Google defines "Emotional Intelligence" as "the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically."
Nobody really cared about this term until suddenly in the past few years, it seems to be the "key" to personal and professional success. Well, I guess it has always been the key to personal success, but the professional part has only taken effect in the last decade or so. Being able to observe your feelings and working through your feelings can be very important in the work place because in most fields, you need to work with other people so you have to know the first thing about it!
In addition, in today's "Darren Daily", Darren Hardy spoke about this concept and mentioned something that I believe is the true reason why Emotional Intelligence is suddenly so important nowadays...it's because we are all just so much more social! It's all due to Social Media! Maybe before, a person was shy and not many people in the office knew about this person and what he or she is really feeling and no body would even care but now suddenly it's all out in the open due to facebook, instagram, linkedin, and etc. Suddenly it's all out there and it needs to be translated somehow into reality and so it is essential to be capable of not only being able to "control" your emotions as this one skill may be something most people already know of, but the capacity to "be aware of" and "express one's emotions" is very important! One must be able to fully "observe" himself in order to understand and "be aware" because the truth is, a lot of times, in today's society, many people just don't even know how to read their own emotions!
I blame television shows for this. In fact, I used to be one of those people who watched tv shows non-stop. I followed at least 4-5 shows at once and looked forward to the new episode each week and would put my important duties at hold in order to watch my shows! I mean, I watched tv religiously! Sound familiar? I was addicted! I couldn't help it! It had come to a point, in an unconscious way that is, where I saw myself and my emotions through these characters! I didn't even know I was doing that. Only after I cut out most shows in fact, all except the Iranian show I mentioned in my last post about (Shahrzad) and only because I watched it with family so it counted as my "family time", did I realize that for the first time, it's just me. Who is me? What am I like? What do I want to be like? How am I like? And most importantly, how am I perceived as? This one just brought it home for me because I realized that a lot of times in the past in my life, I had had the intention for something and would act a certain way, but a lot of times, it would be perceived as something completely different!
So I first began to think about how I can act so that the way I am perceived is equivalent to my intentions. And it was in fact during this process that I realized most of the times, I am not even aware of what I am doing because I am only copying and imitating what I see on these shows (again without doing consciously). During this process, I had to really take a good look at the mirror, a look at myself. It wasn't very pretty at first! I expected to see all the beautiful people I used to watch on these shows but somehow it was just this normal person. At first, I was appalled and couldn't accept it. Is this really my face? Am I really forced to live with this face for the rest of my life? And then, due to all the Psychology and Self-Help books I was studying and devouring at the time, I realized the second step towards Emotional Intelligence is to love oneself and practice compassion towards myself, because I am a gift to this universe and I need to see that. I went into this journey, and it was quite a ride! I do still struggle with it in fact, but I have to say, from where I started and where I am today, I have definitely improved! So now, when I look at the mirror, I smile and love myself, just the way I am.
In fact, suddenly, all those cheesy songs about loving yourself, belonging to yourself, being comfortable at your own skin etc. just started to really make sense and fit my new awareness. The third step was to be able to observe the feelings that were in me, accepting those feelings and deeming them beautiful and forgiving myself above all! Once one is able to solve his own feelings within himself, it is just so simple to be able to "control" it or "express it" in a calmly manner and also "handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." Because if you can, within yourself, "handle" your own feelings fairly and really understandably then you can certainly empathize with others and forgive them more easily as well! In the end, it is so much more simple to forgive others than it is to forgive self!
I know that I still have a long way to go when it comes to being an expert at Emotional Intelligence, but I do think that I have definitely improved from where I was at and I owe it mostly to being able to quit my addiction to television shows and to the virtual world of social media etc. In fact, this is the type of skill that can truly evolve as you age and experience different stages of your life and playing different roles like playing the daughter, the sister, the friend, the wife, the colleague, the student, the teacher, and perhaps later: the manager, the leader, and the mother...
Nobody really cared about this term until suddenly in the past few years, it seems to be the "key" to personal and professional success. Well, I guess it has always been the key to personal success, but the professional part has only taken effect in the last decade or so. Being able to observe your feelings and working through your feelings can be very important in the work place because in most fields, you need to work with other people so you have to know the first thing about it!
In addition, in today's "Darren Daily", Darren Hardy spoke about this concept and mentioned something that I believe is the true reason why Emotional Intelligence is suddenly so important nowadays...it's because we are all just so much more social! It's all due to Social Media! Maybe before, a person was shy and not many people in the office knew about this person and what he or she is really feeling and no body would even care but now suddenly it's all out in the open due to facebook, instagram, linkedin, and etc. Suddenly it's all out there and it needs to be translated somehow into reality and so it is essential to be capable of not only being able to "control" your emotions as this one skill may be something most people already know of, but the capacity to "be aware of" and "express one's emotions" is very important! One must be able to fully "observe" himself in order to understand and "be aware" because the truth is, a lot of times, in today's society, many people just don't even know how to read their own emotions!
I blame television shows for this. In fact, I used to be one of those people who watched tv shows non-stop. I followed at least 4-5 shows at once and looked forward to the new episode each week and would put my important duties at hold in order to watch my shows! I mean, I watched tv religiously! Sound familiar? I was addicted! I couldn't help it! It had come to a point, in an unconscious way that is, where I saw myself and my emotions through these characters! I didn't even know I was doing that. Only after I cut out most shows in fact, all except the Iranian show I mentioned in my last post about (Shahrzad) and only because I watched it with family so it counted as my "family time", did I realize that for the first time, it's just me. Who is me? What am I like? What do I want to be like? How am I like? And most importantly, how am I perceived as? This one just brought it home for me because I realized that a lot of times in the past in my life, I had had the intention for something and would act a certain way, but a lot of times, it would be perceived as something completely different!
So I first began to think about how I can act so that the way I am perceived is equivalent to my intentions. And it was in fact during this process that I realized most of the times, I am not even aware of what I am doing because I am only copying and imitating what I see on these shows (again without doing consciously). During this process, I had to really take a good look at the mirror, a look at myself. It wasn't very pretty at first! I expected to see all the beautiful people I used to watch on these shows but somehow it was just this normal person. At first, I was appalled and couldn't accept it. Is this really my face? Am I really forced to live with this face for the rest of my life? And then, due to all the Psychology and Self-Help books I was studying and devouring at the time, I realized the second step towards Emotional Intelligence is to love oneself and practice compassion towards myself, because I am a gift to this universe and I need to see that. I went into this journey, and it was quite a ride! I do still struggle with it in fact, but I have to say, from where I started and where I am today, I have definitely improved! So now, when I look at the mirror, I smile and love myself, just the way I am.
In fact, suddenly, all those cheesy songs about loving yourself, belonging to yourself, being comfortable at your own skin etc. just started to really make sense and fit my new awareness. The third step was to be able to observe the feelings that were in me, accepting those feelings and deeming them beautiful and forgiving myself above all! Once one is able to solve his own feelings within himself, it is just so simple to be able to "control" it or "express it" in a calmly manner and also "handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." Because if you can, within yourself, "handle" your own feelings fairly and really understandably then you can certainly empathize with others and forgive them more easily as well! In the end, it is so much more simple to forgive others than it is to forgive self!
I know that I still have a long way to go when it comes to being an expert at Emotional Intelligence, but I do think that I have definitely improved from where I was at and I owe it mostly to being able to quit my addiction to television shows and to the virtual world of social media etc. In fact, this is the type of skill that can truly evolve as you age and experience different stages of your life and playing different roles like playing the daughter, the sister, the friend, the wife, the colleague, the student, the teacher, and perhaps later: the manager, the leader, and the mother...
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