some of the world's most well-known inventors and how they used their imagination or creativity to invent electricity (Thomas Edison), means to fly (Wright Brothers), and so much more. Napoleon also distinguishes between "synthetic imagination" in which "one may arrange old concepts, ideas, or plans into new combinations" and "creative imagination" in which "the finite mind of man has direct communication with Infinite Intelligence. It is the faculty through which 'hunches' and 'inspirations' are received. It is by this faculty that all basic, or new ideas are handed over to man." Interestingly, scientists are only realizing these two different types of creative problem solving today when Napoleon Hill had already figured it out all those years ago.

Step 6: ORGANIZED PLANNING: the crystallization of desire into action. As mentioned in step 4 about knowledge not being enough to accumulate riches but that one needs to have a definite plan of action--this step focuses on the organization of a specific plan to accumulate riches. The success mentors today may agree that these are your "objectives" and your "strategies", things you must plan after you have your "goal" in mind. In this chapter, Napoleon also discusses the most important attributes of a leader. His descriptions are so dead-on that it makes me wonder why it has taken so long for it to actually take effect that only recently this forward way of thinking about leadership and management is practiced. He also discusses how one may "plan" when acquiring a new job---creating resume, profile, cover letter, how to interview, etc. Though these parts may not have been as strict back then, it definitely is important today, even for the most basic job.

Step 7:  DECISION or mastery of procrastination. This particular chapter was just such a breakthrough for me. He is so on point about how being a decisive person is important in this path. He outlines examples from our time, about our leaders in particular, past presidents and war heroes, and how they had to make decisions on the spot and those decisions were so critical that if wrong, it could've changed history. Being able to make a decision and stick to it is one of the most important things one must master when in the path of self development. One cannot simply make a decision and change his mind everyday or every month. Once that decision is made, he must do everything in his power in that "organized planning" kind of way to achieve his desire rather than procrastinate making that decision in the first place.

Step 8: PERSISTENCE--the sustained effort necessary to induce faith. Persistence is one of my core values and it is something I truly believe in. If one practices persistence in anything he will achieve results. It is only through continuous persistence that one can truly succeed in anything in life. Interestingly, in this chapter, Napoleon Hill uses Prophet Muhammad as an example to show proof that by the act of persistence, one can truly acquire anything in life--even change the minds of millions about God and His power, even without the power of "miracle".

Step 9: Power of the MASTER MIND, defined as the "coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose." What I understand from this particular step is that in this journey of accumulating riches, one must surround himself with people who are in this together with the same goals. Perhaps this is another way of reflecting the idea that Jim Rohn discusses when he quotes: "you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Thus, these five people are your "master mind group." If you choose to spend your time with people who are seeking the same ideals as you, then you will be on your way towards your goals. However, if you spend time with people who are negative and pessimistic when it comes to accumulating riches, then perhaps sooner or later, you will start to think like them. Another way I can interpret this idea of "master mind" is when you have your own company, you must choose your human capital carefully and to the point. Even if you don't have specialized knowledge about a specific procedures that needs to be done, you can hire people who does have this specialized knowledge and with your strength as a leader and their specialized knowledge of doing the work right, you will surely succeed.

Step 10: The mystery of SEX TRANSMUTATION. In this particular step, Napoleon claims that the desire for sex is one of the most powerful desires every man or woman experiences. Thus, if people can just somehow transmute and translate that desire into working towards their goals, then they will surely succeed. I would definitely agree, though I'm not sure if this is the most powerful. The author also continues to say that most men only become truly successful late in their forties or even fifties because they have not yet learned the mystery of "sex transmutation". They spend their time over-indulging themselves in their desire rather than using its power to persist in their goals. This part may be true...

Step 11: The SUBCONSCIOUS MIND being the connecting link between having a desire and achieving it. This step follows up on the idea of "auto-suggestion" and how much control we do have on our subconscious mind (even if not entirely) and how we can use our control to make it believe and have faith that it will happen. Basically, Napoleon suggests that if you don't proactively think your way to success and by using the practice of auto-suggestion, making yourself believe and have faith that you will succeed, the opposite will just naturally happen because our natural instinct to think the counterpart. Our natural instinct is to think that we will fail or worry anxiously that we will fail due to our fears. The seven major negative emotions: fear, jealousy, hatred, revenge, greed, superstition, and anger leads our subconscious minds to become pessimistic about our endeavors which only serves as an obstacle to reaching our goals. On the other hand, if one actively works to practice the seven major positive emotions: desire, faith, love, sex, enthusiasm, romance, and hope, then we can create a shift in the way we think in our subconscious mind.

Step 12: THE BRAIN, a broadcasting and receiving station for thought, is possessed by every human and is capable of "picking up vibrations of thought which are being released by other brains." The idea of thought vibrations is also a very modern way of thinking that I would have never guessed that all those years ago, Napoleon Hill could've pointed it out. In fact, thought vibrations are supposedly ideas that have been brought here by the East. I think this paragraph summarizes this step in the best way:

"The result of sex transmutation, is the increase of the rate of vibration of thoughts to such a pitch that the Creative Imagination becomes highly receptive to ideas, which it picks up from the ether. On the other hand, when the brain is vibrating at a rapid rate, it not only attracts thoughts and ideas released by other brains through the medium of the ether, but it gives to one's own thoughts that 'feeling' which is essential before those thoughts will be picked up and acted upon by one's subconscious mind."

Step 13: THE SIXTH SENSE: the door to the temple of wisdom. Napoleon starts this chapter with: "THE 'thirteenth' principle is known as the SIXTH SENSE, through which Infinite Intelligence may, and will communicate voluntarily, without any effort from or demands by the individual." I believe Napoleon is referring to God when mentioning "Infinite Intelligence" throughout his book. He goes on to insist that once one has fully mastered the other 12 steps, then he will be able to understand this principle, the "apex" of his philosophy.

In these 13 steps, Napoleon have used his knowledge in philosophy and psychology, his own experiences, and the accumulation of all that he has learned from other leaders to summarize the steps that one must take to become successful. I think it is so simple to substitute any of your goals here by following these 13 steps, it doesn't have to just be about accumulating riches. Perhaps at the time that he wrote this book, there was just so much fear of poverty, being right after the stock market crash, that this title was just more attractive to his reader. Now, many years later, I believe his principles are just monumental and can be practiced when trying to achieve any kind of goal.

God bless his soul as Napoleon Hill has truly added so much value in this science by his work. Thank you and rest in peace.

"Know it all" or overconfident?

I finally completed listening to the audio book , "No Excuses, the Power of Self-Discipline" written and read by Brian Tracy today. I started listening to it 2-3 weeks ago. I have a long commute to and from work everyday so I have took to utilizing that time to listening to instructional material. I have listened to speeches, lectures, talks, etc. by many different success mentors including Darren Hardy, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Tony Robins, etc. This particular audio book, though very valuable in its nature, just dragged on. 

Whether it was the monotonous voice of Brian Tracy himself or the material in the book, I was just hoping that it finished already. In one way, I didn't want to set it aside and not complete it when I have already listened to 5 hours of 7 hours worth of audio. But then, I began to feel that this guy seems to be giving an opinion about all areas of life. I can understand being disciplined to read everyday, to exercise everyday, to financially practice saving, living on only a percentage of your income and saving the rest for your capital, investment, financial development, etc. but do you really have to also give your opinion about what kind of spouse I choose to marry? Or what kinds of food I eat or what kinds of exercises and when I do them during the day? Is that really necessary? Is it just me, or is this guy a bit overconfident in his knowledge of the material?

In my opinion, I think though he may have valuable knowledge about each of these areas, it just takes away from his credibility to stick to advising pupils on every area of their lives. Perhaps if someone hires him for the sole purpose of having him as a coach for every area of his or her life, then sure. He can comment on who to date and who not to date, whether he should do aerobic or strength training and what time of day he should do it. But then he has written a book, critically acclaimed and truly an excellent guide to incorporating self-discipline in all areas of our lives. I definitely learned a lot from this book and I am glad I read/listened to it. However, I can't say I care too much about his overconfident way of putting the readers down to a very small level who don't even know their left from right and telling/brainwashing them about how to act, how to eat, how to talk, how to listen, how to be, how to breathe... (he even ended the book with a chapter on meditation and Buddhism!

Brian Tracy definitely knows a lot in his field---what is that exactly again? Because I'm certain it's lost somewhere in all the "expertise" he had to give in every area of one's life---and he has excellent insight when it comes to becoming financially independent, managing time effectively and efficiently, and achieving overall happiness by mastering self-discipline. On the one hand, maybe he just knows his audience and he's written this book and many more to appeal to that audience alone. On the other hand, why can't you just stick to one area and become an expert on just that one area and expand on it? All I can say is: I'm disappointed. 

Sharing My Stories

I have been writing for quite a while now. My very first journal, I bought in Middle School. I was in the 6th grade to be exact. I had just come to America a year prior and already the desire to write was floating within me. So I convinced my parents to buy a journal for me. I still have that journal. I remember I used to struggle with English and my Farsi was not that strong either so I just wrote with the little knowledge I had. I also gave that book to others in my class to sign--sort of like a yearbook. That journal was for 2 years--6th and 7th grade. I remember my second journal very well. I was at the mall with my dad and sister, and my mom was in Iran at the time. I saw this beautiful journal that was very thick and blue (my favorite color at the time) with sparkles and picture of a dolphin and a sunset on the front. I fell in love with it and begged my dad to buy it. It was kind of pricey--well, it seemed really pricey to me at the time. It was $10. I guess $10 is not a lot to pay, especially for a journal that I lasted me all throughout high school. Nontheless, it seemed like a lot to me.

Then I went through different phases as my writing got better and better. I went through phases of writing everyday on to writing once a week or writing everyday for a week and then suddenly not writing for another. But I can say my writing really improved after I filled the pages in my journal. I wrote about mundane things that happened in school, I wrote about my messy and complicated "love life", I wrote about fights I had with my mom and sister, I wrote about my teachers, I wrote about my friends, I wrote about Iran, I wrote about my desires, and I wrote about writing. Right until I wrote on to the last page of that diary, I felt a high every time I wrote and I felt relieved and calm. Writing has always had that effect on me and it still does. I did get another journal in college in which I wrote more promising philosophical statements about my beliefs and my aspirations.

I also started writing poetry when I was in high school, my first year or maybe even my last year of middle school. I remember I had this floppy disk that contained all my poetry--100+ poems that I had written either in class or at home or during lunch breaks. It's been years since I "regularly" wrote again, until now in this blog. I was so excited about writing and I was ready to share my writing with the world, and by world, I mean my world. However, now, I am not so sure about that. I feel like I've never shared my writing with my family as journals are truly confidential. This blog is open to anyone who can access it to read it and for some reason, I have no problem with that. In fact--I invite it.

However, it seems like a completely different story to invite my family and close friends to read the blog. I'm suddenly so apprehensive--perhaps due to Darren Hardy's vision and tips about sculpting my personal brand during every blog post or Facebook comment. It has suddenly dawned on me--what is my personal brand? Does my blog posts show it? Should I be changing the way I write? Should I be concentrating on what kinds of materials I write rather than using this blog like a digital journal and recording me thoughts, my feelings, my stories... I need to have a direction. Where am I going with this? Where am I going with my writing? Should I be going anywhere?

I originally started writing everyday as a way to practice my writing skills. In this way, the material or content didn't matter because it was just for the purpose of practicing my writing. 50 posts later, I do feel like my writing has already improved. And just like most human desires, it's not enough any more. I want to get more out of this writing experience and perhaps have most of my writing tie in together and follow the same theme--the theme being my personal brand.

Make It or Break It

This past weekend, I took a little vacation while cat-sitting for a friend. My husband and I experienced living in Santa Monica for 3 days and yeah we are hooked! Who doesn't like the beautiful weather, the close proximity to the beach, the city-like feel of its streets, the all around relaxed feel of this place?

My husband make a remark last night that really got me thinking. "We should be living in this kind of place while we're still young." It personified the very myth about how it usually goes--you work hard as a young graduate from college, live in crappy apartments until you can finally get that pay raise and move in to your ideal house. And of course, if you do even think of having kids, then this whole process will definitely delay. And you will really move in to your "ideal home" well into your thirties and forties.

So what is the solution?

In my opinion, I think this way of thinking or living may or may not still exist today. In fact, I don't think it does exist. It seems like the millennials are either beyond rich in a self-made millionaire kind of way before they even hit 30 (think Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page & Sergey Brin, Evan Spiegel, and so many more) or they are about to hit 30 and they are still too busy traveling the world, partying, or watching the latest episode of "Game of Thrones"--a clear sign that they will not be moving into that "dream house" anytime soon. It seems like there is no balance or "in between". Or perhaps the in-between is the way the generation before us--the baby boomers--were making it.

It seems like that "balanced" way of living is getting farther and farther away with the emergence of technology advancing more and more every day. It seems like you have to either move really fast in order to be as successful or nearing that success factor or choose to live a mediocre life with so many debts and loans--especially student loans drying up your cash flow before it can even reach you.

The good news is, neither me or my husband have any kind of student loans chasing us incessantly and it seems like our little "credit card" issue is being taken care of thanks to some remaining generous wedding gifts. Now, both of us nearing 30, not there yet, have a chance at life finally. And in this age and time, we have a chance to really make it or break it.

Personal Brand

I have recently been pondering my personal brand. In fact, I have taken an online course from Coursera on the subject (which starts on Monday). However, interestingly enough, this past week's Darren Dailies were mostly focused on creating your personal brand. During Wednesday through Friday's daily mentoring sessions, Darren shared "5 Killer Tips for Building Your Best Personal Brand". I'm still taking my time to creating mine, but I can say this tips definitely started the process in my mind. Here are the 5 tips that he shared:

1. Pick your word--select your brand. In this way, you will be able to "live up to your brand." This means how you personify, whatever you do, how you talk, show up, perform, and deliver on every commitment that you make, sculpt it with your brand in mind.

2. Develop your personal brand statement. Who you are, what you do, and whom you serve. This could be as simple as your "Linkedin headline".

3. Package your brand through a story. What is your story? Key stories that define who you are today. Perhaps it could be small stories in your childhood or entertaining ones in your adulthood. Pull stories to promote your brand. Your new "about page".

4. Distribute your brand. Anywhere and everywhere, share your brand, who you serve, what you do, whom you serve, your story. Does your blog, face book, website, marketing pieces--do they all mirror your personal brand?

5. Reinforce your brand. 24/7, 365 day job--live your brand. Live up to your brand, no vacation.

I'm thinking about my brand--I'm still stuck on step number one because I think I'm one thing and then I feel like I can be so much more. I will keep these steps in mind as I complete my Personal Branding course on Coursera--I will update once I do have my brand. In fact, just as step number 4 implies---it will be mirrored in my blog. 

GameChangers 500

Yesterday, I watched a very interesting TEDx talk by Andrew Hewitt. I highly recommend it. I'm going to try my best to summarize it here and tell you about my very favorite new website and resource for researching about different companies, called: "GameChangers 500".

Andrew Hewitt, a success at the business world and author of "Power of Focus for College Students" traveled to Costa Rica to explore his role in "changing the dream of the modern world." There, he met an old man who helped him realize that there were many moments in (3000 years of) history where people felt like the world was going to collapse, but in reality, there were only 4 major "shifts". These big cycles represented a shift in paradigm where the objectives and the world view of the civilization changed. Interestingly, there was a common pattern in these 4 things that happened.

1. The dominant institution shows signs of corruption and collapse.

2. There is a breakthrough in communication technology.

3. The masses rise up or revolt.

4. Game Changers & visionaries emerge to bring forth a new worldview. 

These were the 4 major shifts:

1. Institutionalized Religions: 550-1550

2. Nation States: 1550-1945

3. Multinational Corporations: 1945-2012

4. The New Game: 2012-Beyond

In his research, he realized that yes, there were signs of corruption and collapse--multi-million dollar frauds in corporations, breakthrough in communication---the Internet, the masses rising were the many "Occupied Wall Street" movements happening all over the world, and as for GameChangers & Visionaries--movement of new companies that were purpose-driven rather than profit-driven and redefining success. Thus, this is not the end of an era. It's actually a beginning to a new and exciting era, one where youth can really take a part in. Andrew then realized if we want to showcase success, we need to shift what we showcase as success. The fortune 500 list profiles companies only based on how much money they make...[rather] we need to showcase a different definition of success. Thus, he created this "Game Changers 500" list that showcases a new group of companies that showed the new definition of success. They created these standards and broke them up into 9 badges, fitting into 3 categories:

Objectives 

>Reinvent (stepping outside of the status quo) 

>Impact (using affiliations & cooperations to grow their impact rather than just their profit) 

>Meet the Mission (focused on meeting the mission and not just on revenues)

How We Treat People

>Exceptional Work Environment (creating places where it's fun to work)

>Empowering Employees (realizing that happiness is the new productivity)

>Win-Win-Win (realized success is where everybody wins--themselves, charities, even "competitive" local businesses, in the example of Whole Foods)

How We Treat the Planet

>Earth-friendly offices (how well they keep their office green)

>Replenish the Planet (giving back to the environment and helping it thrive)

>Ecodesign (build their products and services with future generations in mind, meeting incredible standards in sustainabilities) 

All GameChangers companies were united in creating initiatives for all of these 9 badges. In the website, gamechangers500.com, these companies showcased what they did and how they met these 9 success principles. 

I have visited the website already and as I mentioned, I definitely recommend it. It's interesting because I actually have been looking for this "list" without knowing that it actually existed. I have been looking for a place to research companies in my industry where they have a special mission in mind--not just the regular profit-seeking companies. And I am so thankful to Andrew Hewitt and his journey that led to this incredible new list that truly redefines success. 

Sound of the Music

Today, I hit the "snooze" button when my phone-alarm went off. My alarm is set several times in the morning in case I hit the snooze couples of times: 5:45 am, 6 am, 6:10 am, 6:15 am, and 6:20 am. Usually it doesn't go all the way until 6:20 as I usually get up by 5:45 or 6, or between those times. However, today, I just couldn't will myself to get out of bed right away. So I hit the snooze button twice, so it was already past 6 am, when I suddenly heard a soft melody--it was my husband's alarm going off. My husband's alarm is a beautiful Turkish song. So I found myself pleasantly becoming conscious from the music and was able to get out of bed before my third alarm went off.

Music has always had that effect on me. In fact, I always used to set my alarm with songs so that I can wake up to my favorite music. Sometimes, I'm in the mood to wake up to hyper and happy music and sometimes like today, the perfect melody to wake me up is this soft music that slowly draws you in and brings you back to consciousness (from the unconsciousness of sleeping that is). Music has always been such a huge part of my life. I can both calm down when I listen to certain music and I can also get energized and happy. iTunes used to be my source of music-listening, but due to the fact that it just took so much of time to try to download free music online, organize it onto iTunes and then transfer over to my iPhone....and worst of all, it was taking up so much of my disc space on my laptop and I kept getting this error message of: "no space in disk" that I just deleted off all my music (after saving a copy of everything onto my external hard drive that is).

And then, there was Spotify! 

Ant Philosophy

Did you know ants can withstand pressures up to 5,000 times greater than their own body weight?

It is a well known fact that ants carry food on their backs that are way more than their own body weight. I'm sure you have witnessed at least hundreds of ants on your own either as an adult and probably for sure as a kid. And I'm sure that as a kid (or even as an adult) you attempted to block the ant's way, just to have a little fun. And perhaps you noticed that the ant, pausing for an instant when blocked just went the other way. So you blocked that way. And the ant, again, paused for an instant and just took another route. Perhaps you did this for multiple times, and every time, the ant paused for an instant and just took another route.

It's because that's how ants work! They never give up! We, as humans, can learn a lesson or two from ants. Number one, is that ants carry more than their body weight--you can do more than you expect yourself. You are in school full-time and working a part-time job and you also happen to have time to watch all your shows and socialize with your friends and family. Suddenly, you meet someone who is just like you: goes to school full-time, works a part-time job, watches tv, socializes with friends and families and has a child. You already know that having a child and taking care of him or her is not easy work. In fact, it's a full-time job on its own!

As we grow up, our responsibilities grow with us. Every time we are hit with a new responsibility, we don't take it well initially. In fact, we wonder if we would ever have enough time to manage it all! And then, sure enough, within a few weeks, we become a pro at managing this new responsibility. And it's always the same case! No matter how many responsibilities are added to our lives, if we just keep at it, and just like the ant, never give up, (second thing we can learn from ants), we will eventually become a pro at it.

It's no wonder there's this expression called "do or die" because ants abide by it! They will try and try and try and try and try and...try, until they either do or die. 

Turn it off!

Research shows if you turn off technology and hour or two before bed, you will have a much more sound and peaceful sleep. Yet, many have their eyes on the computer screen or phone screen until right before they become unconscious, asleep. I used to be one of those people.

In fact, I was so surprised there would be such a study because I thought, how can I even fall asleep in the first place, if my eyes don’t get tired as they only get tired when looking at the screen for too long. Of course, reading a book at the time seemed so much more difficult for me than just watching my favorite show before bed. Then again, at that time, I didn’t sleep until well into the night like 2 or 3 am and woke up much later during the day. However, I am a new person!

I have been applying disciplined efforts for about a month now to change who I am. I want to become the person who easily turns off technology hours before bed and spends that time contemplating and planning for the following day or just relaxing by reading something or praying or doing some light yoga or meditating or doing a bit of arts and craft. I want to become the person the person who wakes up at 5am without a problem and start my first jam session in the morning right after I write on my blog and have my first cup of coffee. Perhaps I could do some light yoga in the morning when I wake up that early or meditate or clean the house and do laundry. It seems like whenever I wake up early-er, like even if I just wake up at 7am on a weekend day or 6 or 6:30 am on a weekday, I just get so much done.

Now for the past week, I have been experimenting with turning off technology before bed. It has been challenging at times and sometimes impossible since I still have some last minute things to work on the computer or I’m so tired and want to de-stress by watching Friends or just some youtube videos. Although I have reduced my “Friends” time enormously, like one 20-min episode a night versus spending 2-3 hours watching it like before, I still wasn’t happy with myself. I think last week, I managed to “turn off technology” 2 or 3 times. Other days, I either did watch the show or worked on my computer or was on my phone.

On the other hand, due to needing to be in the city (Santa Monica) until 6 or 6:30 at times and the crazy traffic on our way back, we usually get back home by 7:30-8ish and until last week, I would spend that time cooking something to eat if not eating crappy snacks just to fill our stomachs. This week, due to my diligent bulk-cooking practice that I did last Sunday, I was able to save so much time already! Yesterday, we got home at 7:30 as usual and just heated up the dinner for 10 minutes, ate our dinner and finished cleaning up the table and it had just turned 8p! That is quite an improvement I would say! Now, because of my new rule, I couldn’t go to listening to Telegram messages or checking email or worse of all, watching television, so I utilize my extra 2 hours before bed to wash the dishes (a task that always fell on my husband’s shoulders but this time I decided to do it so I can avoid technology and also help digest the food we had for dinner), clean the bathroom (a very important task that I just never seemed to get to before), prepared my outfit for the following day (something I always struggle to do early in the morning when my brain is just not functioning well and I manage to just put something on that don’t necessarily match each other, the weather, or even my mood for that matter), and I was able to read before bed for 30 minutes, a habit that I have been trying to instill in myself for a couple of weeks now. In the end, I was able to have a nice ritual of drinking herbal tea while reading, prepare the food for the following day (just take it out of the fridge and put into the containers), and even apply lotion to really calm down and finally have a very peaceful and sound sleep.

I was able to wake up at 5:45 am this morning, without too much struggle. All in all, I would call this a success and a beginning to a very successful habit & discipline-oriented lifestyle.

Autumn

I have but a short time, so I will start this week with a short and sweet poem about the upcoming beautiful season of autumn:

Watch the leaves, see'em fall fall
Up the sky, there's a cloud, so small small
That feeling of new beginning
It's getting cold so take your shawl shawl

Ever so gently, feel the seasons change change
Open your heart and feel it so strange strange
Let the breeze embrace your being
Prepare to let it rearrange range

Take this moment to come to the now now
Photograph those colors, just wow wow
Breathe in and breath out like meditation
Time has come to take a vow vow

Love yourself and your being being
Brace yourself and open your wings wings
Forgive, pray, and thank the Lord
For you know that He is the true king king

Reading Shams in Secret

I have grown up hearing about and reading Rumi's poetry. My dad is the one who taught his poetry to my sister and I, my whole family actually. I like his poetry because one, I loved the rhymes, and two, I loved the stories. "Masnavi Ma'navi" is a series of six books of poetry that together amount to around 25,000 verses or 50,000 lines. Rumi is internationally known and all over the world, people praise and study his beautiful poetry. His poetry, beautiful, inspirational, and very much instructional has captured the hearts of many. In fact, many refer to Rumi's poetry as the "second" Quran or Bible as there are many Quranic verses and teachings integrated as well.

There's another book that Rumi has written, maybe a bit less known than his very famous one, named "Divan-e Shams". "A collection of lyric poems that contains more than 40,000 verses, it is written in the New Persian language and is considered one of the greatest works of Persian literature."--Wiki
This one is the lesser known though in so many ways the more beautiful. Shams Tabrizi was Rumi's spiritual teacher and friend. Rumi writes about his devotion to him and the love that he experienced for the Beloved, God.

As I mentioned, I have grown up reading and hearing about Rumi's poetry, especially the Masnavi Manavi one. However, I grew up in America and though my only source was my father who is an expert in this field, it was and still is very difficult to read the poetry in Persian on my own. If I have my dad next to me, I can read it and he can interpret it or help me interpret it. However, now, on my own living many miles away from him, it's a different story. As far as confidences go, I am also not particularly confident about my reading abilities in Persian. I came to the U.S. when I was in the 5th grade so the highest level of education that I completed in Iran was the 4th grade. So basically, I have the knowledge of a fourth grader, regardless of the fact that I am 28 years old, having completed my Masters with years of experience. When it comes to Persian language, though a native speaker, I am very weak when it comes to reading and writing. My literacy has improved immensely in the past four years as I have been living between Iran and the US. I even worked at an office and did serious administrative tasks requiring me to write reports and letters in the mother tongue in Iran. So, I have definitely improved a lot. However, reading poetry and reading Rumi poetry at that, is a difficult task even for an Iranian who was born and raised in Iran. The language is similar (and perhaps more difficult in comparison) to reading Shakespeare or the Canterbury Tales.

Yet, I have recently found myself trying to break this barrier because I find myself being pulled towards reading "Divan-e Shams" for quite some time now. I can't describe the feeling but I keep on feeling like something is missing in my life and I keep remembering his poetry and as soon as I read it a bit, I feel better. Still, I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing. For some reason, this new intense pull I have is something that is so precious to me that I just don't want anyone to ruin it. I feel like I'm already just so fragile when it comes to my endeavors of trying to read in Farsi or write in Farsi that with the slightest breeze, I might just fall down and never get back up again. Thus, I have secretly started this new adventure of reading Shams in secret. I've recently shared my secret desire with a good friend who is as obsessed with his poetry as I am, and much more. She, too was pulled towards Rumi and started with his Divan-e Shams books. She introduced a book I can read (which I found out my dad did own it and it is with my sister in Oakland. I am planning on getting it from her when I go visit her in October.) And until I can get the recommended book, my friend has kindly agreed to send me random poems from the book of Shams on Telegram.

It is so beautiful how as soon as you realize your desire to do something and maybe even speak it out and send it on to the universe, the universe works to help you to get what you desire. Of course, the actual labor of reading it and trying to make sense out of it on my own is all up to me the universe can't transfer the knowledge onto my head. However, the universe has worked to create this opportunity for this to happen if I so desire and I'm truly thankful.

Friends vs. How I Met Your Mother

One of my favorite Comedy shows of all time is "Friends". It never gets old for me, I almost always laugh at their jokes no matter how many times I have already seen one episode. I love how the story develops between the characters. I can't even tell who my favorite character is because I just love all of them! The best part is, every time I watch this show, I just get so happy. Whenever I am feeling down or just so tired, I need a break, I watch "Friends"! I had seen Friends, all episodes from beginning to end before college I think. And then, on September 19, 2005, my first semester at college, this new show comes out called "How I Met Your Mother."

The show started out as very promising. It started as flashbacks, it was narrated by a very familiar voice to me, Bob Saget, (I grew up watching Full House), and one of the main characters was another very friendly face to me, Allyson Hannigan, (my favorite show of all time is Buffy the Vampire Slayer). So it had a good start. I was really into the show and continued watching it until season 2 or 3 when I realized, it is a complete imitation of the show "Friends". The only originality of this show was the relationship between Lily and Marshall. I presume they were portraying "Chandler" and "Monica" being best friends but also in a relationship and engaged to be married. The originality part was that they had been in together for 11 years as boyfriend and girlfriend and the first episode of the show is Marshall proposing to Lily. So it was quite different from the "Friends" scene. However, "Ted Mosby" is pretty much a copy of "Ross Gellar", only not at all as interesting and funny as Ross. I don't even think Ted tried to be funny. Throughout the entire show, you just get the urge to really hit him sometimes. He was so overly romantic and so unrealistically romantic that it just pisses you off at some point. Then, there's "Robin" who is obviously a trade-off of "Rachel", though I have to state that Robin has a different personality than Rachel and I definitely started to take a liking to her after a while but towards the end, I just couldn't stand her and her ways of "scared of commitment" and being a "loner" etc.

Then there's Barney, my favorite character of this show, who is so obviously a copy of "Joey". In all fairness though, I like Barney more than Joey but at the same time, his character is just a bit too unrealistic but Neil Patrick Harris is just such an amazing actor that he doesn't seize to entertain you! Barney, like Joey, is the womanizer of the group. He is also the most immature character with the biggest difference being that Barney is the richest of all in this group of friends and Joey is usually the most broke of the group. Then again, this idea of being "broke" is throughout the entire show of Friends which is one of the parts of the show that I really like. Phoebe is completely cut out of the scene of Friends and just doesn't exist in "How I Met Your Mother". I can understand that though I think she just adds so much to the series "Friends" and wow Lisa Kudrow is just so amazingly talented and funny. Marshall Eriksen, played by Jason Segel replaces "Chandler Bing" but he has a very different personality than Chandler (played by Matthew Perry). I pretty much love both of their characters and personalities. Then there's "Monica Gellar", sister of "Ross Gellar" a twist in the show "Friends" that did not exist in "How I Met" which I really loved, this brother-sister relationship that is just so close. It never gets old for me. Allyson Hannigan playing "Lily Aldrin" is with Marshall, making her the replacement of Monica. Their character personalities are also very different.

Based on my analyses, the personalities of each character was quite different except for Joey-Barney. However, the plot of the two shows were just so damn similar. Ted and Robin were in an on and off relationship throughout the show with finally getting together at the very last episode, much like Rachel and Ross. I like the story between Rachel and Ross so much more just because their friendship was there throughout the entire show and they really did want to be together several times but so much happened and they were afraid of losing their friendship and most importantly, they shared a child together which brought them closer together and almost led them to each other but even then they couldn't just make it work until the very last episode, I guess that's just how the writers of the show had planned it. In many ways, it is super unrealistic and yet in other ways, it's not. It makes sense that you can't really tell what you have until it is being taken away from you and it is only when Rachel was set on leaving to Paris that Ross finally got up the courage to go to her. This ending was very similar to "Sex and the City"'s ending, another really favorite show of mine, which ended February 2004 as opposed to Friends ending May 2004. So perhaps, this time, Friends stole this "ending" from Sex and the City. In any case, it was a sweet ending and it brought most viewers to tears including me. The most important part is that it wasn't just Ross going to Rachel but Rachel also got off the plane to run to Ross. This unity in their love and returning to each other was only in Friends while in "Sex and the City", Big goes to Carrie and brings her back to New York. In "How I Met". also, Ted, finally after many years of getting married to the love of his life and having kids and his wife dying and six years passing, he goes back to Robin and shows up with "the blue french horn". To me, that was just the stupidest way to end the show because the characters just didn't grow. It was the very same old story of Ted resolving to go to Robin and Robin being the girl who either accepted it or not. Robin, who at some point married Ted's best friend for three years no less! So there is not question that the ending to the show "Friends" surpasses all other shows because of that whole idea of "friendship" and "love" that stays true until the very end of the show and most importantly, the characters truly evolve and grow with each other and finally find their back to each other.

As mentioned, Barney at some point, falls in love with Robin, much like Joey falling in love with Rachel. The difference between the plot for these two characters for the two shows is that Barney and Robin actually do go out and at some point in the show get married and divorced, while Joey and Rachel try to date, but they realize they are too good of friends that it is just not worth it to date because they don't want to lose that friendship. I definitely liked Friends' plot more.Then, there is Chandler and Monica's love story that end in marriage after many trials and errors, they get married and move to "Westchester". They try to get pregnant but fail to do so because Monica is unable to conceive. Similarly, in "How I Met", the very same plot happens when Marshall and Lily get married, move to Westchester, but when they try to get pregnant, they are able to and by the last season, they are pregnant with their third child. Monica and Chandler go on to adopt twins in the last season. Barney's character also evolves and grows as in the last two episodes, though he had gone back to his womanizing ways after his divorce from Robin, he tries to have the "perfect month" of sleeping with 31 women in 31 days and gets the last girl pregnant, which is very unrealistic by the way. Why doesn't this guy get Aids or something? In any case, though he is afraid of fatherhood, once he becomes a father of a daughter, his character changes immensely and he is suddenly a different person, one with character and maturity. On the other hand, Joey's character does not evolve and in fact he is left alone with his two best friends leaving the city and all his other friends coupled off. Maybe this is an evolvement for him since he is never been alone like that and probably it is why the spin-off show "Joey" started years later though I have never seen it. I've heard it's not very good though.

One of the things that annoy me the most about "How I Met" is that their "meeting spot" is always at McClaren's, the bar downstairs from their famous apartment. So basically, during every episode, they are drinking, perhaps glass after glass of beer and other alcoholic drinks. Is this really logical? Do people really drink every night? And sometimes not even every night but several times throughout the day and night. To me, that just seems too unbelievable. And unhealthy. And stupid. On the other hand, in "Friends", they always meet at "Central Perk" when throughout the day maybe even in their lunch breaks etc, they come in for a cup of coffee, which is completely natural and practical because that's just what New Yorkers do. New Yorkers are hard workers who may drink multiple cups of coffee or tea per day to function well but they definitely do not drink uncontrollably every night and maybe even throughout the day because they need to go back to work and still function! Or maybe some people do that? I just liked the Central Perk so much more than "McClaren's"--just my opinion.

In the end, one of the things that makes a television show a good one, is when the characters evolve and develop throughout the story. This is true about novels and movies too. In any kind of story really, it is through the plot that we see how much each character has developed and this change has taken place. One of the reasons I am more of a "Friends" fan than "How I Met" is that I feel like pretty much every character in "Friends" changed from the first episode to the last and these changes didn't happen overnight (as Barney did in How I Met). These changes happened slightly throughout the show moving in a very slow speed. Then again, isn't that more realistic? Who changes overnight? Realistically, change and growth take place during the course of our lives and in reality, no "change" happens within a few hours, that's just in the movies!

Obvious 101

"Be successful. Do the easy things." --Jim Rohn

I have written about Jim Rohn in my previous posts already but I want to contribute this post specifically to honor the man who touched so many lives and continues to do so even in his absence. If he were alive now, he would be turning 86 today.

Jim Rohn was a mentor to many people and he changed the lives of many. Those people's lives that he changed are now Tony Robbins, Darren Hardy, John Maxwell, Les Brown, Harvey Mackay, Brian Tracy, and so many others who have taken Jim Rohn's place and have become the biggest mentors and master-minds of our generation. Thus, many refer to Jim Rohn as "the mentor to the masters". Most importantly, in almost every speech or book, Jim also refers to his own mentor, Earl Shoaff. So in this cycle, what can be concluded is that to be able to be successful, you need a mentor to guide you. Once you are successful, you may and perhaps must become a mentor to help those who are still in the dark about the secrets to a successful and happy life.

One of the concepts I learned from Jim Rohn is "what's easy to do is also easy not to do." In the past few weeks, I have been applying discipline to do "the easy things." I do see the difference of just spending under 30 minutes everyday writing or under 30 minutes reading, I feel like it has led to this desire within me to want to instill other disciplined habits on to my life and already, I feel like I am becoming a different person. According to Jim Rohn, in order to become successful, one must become a different person, and attract success. In my case, I believe that I am already on my way.

In the end, it comes down to taking a course in "Obvious 101", doing the things that seem so obvious that it will lead to a better life but sometimes so hard to grasp. 

"Color your face with a slap."

There's an old saying in the Persian language: "color your face with a slap." I've heard it multiple times from here and there but I never fully grasped its meaning until very recently. As it has been stated in my previous posts, I have only recently moved to the SoCal region of CA. I have also recently decided to completely change my career path and instead of applying to pursue a PhD in my field, to go into the world of business and become an entrepreneur. While I get there, I am giving myself a period of 3 years to learn as much as I can about the business world of managing my own company, practice my craft of writing, teaching, and consulting, and gain experience as a manager or director in an education setting.

Until I can get a full-time position in managing, I am taking several courses and doing lots of self-study and writing practice while taking on different projects as a freelance writer and editor. In the past one week, I have took on 3 extra clients, which comes to show that I am making progress in this self-made business. But I don't want to discuss how much profit I am making or what my business is like, I want to write about how I have grasped the true meaning of the "color your face with a slap" expression.

{For the purpose of my clients' privacies, I will not go into detail about their identities. Also I have made may exaggerations here to only clarify my philosophy. Please don't take any of these descriptions as "literal".}

Since I came to LA, or even before I came, I keep hearing about how "shallow" and "superficial" most locals in LA are as opposed to the intellectual, hard working people in NY or the hippie techies of Berkeley and San Francisco. However, after a month and a half of living here, I have already changed my mind. I have learned that there is more than meets the eye and that perhaps because this image of LA remains in most people's eyes, many locals pretend like they are superficial and shallow when they come to all these "parties" and gatherings. However, they are not in such high spirits and fake as they seem as they drink the night away. In fact, they only seem that way because they purposefully make it look that way. In fact, before the party, they have just returned from long shifts of labor and trying to make it big in this country & reach their dreams. In order to hide all that fatigue and perhaps disappointment even, they force their skins to glow with excess makeup and as the expression goes, slap their face as much as possible to make it glow red in order to hide just how baggy their eyes are or how much dirt their faces have accumulated throughout the day and they finally arrive at these parties, glamorous as superstars one may only see in movies or television and drink as much as they can to numb the pain from the many slaps and drink and act merry because they know when the party ends, the fairytale ends with it and they have to go back to their pumpkin carriages with old shabby clothes and ordinary life so Cinderella-like.

They do this because they have to stay in the status quo. They have a reputation to uphold. They can't just let go of all their integrity. But what you and I don't understand is that they do this because they believe in themselves. They have faith that this is only temporary. They will keep this up for as long as needed in order to align their lives. But the questions remains, do they ever align their real life with their fairytale life? 

"Be a student, not a follower"

I was just discussing this idea with a friend this morning. I was thinking about it throughout the day when I checked my email just now and saw: "Be a student, not a follower" as the subject of one of the emails. I love when that happens!

I've heard this phrase before but it just felt more meaningful to me today, when I had just been thinking about this subject. In fact, I was telling my friend how I have never had this one person I can consider as my "teacher" and to live life exactly the way he or she expects me to. She along with another friend of mine comfortably consider this one man as their professor and guide to life while I can barely consider my professor-professors like in school as my "professors." I wonder if this is an ego issue? In a way, I am protecting myself from disappointment. I have had one case where I considered someone so powerful a teacher that I thought this person knew everything. This person was my father. However, as I grew up, I found out, as many children do at a certain age, that my father is not as perfect as I imagined him to be.

I don't think he ever considered himself as perfect or told me to consider him as my guide to life but I did it anyway. When I saw that his actions do not fully align with what he taught me, I felt betrayed. Now, my father is one of the best people I know and if you meet him, you would agree. However, he is not perfect just as everyone else in this world is not. Perfection only belongs to one, who is God. On the other hand, a teacher is a person who perhaps not perfect, but is someone you should be able to turn to when you have questions or when you need guidance. If a teacher says one must never lie and he or she lies from occasion to occasion, then students may not easily be able to believe the teacher or have trust that what he or she is presenting is in fact a guidance or not.

With this in mind, I was telling my friend of something I read a few months ago in one of Dalai Lama's books. He said, everyone needs to find a teacher, a spiritual teacher in particular, in order to succeed on this path. However, there are so many "bad" teachers out there that it is difficult to find the right one that easily. Thus, one must spend a total of 9 years in order to fully settle on ONE teacher who is to be the guide or master that as a pupil, you can follow. 

Although most success mentors agree that one must seek to become a "student" rather than a "follower", if you take 9 years to fully assess one person whether living or dead to then consider as your teacher and master, at least in the field of spirituality, perhaps then it is okay to move from student to follower. 

But then again, even then, perhaps one must always have his or her doubts even if it's an "epsilon" (as my friend quoted) of a doubt, one must have it in order to have at least an "epsilon" of protection against that type of educational betrayal. 

Professional Development

I always used to think that “professional development” refers to training seminars or conferences that are held for employees throughout their careers. And so, I assumed that once I start my career, I would then go to different professional development seminars within the company itself as I did while I was an adjunct professor, any opportunity that I got.

However, recently, I’ve found out that one must be so much more proactive in terms of undergoing professional development. One must actively read, listen, and pursue opportunities for professional development. Thus, I have been proactively and actively involved in listening to instructive and motivational audio, reading books and textbooks, taking courses (I just discovered Coursera, where I can take online courses for FREE), paying courses (Insane Productivity) or conferences/Seminars, and practicing my craft of writing and taking on as much editing and writing opportunities as possible even if it's a low pay in order to practice. In addition, I have subscribed to several different professional development and success mentorship newsletters including Darren Hardy's "Darren Daily".

Here’s what I learned in today’s Darren Daily:

I have to come up with "5 Un-Fab Things" meaning 5 un-fabulous things that I have done in the past 3 days that have become an obstacle to my true productivity. Things that I have done thinking that I'm doing it because I have to and it's keeping me busy but in fact it is only crushing my productivity. Here are my 5 un-fab things from the past few days that I have done and I will not be doing in the next week:

1. Drifting back to sleep after initially waking up (usually at the time I want to get up like 6 or 6:15am where I drift back to sleep and end up getting up at 7 or even 8 during the weekends, which make me miss out on all the productive time I can have in the morning). So from now on, I am going to get right out of bed as soon as I wake up initially, no questions asked.

2. Watching "Friends" or any other show when I am eating--it's enjoyable and relaxing but I know that it has many disadvantages and can only harm me rather than benefit me. It is numbing but not in any way beneficial in the long run. There are so many reasons I can come up with that can show just how un-fab this thing I do is, including crushing my productivity.

3. Not exercising regularly--I was supposed to go for a run this morning and I didn't because I thought, I don't have time now. I need to rush back to do my clients' works that are mostly LATE! Maybe I had a good excuse today but not so much the past couple of weeks. So this week, I am making a pact to exercise regularly--at least 3 days.

4. Checking my telegram or facebook a couple of times throughout the day and spending time listening to my friends' voice messages and responding to them too. Usually this takes 1-2 hours out of my time. It is ok to stay in touch with friends but it is essential to create boundaries. One of the best parts of telegram is that I can listen to the recorded voice messages whenever I want and I don't need to listen to it right away especially because most of my friends live in different time zones. Thus, I need to set a limit for myself as I did before and only check my voice messages at certain times when I am walking or not able to do anything else, or even taking my "breaks, but not checking it several times a day and taking time away from my productive time.

5. Not reading for 20-30 minutes a day before going to bed at night. This is a habit that I mentioned about on my last post and something I have been procrastinating for almost a week now. So I need to go back to having a disciplined routine and making sure that I carve out 20-30 minutes per night to read!

Because I have had a very restful weekend in my vacation at Lake Tahoe, I am looking forward to this week of productivity and I am confident that I will be able to expel these 5 un-fab things from my lifestyle. 

Disciplined Lifestyle

It is now 10:37 pm on Sunday, September 11th and I am just writing my post of the day now. Usually, around this time, I am either dying to sleep and already either in bed about to drift off or doing some last-minute preparations for the following day or following the disciplined habit I am trying to create for myself by reading and having a cup of chamomile before sleeping. In a way, it is because of that exact motivation to follow this new disciplined lifestyle that I am writing at this time.

I've realized that one of the biggest issues I have had so far, the one biggest obstacle that has really shown up time and time again to stop me from reaching my goals is...me. I need to change. I'm the one who needs to be more disciplined and create more healthy habits for myself rather than bad ones. It is obvious that if you are the type of person who by habit likes to start the day with some minor stretching or walking rather than sitting in front of the computer or staring at your phone, then you are also the type of person who is successful in other areas of your life. Thus, here's to a new me, a new me who doesn't give up when things get hard or boring for that matter. Here's to a new me who sticks to these healthy habits, because in fact, it is exactly for this reason that I feel like something is missing from my life because the past few days I haven't been writing as much as the days before. Writing gives me so much energy and so much power. I hope I can say that I have been successful in making writing everyday a habit for myself. However, I am a long way from becoming a better writer.

I need to write more and more importantly, read more. The only way I can be able to allocate my 24 hours in one day to both read enough and write enough, I need to lead a disciplined life.

Tahoe Beauty

They say writing is best when you're surrounded by beautiful scenery and what wouldn't it be? Every time you raise your head, you see nothing but trees and the very blue sky. The sun is also an aid. She speaks to you in rays. Her rays embrace you in warmth and you feel it becoming one with your soul. If you really listen hard enough and let your mind quiet down, you can hear her sing. So you translate her song onto your pen on the paper...

"Zood, Tond, Sari"

Zood, Tond, Sari. Three words that mean: hurry! fast! rush! They are all pretty much the same right? I remember growing up with my mom or older sister always saying this whenever we were in a hurry. I kept wondering, how can I be all those things at once? When in fact, I just needed to be one in order to conquer all.

I'm in a rush this morning; hence, the theme of my post! I feel like vacationing should not be as hectic as it seems to us now. Maybe it is because we are supposed to meet my family so already I am feeling a bit of the anxiety? Or perhaps we are both just so excited to have all the "fun" that we don't want it to be a minute late! And yet, here we are, rushing to go have all the fun. When in reality, it's all about the journey.

The "Mundane" Part of Learning

It is said that when a new skill is learned, one must practice that skill repeatedly until it becomes second nature. However, repetition in itself can be very mundane.

When I was in high school, I took up the violin for a while. I always enjoyed its sound and liked the romance of it. However, I didn't understand what it meant to learn a new instrument at that time. I heard from my teacher and parents constantly that I have to practice in order to get better at it but I just thought, well, as long as I learn it, it's good enough for me! However, after 3 years of attending classes, in my second year of college, I quit. I couldn't take it any longer. I wasn't even able to put the one hour a week of practice as I did before! Years later, I found out that I didn't even learn anything. Because it is through the art of repetition that one can truly learn new skills.

Yes, I call it "art" because I believe that it is. I believe that it is something on its own and only be repetition does one learn the art of repetition! In any case, lately, I know that and I understand it. In fact, as I mentioned in my previous posts, I have recently taken up Ballet. The immediate response to that is: Ballet? Now? Why? How? It seems so impossible for a 28-year old woman to take introductory Ballet and actually stick with it. Why? Because it is one of the most difficult sports and it can only be learned through the art of repetition! I guess that's what it comes down to really. People assume that if you start at a young age, you don't know any better and your body is just so prepared to take on any position you give it so if you practice ballet, your body will grow that way. While this is absolutely true and perhaps if I had started Ballet at the age of let's say 7 or 8, I will definitely not have gotten all the pain I constantly get now after class, it is also true that now, I am just so determined! Perhaps I have never been as determined to learn anything in my life, not even when I took up the violin. Lately, I just have this new zest for life and for taking advantage of everything that it has to offer. And of course, learning ballet is a skill that I believe I must master if I want to really learn the art of "Divine Dance".

Last year, when I lived in the Bay Area, I took this "Divine Dance" with Miriam Peretz.  She called it this and said it was a combination of Ballet, Flamenco and Persian dance! It is the ultimate dance that I had searched for so long and had finally found. Thankfully, Miriam dances all over the world. So even though I cannot attend her weekly classes now because I live here, I know there will be chances where I can dance with her.

Thus, I am preparing myself! First is learning the basics of Ballet, next, I will take up Flamenco! And for now, back to the very mundane part of learning, the art of repetition!

Fyi:

Hectic Week

It's been a hectic week. It's weird that it's been so busy. I think it's partly because it just seems like a shorter week because it is a shorter "work" week. Monday was Labor Day so I had a "relaxed" long weekend with my husband at home mostly and this Friday, he's taking the day off so we can drive up to Lake Tahoe together. That leaves the week to three days only. In these three days, I already had two dance classes and will have my third one tomorrow and I have been skimping on my blog posts! I didn't mean to. It didn't start out this way. Yesterday, I had to wake up before 6 and leave the house by 6 because my husband wanted to get to the dmv office before it opened in Santa Monica (20 miles away from our house in the Valley). So I wrote my post right after my Business class at 11am even though I had planned to write before my class and couldn't because I was too busy reading for my class. Then, today, I overslept! I woke up once at 6am and decided to go back to sleep for another 30 minutes but ended up waking up at 7:09! So I ran to get ready and leave on time! And now, at 9:54pm, here I am writing my blog post for the day!

I feel like other than my blog, I was not able to do a lot of other things I had planned to do this week! And already, tomorrow, is the last day of our week! Because come Friday morning, we are going to be on our way at 5am! Here's my analysis of what went wrong: my plan! I totally over-planned! I feel like I did not at all take into consideration that when you are taking a 3-day trip out of town, no matter how much you may feel prepared already, there's still some last-minute preparations to take care of! Like going to the salon and getting a haircut and color done! In addition, it was a short week! Usually, Mondays are the days I am most unprepared for the week and usually by noon, I get into work-week mode and feel more and more energized by the next day, Wednesday, and even Thursday. Friday, I am so excited it's the last day of the week and if I am able to stay productive enough for the day, then I really start to look forward to the weekend by Friday afternoon! And now, this week, was completely cut in half! I didn't get a chance to "get my head in the game" and "in the zone" like I usually do by Monday noon and didn't have enough time to feel more and more energized! In the end, I feel like I have had an unproductive week and hey only two days have passed!

In conclusion, I am going to cut down on my "goals" for this week, and by "this week" I really just mean tomorrow, the only remaining day of the week for me. I will ONLY do what is necessary and time-sensitive like, two of my clients' works due to deadlines and other preparations for the trip! On the bright side, for me, tomorrow is the last day of the week! Then, hello...road trip!

Education Age

I have recently taken a couple of courses at a local community college. I am shifting the focus of my career and wanted to enhance the learning process for myself. Now that I am here, I am finding myself reevaluating the "education age".

We go to school around the age of 5-7 years old and we continue to be in school until we are 17-18 years old. Going to Kindergarten, Elementary School, Middle School and High School is part of most cultures, either enforced or not. In America, it is required for children to go to school in those ages; in fact, public education is free. On the other hand, going to college, graduate or other professional school is definitely not mandatory and many may choose not to even attend depending on their field.

In my case, I went straight to college right after high school. In fact, I graduated high school a year early. Now, this wasn't because I was particularly smart that they let me "skip a year" but because I was young and foolish and chose to graduate early because I was merely imitating a friend and didn't want to go through senior year alone! Go figure. I went to City College of New York for my complete 4 years of undergraduate school. I pretty much started to "enjoy" school and the learning process much more when I got into college, because honestly, I had no distractions! I was all alone; I didn't know anybody so I started to really pay attention in class. This turned out to be a bit chaotic at times because I was determined to learn everything. I didn't know what I wanted the focus of my field to be because it was just so damn hard to choose! For a time, I took Philosophy and decided I wanted to be a Philosophy major. Same thing happened when I took acting, directing, history, literature, psychology, sociology, education, and... In the end, I was in the end of my third year and realized I don't want to be in school forever (as I noticed many of my peers were around for as long as 6 or 7 years and still nowhere close to graduation). Thus, I decided I need to choose and fast. I evaluated the courses I had taken and realized the one field I had continuously taken courses for since the first semester was French. So I made that my major and graduated after 4 years with a B.A. in French Language and Literature.

In my last semester, I took a Classics course to fulfill a requirement for my major, and I realized I love the Classics and I am pretty good at it too! Resolved, I looked into Masters in Classics programs and seriously considered even applying to a PhD program. I was able to get into a Baccalaureate degree, which was a "bridge" program between Bachelor's and Master's at Columbia University in Classics. I was ecstatic, but later realized I simply cannot afford the tuition so I let that dream go. I thought long and hard about what I want to study in my graduate school because I didn't want to go to school yet again and sure, learn many interesting things, but not really learn any specialized knowledge in order to apply it to acquire a good-paying job. After evaluating my skills set, my interests, and my current job at the time (in the Writing Center), I decided, hey, I love writing and I love teaching it. Why not go into a career where I can teach Writing? Sure enough, I was able to find the perfect program, which was actually housed in my old college, City College of New York! Here I was looking into schools across the country when my second home already had that major, with a much more affordable tuition rate. So I applied to the program and was able to start my graduate study in Spring of 2010.

I must first explain that the main reason I didn't hesitate when I graduated college and thought about graduate school right away was because both my parents went to graduate school and so did my older sister. It just seemed like the logical thing to do! I graduated Winter of 2012 with an MA in English, Language and Literacy and before my degree was up, I was able to score jobs in the teaching of Reading and Writing where I was able to make $30-$65 per hour. I enjoyed what I did and thought I was done! One thing I noticed in my graduate school was that most of my classmates were much older than me. Here were people who already had a life before entering the classroom. Some already had Master's and were there to collect their second degree, while others were switching their careers and were coming back to school after years of working in other fields. Honestly, other than me, there was only one other student who was my age and had come to graduate school straight after college! And even that one person already had a daughter who was 10 years old! So, she had gotten pregnant when she was in high school, at the age of 16 and had still managed to go through college and end up there in graduate school, getting her Master's. Oh and she was already a full-time Kindergarten teacher! I decided, if I do decide to continue on to PhD (which I was seriously considering since I loved college so much), I will wait. I will really try to "have a life" and be able to be in the classroom and really be able to "add value".

Now, 4 years later, here I am, back in school. I am not completing my PhD or any other degree for that matter. I am not even sure if I will go on to complete any sort of program but one thing I notice about myself and about the people around me is, the education age should go up! I understand the first 17 years or so of education that you must go through from infancy all the way until teenage years. However, after you "become of age" or of legal age at least, you need a break! I feel like if not all, most people are not prepared psychologically and socially to go onto study a trade or subject that they will later get a job for. This is the reason I particularly like the American Education System with opportunities such as these community colleges. If a student so chooses, he or she can attend community college and not be a "full-time student" and only take courses at his or her own leisure. Perhaps he or she wants to work part-time while attending school. Perhaps he or she wants to travel! Oh and traveling is the best! Working and traveling are probably the most useful things one can do before really settling in to first of all choosing a field to study and then pursuing one in college.

In my opinion, the best system would be one where after students graduate from college at the age of 17 or 18 (whenever they started school as that differs depending on the culture or background), he or she has to work (and this doesn't even have to be a paid position.) It could be a sort of vocational school very similar to community colleges where students will be trained and also work. Perhaps after a brief 3-6 month "trial period" the student can start to get compensated. Once the student completes these "2 years", he or she will be eligible to apply to an undergraduate program. In addition, during these 2 years, he or she can have opportunities to travel and "work" or "study" abroad for a semester or two. During these 2 years, he or she also has opportunities to take electives so that the person can really get a a sense of what each field entails. In this way, when the student begins undergraduate school, he or she is already 19-21 years old, so maybe he or she is already a legal alcoholic drinker as well, because let's face it! That's another really big problem. Most drunk drivers who get into really bad accidents and end up killing themselves and others are under-age drinkers who drank too much at so and so frat parties in college!

In the end, whether this educational system of mine ends up happening in the next decades or not, the educational age should definitely go up! People can attend undergraduate college right after high school if they so prefer but people, at least wait a couple of years before you go right into graduate school!! In this way, not only will you have a much better idea about what you want to study, but you will also know how to study! You will take the education much more seriously. You will value it more. You will know how to plan your time in a more productive manner. But then again, it can really depend on the person as many people don't actually learn these skills like...ever!

How I Gained Emotional Intelligence

Google defines "Emotional Intelligence" as "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically."

Nobody really cared about this term until suddenly in the past few years, it seems to be the "key" to personal and professional success. Well, I guess it has always been the key to personal success, but the professional part has only taken effect in the last decade or so. Being able to observe your feelings and working through your feelings can be very important in the work place because in most fields, you need to work with other people so you have to know the first thing about it!

In addition, in today's "Darren Daily", Darren Hardy spoke about this concept and mentioned something that I believe is the true reason why Emotional Intelligence is suddenly so important nowadays...it's because we are all just so much more social! It's all due to Social Media! Maybe before, a person was shy and not many people in the office knew about this person and what he or she is really feeling and no body would even care but now suddenly it's all out in the open due to facebook, instagram, linkedin, and etc. Suddenly it's all out there and it needs to be translated somehow into reality and so it is essential to be capable of not only being able to "control" your emotions as this one skill may be something most people already know of, but the capacity to "be aware of" and "express one's emotions" is very important! One must be able to fully "observe" himself in order to understand and "be aware" because the truth is, a lot of times, in today's society, many people just don't even know how to read their own emotions!

I blame television shows for this. In fact, I used to be one of those people who watched tv shows non-stop. I followed at least 4-5 shows at once and looked forward to the new episode each week and would put my important duties at hold in order to watch my shows! I mean, I watched tv religiously! Sound familiar? I was addicted! I couldn't help it! It had come to a point, in an unconscious way that is, where I saw myself and my emotions through these characters! I didn't even know I was doing that. Only after I cut out most shows in fact, all except the Iranian show I mentioned in my last post about (Shahrzad) and only because I watched it with family so it counted as my "family time", did I realize that for the first time, it's just me. Who is me? What am I like? What do I want to be like? How am I like? And most importantly, how am I perceived as? This one just brought it home for me because I realized that a lot of times in the past in my life, I had had the intention for something and would act a certain way, but a lot of times, it would be perceived as something completely different!

So I first began to think about how I can act so that the way I am perceived is equivalent to my intentions. And it was in fact during this process that I realized most of the times, I am not even aware of what I am doing because I am only copying and imitating what I see on these shows (again without doing consciously). During this process, I had to really take a good look at the mirror, a look at myself. It wasn't very pretty at first! I expected to see all the beautiful people I used to watch on these shows but somehow it was just this normal person. At first, I was appalled and couldn't accept it. Is this really my face? Am I really forced to live with this face for the rest of my life? And then, due to all the Psychology and Self-Help books I was studying and devouring at the time, I realized the second step towards Emotional Intelligence is to love oneself and practice compassion towards myself, because I am a gift to this universe and I need to see that. I went into this journey, and it was quite a ride! I do still struggle with it in fact, but I have to say, from where I started and where I am today, I have definitely improved! So now, when I look at the mirror, I smile and love myself, just the way I am.

In fact, suddenly, all those cheesy songs about loving yourself, belonging to yourself, being comfortable at your own skin etc. just started to really make sense and fit my new awareness. The third step was to be able to observe the feelings that were in me, accepting those feelings and deeming them beautiful and forgiving myself above all! Once one is able to solve his own feelings within himself, it is just so simple to be able to "control" it or "express it" in a calmly manner and also "handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." Because if you can, within yourself, "handle" your own feelings fairly and really understandably then you can certainly empathize with others and forgive them more easily as well! In the end, it is so much more simple to forgive others than it is to forgive self!

I know that I still have a long way to go when it comes to being an expert at Emotional Intelligence, but I do think that I have definitely improved from where I was at and I owe it mostly to being able to quit my addiction to television shows and to the virtual world of social media etc. In fact, this is the type of skill that can truly evolve as you age and experience different stages of your life and playing different roles like playing the daughter, the sister, the friend, the wife, the colleague, the student, the teacher, and perhaps later: the manager, the leader, and the mother...