Thankful

I'm so excited for this year's Christmas and it's not just because I'm finally spending this Christmas with the love of my life in my own home--well, that has a lot to do with it but it's not the only reason. I think another reason is just because I'm so happy about this past year. I feel that I've had such an amazing year and I feel so thankful. I feel that I haven grown a lot and I've made some substantial changes in my life that I'm very proud of. Most importantly, this Christmas 2016, I can finally declare myself as a writer! I know I haven't been writing everyday for the past two or three weeks due to my crazy schedule and having guests over, but I have proof of my work--this blog, my story...

In fact, I'm once again very motivated to go back to my story and complete it. I did lose a little bit motivation and start a new project (which I would like to also do after I complete the story). I shared the story with my MasterMind group and I've gotten so much compliment from them that I'm all juiced up and ready to get back to writing! I know thanksgiving is already done, but, I never gave a chance to myself in this platform, to give my thanks. So here it is...

Post-Thanksgiving Regrets

It seems like every Thanksgiving, the week leading up to it, we find ourselves counting down the days until we reach turkey day. Whether we ourselves are the chefs or we are invited to a friend's or relative's for dinner, we can't wait until we are sitting around that table and giving our thanks right before we dig into that flesh with a side of cranberry sauce.

Food--The Great Equalizer

As promised, this week, I would like to work on a couple of stories that I would eventually add up together to be a book. It is just a draft and it is very experimental because I want to really explore this idea that has been eating away at me until I finally bring it down on paper. So here it is, raw and vulnerable...

Excuses & Sunrise

I have an excuse...I mean, about not writing. But then again, I guess there's always something huh? I think I've confused my writing to do's and that has caused me to write even less. I guess never shoot for perfect huh? Now, I think wrote a total of one day this week well two days with today, and I had decided to start my 3-day a week blog days after thanksgiving due to my crazy schedule. Okay, I think I'm going through a pattern here...I keep talking about wanting to be organized and making sure I write both on my blog and work on my fictional work and yet...I have these weeks where I don't write for days and I just couldn't care for it! Sure, I had quiet the excuse...preparing for thanksgiving, preparing for my exam, preparing for coming here (East Bay), preparing for the 5K race (which is today), ...

Writing Dilemmas

My writing schedule is a bit messed up. Three weeks ago, I went back to my fiction writing and have been very good at writing consistently everyday. Everyday, I work on my story for an hour to an hour and a half. I want to eventually increase that number to two to three hours. However, after discontinuing to post those fiction writings here, I haven’t exactly been an active blogger. And I miss that. I miss having this space to just write.

Fiction-writing Update

48 pages.

Post-Election Panic

It seems like America has lost its honor.

Darkness

I was thinking about where my story is going this morning as I wrote the 43rd page of my story. I didn't know how or why, but whenever my fingers had an accord of their own and the words just flowed, the direction of the story went into darkness more and more. I don't know why that's happening or whether there should be a why. Surely, as all writers do, my story reflects my own story and my own life. Of course, there are no "Mandalas" in this world that we're living in and the details to the last core is not what I have experienced in my life or would even want to experience. Yet, when I go into the deep emotional parts of the story, I do use my own experiences, just as actors and actresses do when performing emotional dramatical monologues!

Alex & Matt in Dubai

This is not exactly a continuation of what I wrote here yesterday as I've been working on the story on my own, outside of this blog. In fact, I've decided from tomorrow on, because I am now fully invested and involved with this project (this story), I will be writing it in my own time, outside of my blog. I miss blogging for the purpose of blogging, so expect to see some of my old blog posts starting tomorrow morning.
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To Leave or Not to Leave?

At that moment, Alex was ecstatic that this day has finally come, but something was off. Alex couldn't quite put her finger on it but it didn't feel right, the way she always imagined. Somehow it all seemed too....perfect. She felt her hand squeezed by Matt and looked into his face. His creamy complexion, his dreamy eyes, his handsome smile…she shook her head internally, trying to shut that suspicion off. This is Matt, the love of her life.

Too Perfect

"This is Rune. He's....my nephew." Said Matt.

Marilyn smiled back. "He's very cute."

A few moments later, Alex ran out.

"I'm here...I'm here...ok! Let's go!"

It was a rather awkward dinner and although Alex was fully charged from her hospital stay, she started to feel the heaviness that was lingering in the air. Matt was being very sweet, as usual, yet her parents were so unimpressed. Maddy was the worst! She wouldn't even talk to him. She was on her phone the entire night! She kept arguing that it's her campaign manager as if all this time that she has been visiting here, this guy wasn't anywhere to be found calling her or whatnot and now he can't seem to have enough.

As for "Rune", the little boy Matt had brought, he was definitely the cutest but he just seemed so sad and scared. She asked Matt about him, but he just stroked her hair and said he would explain later. Meanwhile, Matt, was really trying to hold back the urge to order his Mandala to get out of there. His Mandala was doing just fine, but he was running out of time. He certainly wasn't expecting her parents to be around still and just hoped he would talk to Alex and they would take the jet back to Dubai by the night. And yet, it is almost 10 pm and they are still at the restaurant. In fact, although his Mandala was being very impressive, the parents were not impressed. When Matt got up to use the restroom, he communicated his needs with his Mandala....

Do we really need to continue with this? They're not even impressed! Let's just get out of here! And make something up or take Alex with us! She's missed me like crazy I can tell and whatever that hospital business was scared her so now is the perfect time to take advantage of that vulnerability isn't it?

...Matt...I will do as you wish if you so desire it. However, from what I'm reading in the situation, Alex really wants this night to go well and is growingly getting mad at her family for not holding up their end of the bargain. If we leave, it will only make her pissed off more. If we stay and endure the night, she will love us for it and will be more willing to hear us out afterwards. 

When Matt communicated with her Mandala, it was as if he was talking to himself while looking at the mirror. In fact, if anybody walked in, they would think there was something definitely wrong with him. However, the Mandala didn't have any other means to speak so it used the outlet of Matt's body to communicate with Matt. Other times, if Matt is in control of his body, then Matt may either speak out loud or think certain questions, but the Mandala will always respond as a thought.

Matt got back to the table and saw that at this point Alex started to really show her anger. She tried to hide it when she saw Matt. It wasn't very convincing. Before Matt can say anything though, Alex spoke up: "Hey, sweetie, I'm so sorry about this. But I think tonight seems a bust. It's kind of weird right now especially since I was at the hospital for the past 5 nights. Besides, my parents are leaving tomorrow morning so as soon as they're gone, we will see each other and catch up...okay?"

Matt frowned and said: "Sweetie...I know you have your family to take care of and I totally respect that. If anything, they're right to be upset and not very willing to talk to me because I've been gone this whole time that you've been sick and haven't even bothered to call. I know you understand {Matt said this when Alex tried to say that she understands} but the truth is, it looks bad. But, there is something I need to talk to you about, and it's kind of time sensitive. And...I can't speak in front of...everyone you know? Is it possible for you to just come home with me so we could talk and then I will drive you back home so you can be with your family tonight. Again, I wouldn't have asked you if this weren't a time-urgent matter."

Alex considered this for a while and decided to believe him. She finished signing her name on the check and everybody got up to leave. When they got outside to their cars, Matt shook hands with Alex's parents and Maddy, who reluctantly took his hand and they got into their car, without saying anything else. Matt leaned in to kiss Alex on the cheek and told her he would stay in the car for her. When Matt walked away, Alex told his parents that she needs to go over to Matt's apartment for a little bit. Nobody tried to argue against it and they complied and said they would go back home and wait for her before they go to sleep. Alex smiled, kissed his father and walked to Matt's car.
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When they got to Matt's apartment, Matt put Rune, who was already asleep in his bed and then took Alex' hand and brought her up to the roof, their usual place for talking. Matt poured two glasses of wine and gave one to Alex and they stood looking out onto the city while sipping on their wine. Alex was waiting for Matt to speak. She was really starting to feel some stress by now though. It's not that she was scared of being there with Matt, but she knew he wouldn't have asked her to come up there if it weren't something serious. She was also worried about what her parents would say. They oddly let her go easily without any questions but she knew the questions awaited her at home. She took a deep breath and took another sip of her wine.

Matt finally began to speak:

"Alex...I want to start by telling you how much I am sorry for not being there for you this past week. When you told me today that you were at the hospital this past week, my heart just broke. I thought, how do I dare tell this woman I love her and yet I'm not there for her when she needs me most? I am so ashamed of myself that you would never know...! Also, I didn't know your parents would be here and though I'm so glad that I was able to see them now, especially now, I just wished that it would be in better circumstances. The truth is Alex, I can't live here anymore."

Alex looked really confused at this point.

"You know that trip I took to Dubai? Well...I went, and thankfully, I was able to help that little boy and he was able to get the medication he needed and everything was fine. But, when I talked to the boy, whose English was very good indeed because of the school you helped built...he told me about a friend of his from his village. He said that this friend of his was brutally separated from his mother and his mother was taken away by the government...God knows where! So I got a team together to try and find this boy and thankfully, he was still hanging around in his village, in his own home, with no food or water. This boy had been in there for a week. I tried to take him to a Foster home or anything but they just wouldn't hear of it! They were afraid the boy would have some virus! I couldn't believe it...and well, after that, I decided I couldn't let this boy starve to death and so I...took him under my wing until I can find out where his mother has gone and see if I can reunite him with his mother. I was able to bring him on my trip, because I was afraid of what would happen to him..."

Alex finally began to realize what he meant.... "Rune? Is that the little boy? He's not your nephew then? Oh..." Alex didn't know what to say or what to think. Here was the love of her life, being this amazing hero. She couldn't believe it. Matt was a good man but he was never this self-sacrificing. The culture there must've really had an effect on him. 

"Yes, I brought Rune with me. Especially because he is so attached to me now! He wouldn't even let go of my hand when we wanted to pass through security at the airport! I wouldn't lie if I said I have also grown attached to him. But I came here, because of you. All of this adventure in Dubai really made me realize how much I can't live without you and how much I need you in my life."

Alex was a hundred percent hooked at this point, seeing the tears in Matt's eyes and feeling her own eyes moistening when he set his wine glass down and kneeled on one knee in front of her. Oh my god! He's going to propose. Oh my god!! Matt reached into his pocket and took out a small box and opened it, containing the most beautiful diamond ring Alex had ever seen. Then, she realized, it's the one that she had wanted for herself. Two years ago, she had seen this same exact ring when she had just started dating Matt...but how could he have...?

Seeing the confusion in her eyes, Matt continued: "I know. I remember. When I saw you being practically glued to that window, staring at that ring, I couldn't help myself. I went in an bought the ring...just in case. And now, I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I can't even fathom my life without you, let alone live it. Alexandria Marilyn Johnson....will you marry me and make me the most happiest man on earth?"

At that moment, Alex was ecstatic that this day has finally come, but something was off. Alex couldn't quite put her finger on it but it didn't feel right, the way she always imagined. Somehow it all seemed too....perfect.

45-minute Writing Session Today

It was around 9:24am when Alex finally woke up. This time, she didn't wake up by the sound of her own screaming. Her eyes physically hurt. Alex tried to turn her head and that's when she felt it. She couldn't move her head, or her arms or legs for that matter. She was strapped to the bed. She looked around to find her sister but could only see white walls. She was just about to call out to her when she heard someone opening the door.

"How are you doing Ms. Ivana?" It was a man's voice. He walked towards her and stood right in front of her so she could see him fully. He had a tall and lean profile. He was wearing the same white lab coat that Alex had observed in many of the other nurses and doctors. He was wearing glasses and had dark black hair with piercing hazel eyes. He looked genuinely concerned and was looking at Alex intently. So much that she felt herself blushing. But then she remembered she is strapped to the bed and suddenly felt her anger rising again.

"Why am I strapped? Where is my sister? Where am I?" Alex demanded.

The man with the intent eyes smiled slightly and put his hand on Alex's shoulder and smiled gently. "My name is Eric Thompson and I am the night doctor. Your sister is okay. She's still in the hospital, just in another department. We had to transfer you to this department because....Do you remember anything from last night?"

Alex couldn't help but melt in his eyes. So she closed her eyes to think. "It's all kind of a blur. I was in pain and then...I started crying, I think. My sister...Maddy...oh god I didn't say anything to her did I?" Alex suddenly opened her eyes and looked at the doctor.

"So that's why." Eric murmured and then continued in a louder voice: "No. You don't need to worry. You were just really...emotional. It's a common side-effect to MOD."

"MOD?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Mandala Over Dose. Most patients stay at the hospital for at least a week to recover. They've just been replacing themselves with their Mandalas for so long that they are not used to the regular human emotions that they just let it go so much. Many people don't understand that crying or angry outbursts are normal human functions and in fact, it is part of human nature and if we are always blocking or avoiding that so much, we would be denying a part of our natural human selves. In fact, the body is connected to our emotions; it is because of this that the body begins to reject the Mandala if we have used it too much."

The good-looking doctor finished as he started to release the knots of the bed straps that contained Alex in place. Alex thought back to what her father always said. Could it really be? But then, that means the invention of Mandalas are not indeed perfect and that it contains faults. Alex moved her arms around as the doctor released the straps. She stretched her arms long as he freed them. He then proceeded to her legs and opened the straps there. His long fingers brushed Alex's skin on his way down and Alex felt a shiver go up her spine right there. She glanced at him to see if he noticed but even if he did, he didn't let on. After opening all the straps, he went over to the computer and started studying it. Alex pushed herself up. She still felt really weak.

"So did I get special treatment or do MOD patients also usually get strapped to the bed when they are hospitalized?" Alex asked.

Eric turned back and responded: "No. I mean, it's very unlikely. We only strap patients in this way, if they pose a risk to themselves."

Alex blinked and frowned. "...pose a risk? Because I was crying? I though you said---"

"Alex, you tried to kill yourself. I mean...you probably feel sore from last night and it's due to all the bruises you caused yourself. You kept on trying to tear the needle from your arm and using it to pierce yourself. If your sister weren't there and awake, we may have lost you there for sure."

Alex stared at him, wide-eyed, barely believing it. How could I have done that and not even remember it? All I remember is having nightmare after nightmare and then waking up, feeling more unrested than before I went back to sleep. That stupid day doctor or whatever last night should've warned her. How should she know that this was a possibility? More than ever, she missed Matt. And with that thought, she felt more guilty. He was in Africa trying to help the poor kids and here she was selfishly wanting him while having impure thoughts about her night doctor. "So, did I sleep at all? I mean, what time is it?"

"Well I put a watch on you to check every half an hour. Since half an hour ago, you slept for about half an hour." Eric smiled at her.

"No I mean...is it still night time? I mean..you said you're my night doctor so..." Alex responded.

This time it was Eric's turn to blush. "Oh...the day doctor...your doctor...he hasn't arrived yet so I thought I should be here until I make sure he gets here so I can fully transfer care."

Alex decided to have a little fun with this: "Transfer care? Isn't that the nurse's job usually?" Alex smiled at Eric's face who tried to explain more. "I know...thank you." Alex looked into Eric's eyes. He was just so genuine. And that's when she wondered: was it really him she was talking to or was it his Mandala? Why should taht matter? It didn't use to matter. What changed? Are doctors allowed to change into their Mandalas? Or are they limited at all? 

Their stare-fest was interrupted when Maddy, Alex's sister walked in.

"Hey...you're up! How are you feeling sis?" Maddy asked happily.

Alex smiled back at her sister. She was very impressed by Maddy. She didn't think Maddy would offer to stay with her the night, let alone actually stay. "Yeah..I'm up. I'm okay...Doctor Eric here was very helpful."

Maddy looked confused and looked between Eric and Alex to try to figure it out. That's when Alex realized she had just called her doctor by his first name. That's probably not the most normal response.

-----this was only a 45 minute writing session. I'm falling asleep at this point so I'm going to either take a nap or get some coffee in my system so I can continue writing. I will continue on my own word document and post it here tomorrow.-----

Inspired by Music

"Was it your Mandala?" Maddy asked after several minutes.

Alex tried to protest--but she was too weak to go into that so instead, she said: "Yes."

Maddy didn't say anything for a while. She had her eyes closed and still held Alex's left hand in hers and was absently caressing it. Alex closed her eyes.

Then, Marilyn walked in.

"Sweetie. It looks like it really is in your benefit to stay here. I'm going to stay with you and Maddy is going home with your dad. Before Alex could say anything, Maddy spoke up: "No. Mom. I want to stay with her. You and dad go."

"No nonsense. None of you need to stay. I can stay. You guys are here on vacation. I'll call a friend to come stay with me," Alex said weakly.

Marilyn and Maddy looked at her a moment before turning back to each other. "Ok sweetie. You can stay here. Do you need anything though? I can bring it for you...maybe some pillows or something?" Marilyn said.

Maddy smiled, let go of Alex's hand and stood up. "Mom...we're in a hospital. We are surrounded by pillows and blankets all over the place! I'll be ok. If I get hungry, I'll just fetch something from the cafeteria. You guys go right ahead." And then she put her palm on Alex's forehead. "I'm going to take care of little Alex here myself. You guys go."

Marilyn smiled and looked at Alex this time. Alex, having surrendered by that point, smiled back at her and nodded, I'll be okay.

And with that, Marilyn walked out. Soon after, Maximus came in. "Hey sweetie. You sure you don't want anything from the house? What about you Alex? You know what, just call us if you need anything." He walked over to Alex first, this time, and kissed her on the forehead. Then he hugged Maddy and then he walked out.

Alex turned to Maddy and said: "you really didn't have to stay. You're going to be really bored now. I'm already ready to go back to sleep now."

Maddy flashed a smiled at Alex and went into her purse and fetched out a small book. "This is exactly why I always carry a book with me! I just started this novel actually so I'm going to sit right here [she sat on the chair next to Alex's bed] and read my book while you rest. And I will be here when you wake up or when you go back to sleep. Either way, I'm here for you." Maddy smiled and sat down and opened her book.

Alex was rather surprised. Maddy had never been so kind to her before. If anything, she felt worse. She really did wish she was alone.

"Hey...what's wrong? Do you have pain?" Maddy exclaimed when looked up from her book. Alex didn't even realize she was crying before Maddy said anything. She opened her mouth to try to explain herself but it only made it worse as she cried harder. Maddy took tissues out from the tissue box on the table side and gave a couple to Alex. Alex just cried harder. She couldn't even stop herself. "Hey...what happened? Do you want me to call the doctor?" And Maddy turned to go out of the room."

Alex tried to respond between sobs but it was no use. Maddy had already stepped out. Alex just continued to cry. It's been a long time since she'd cried. Maybe a year or two. Now that she started, she couldn't stop. Maddy walked in with the nurse at that point.

"She's crying. She must be in pain! She can't even speak. You have to see her!" Maddy was explaining to the nurse. The nurse tried to calm Maddy. She walked to Alex's bed.

"What's wrong? Do you have pain? Where do you have pain?" The nurse asked Alex.

Alex couldn't even respond. She was still crying, her sobs getting louder and louder. It was like with every sob, her heart felt a little lighter. She wondered why she hadn't cried in so long. The nurse went on the computer. She started punching things in the computer. She wanted to see what kinds of painkillers the patient was using. After reading the report, she blinked, knowingly and turned off the computer. She walked out only to return with a syringe.

"Wait...what are you doing? Is that going to help her? Do you even know what's wrong with her?" Maddy exclaimed, wide-eyed, after she saw that the nurse was headed towards Alex's bedside.

"Ms. You told me your sister is in pain didn't you? I checked her report, and right now, this is exactly she needs, based on her symptoms. In fact, it is a very normal response that she has shown in output and this is all in the process of her treatment." The nurse calmly explained to Maddy. When Maddy finally let her go, the nurse injected the fluid in the syringe inside the fluid pack that was attached to Alex's body.

Alex was still crying uncontrollably. After fully injecting the fluids, the nurse adjusted the fluid packet, threw out the syringe and turned to leave the room. Before leaving, she turned to Maddy and said: "I suspect this will continue for at least another hour or two. I suggest you leave her be for a while. Why don't you go and get some dinner from the cafeteria? I think the cafeteria is going to close by midnight."

Maddy was still worried about Alex and she turned to her. "Ms, you can't do anything about her right now." The nurse said. She smiled and walked out.

Maddy walked over to Alex's bed, and tried to call her. "Alex....do you hear me? Alex??" But it's like Alex was gone. She just cried on and on, taking breaths in the middle.

Maddy, deciding she really was no use, leaned down, kissed Alex's forehead and quickly escaped the room. She ran out really. After she came to a good distance from Alex's room, she stopped. She sat down at the nearest chair and took deep breaths.
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It wasn't an easy night. After Maddy calmed herself down, she had went into the cafeteria and had a small salad that she didn't enjoy. After about an hour, when she returned to Alex, she was confronted to louder wails of Alex. At this point, she was screaming so loudly though. The same nurse returned with two more nurses and they tried to hold Alex in place because now she was wailing and trying to squirm out of there. Maddy started crying too. She really didn't think it would be this bad. She hated seeing her sister in so much pain. Alex was shouting and trying to get up when another nurse, and a younger doctor walked in too. The doctor was holding an injection. While the other nurses held Alex down, the doctor injected her on her left arm this time. Alex, finally calmed down and went absolutely still. That was probably one, strong tranquilizer. Maddy stayed with Alex the whole night though. That outburst happened two other times. Each time, seven or eight nurses came in and the younger doctor, holding the strong tranquilizer.
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Scene is changed to Matt, showing him in Dubai, signing papers and arguing over a deal. The movie at this point alternates between scenes of Matt signing papers for girls to be released to the Auction facility in a city outside of Dubai. Then Matt is waiting outside in the middle of an empty road, leaning on his expensive car when a bus pulls in front of him. The bus is filled with women, scared, bowing their heads, trying not to look up at him. He handed a package to the bus driver and then walked into the bus. He counted the girls carefully. When his hands touched a girls' head accidentally, she drew back. He leaned down to look at her directly. His smile showed his innocence and the girl smiled back, relieved. He was talking to the girl, trying to calm her {his voice is inaudible as music is being played in the background in this part of the movie}. She smiles back and relaxes. Then, she gets up, her hand in his, and walks out of the bus with him. Matt signed the rest of the papers and gave the package, containing the one-time use GPS to the driver. He looked into his rearview mirror and closed his eyes. When he opened it again, he had that evil look about him again, and he hungrily looked at the girl. She instantly knew, but it was too late. He attacked her before she can scream.
{The song that is being played can be Rihanna's "Stay" which alternates between scenes of Alex screaming out loud and crying, Maddy, looking at her worried, while the nurses tried to hold her down and inject her with tranquilizers and then scenes of Matt signing papers, giving packages to these bus drivers taking buses filled with girls in the country and sometimes taking a girl or two out with him, raping them, and killing them on the spot and burning their bodies nearby.
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It was around 9:24 am when Alex finally woke up. This time, she didn't wake up by the sound of her own screaming. Her eyes physically hurt. Alex tried to turn her head and that's when she felt it. She couldn't move her head, or her arms or legs for that matter. She was strapped to the bed. She looked around to find her sister and could only see white walls...

Bloody Noses and Mandala After-Effects

Alex had been in her Mandala for days. This was the longest in fact. Her parents had decided to stay the week because seemingly, they were just having so much fun, so Alex had stayed in her Mandala for 4 straight days now. She didn't know if there was really any kind of side effects to that but she didn't really care much about that. However, she was starting to miss it. She wanted to be back in the world and fully enjoy everything as is. Then again, what is she going to go back to? Already, even within her Mandala, the guilt is still pretty pronounced every time she talks to her sister. This was definitely a first, feeling like she misses living and starting to feel the negative emotions that a Mandala is supposed to be a shield for that kind of stuff. 

It didn't help that Matt was still not back. In fact, she was really worried about him. Every time she called his cell, it was off. Ever since that first night, she still hasn't talked to him. This only added to her anxiety all together. Resolved, Alex decided to call her doctor and see him as soon as possible. Perhaps, this may be a good idea to escape her Mandala and her family all together. She went into her phonebook. She found the doctor's name, called and took an appointment for the following day with the receptionist. Now, she just needed to wait until tomorrow to get this problem sorted out.

It was 2pm and just like clockwork, her parents were taking their nap time, but her sister was awake. She was in the pool, waiting for Alex. Alex had said she had to go up to make an important call before she could join her there. She put on her swimsuit as she continued to ponder this dilemma. Before she exited her room, she switched over to her Mandala, hoping this time it would seriously protect her, as it always should. 

"Alex! What took you so long! Come on woman!"

Maddy yelled from the poolside. She had a beer in hand and held a beer out for Alex. This part definitely confused Alex. This was so unlike her sister. Maddy never drinks.

"Hey yeah sorry. I spoke to my secretary and had to make some arrangements for the next few days since I will be going in late or working from home. And then I got a call from my doctor confirming my appointment for tomorrow. It totally slipped my mind." 

Maddy handed the beer to Alex and asked: "doctor? why? Is everything okay?" She looked genuinely concerned. 

Alex smiled gently. "Oh no it's just a routine check up. No worries. So...what's with the beer?" 

Maddy raised her shoulders as a sign to show: "no idea". She then put her beer down, took off her dress, revealing her bikini and jumped in the pool, causing water to be splashed towards Alex who laughed. She also took off her dress and joined Maddy in the pool. They started swimming laps back to back and after a few rounds, they finally stopped. Maddy sat up on the side of the pool and took off her swimming goggles breathlessly. Alex joined her in as well. She was really nauseous at this point. 

"Sis, are you ok?" Maddy asked.

Alex smiled weakly and said not to worry. Maddy got up and took the two beers back and handed Alex's back to her. After a few minutes of silence of drinking their beers, Maddy broke down.

Alex was surprised. "Hey what's wrong?" But she didn't push it. She just waited expectantly, for Maddy to recover." 

Maddy curled up her legs and hugged them to her chest. She wasn't even trying to stop the tears. Alex got up and opened the cabinet next to the pool and took out the box of tissues and brought them over to Maddy. Then she sat next to her again. She didn't try to comfort her as she would've if it were her. Alex's Mandala knew that this was exactly not what Maddy needed then. After a few minutes, Maddy finally calmed down and took a few tissues out of the box and wiped her tears and blew her nose. 

"Thanks. I'm sorry...I don't know what's gotten into me. The pain...it's just too much."

Alex waited for her to continue and when she didn't she responded: "I know. You don't have to be sorry sis. It's hard to go through that. I can't even imagine what you've been through these two years."

Maddy quickly responded to that: "no you don't understand. All this time, I thought Fred was going to come to his senses and put his gambling ways behind him and come to restart our marriage. But just last week, I received the divorce papers, which means, it's over. It's really over. I didn't expect that. I was willing to overlook everything as soon as he returned. I was even willing to overlook what happened, all the girls, all the gambling." Maddy turned to Alex and implored: "I was even willing to accept him in his Mandala! I had decided I would do the surgery and get the Mandala in me...for him you know? I wanted so badly for us to be okay again. All this time....I still had hope. But when I saw the papers, I just...everything...all my hope was torn apart right in front of my eyes." Maddy broke down again. This time, without Alex doing anything, Maddy cried into her arms. With that, Alex hugged her sister back, and cried with her.

The two sisters cried in each other's arms for a few minutes. When they started to calm down and Alex opened her eyes, she was herself again. Her Mandala was just...gone. She got up suddenly. 

"What's wrong sis?" Maddy asked, sniffing.

Alex ran to the bathroom, without answering. She threw up in the toilet. Maddy ran after her. She saw that the door was open and knocked on the door gently.

"Sis, are you okay? What's wrong?" She heard Alex throwing up in the toilet and decided to wait outside for her to give her some privacy. After a few minutes, Maddy heard the toilet flush and the faucet turn on. Inside, Alex washed her face and turned the water off. Her eyes were still teary in the mirror. She wondered what had happened. She took out a paper towel and wiped her face and mouth. She had noticed that her vomit was a bit bloody but she decided not to give it too much thought. With that, she opened the door. 

"Sis, what happened? Are you okay? What happened?" Alex didn't respond. She went over to the pool side to take her towel. She wrapped herself in her towel for a bit and shivered into it. Maddy was still asking her something. Alex couldn't hear her. She could tell Maddy was saying something but her body was cold as ice. She looked towards her sister and then everything went black.
---------

An hour and forty five minutes later, Alex opened her eyes in the hospital. Her parents were sitting by her bed, worried. 

"Do you remember what happened?" A man asked and Alex turned toward the voice, to see a man with a white gown look down at him, who could only be the doctor. 

Alex responded: "yes." She was feeling faint and tried to get up. The doctor put his hand on her shoulder to stop her. "You still need to rest," the doctor implored.

Alex looked towards her parents. Maddy took her hand. "We were so worried about you," and smiled at her.

Alex faintly smiled back. 

"I need to speak with Alex alone for a bit. Can you please step out for a few minutes?" The doctor asked everyone. Her parents complied along with Maddy who finally released Alex's hand and walked out with her parents.

When they closed the door, the doctor turned to Alex: 

"It looks like you've used up your Mandala."

Alex was surprised to hear the doctor say that. She turned to him, shocked. 

"I'm your doctor; in terms of emergency, it is mandatory to talk about it." the doctor responded to Alex's shocked face. Alex nodded in response, to let the doctor continue.

"I checked your records and it seems like you have been using up your Mandala limits. The body can't handle the Mandala intrusion for so long. We've had a lot of cases like yours exactly the past few months. Patients went hours and sometimes even days with their Mandalas without switching for more than an hour awake time."

Alex replied, faintly: "But what's wrong with that? I mean...what could happen? Why is that a problem?"

The doctor grimaced and responded: "It could be deadly Alex. We had a patient just a month back, who went one straight month with his Mandala without switching over once and had a brain aneurysm while asleep, causing a stroke that immediately killed him in his sleep. Now, I didn't want to speak about this in front of your family due to patient confidentiality. In any case, I am going to have to prescribe you to stay away from your Mandala for at least a month. And when you do start to even contact your Mandala, you have to make sure you do it once a week and then slowly if you want to switch over to your Mandala, start small. Just make sure you are only in your Mandala for an hour maximum or if you are in your Mandala for longer, you have to make sure you are away from it for twice that long."

Alex was shocked to hear this. "But doctor. You don't understand. I can't deal with my parents. I just...they're visiting this entire week. You've got to give me something....maybe some pills? Something that really works!"

"Alex, I can't just prescribe you pills. You have to see your own regular physician first and get recommended to a psychotherapist and..."

Alex raised her voice this time: "Bullshit! What the hell is a Mandala good for? If I can't use it exactly in this time that I need it so much? What the fuck?" 

Her parents suddenly were back in the room, asking what's wrong?? Alex stayed quiet. She did not want her parents to find her out. The doctor responded this time: "It's nothing. It was a minor dehydration. I was just recommending Alex to take a few days off from work."

Alex nodded in unison and turned to her parents: "That's right. We were just arguing about another matter...political if you will! Anyway, thanks so much for bringing me here guys. I think I'm ready to go." Alex tried to get up again, this time the doctor didn't try to stop her, but she fell back on her own, and she started to have a nose bleed. She tried to wipe her nose but Maddy rushed to give her a tissue, noticing the blood. 

"I think it would beneficial for you to stay the night here. It seems like it was a mild state but it's still best for you to take time to heal." He turned to her parents when he said that. "I'm going to get the nurse here to clean that up for you." He said to Alex. 

And with that, he walked out. Marilyn and Maximus followed the doctor out to ask more about the after-care, probably. Maddy stayed with Alex. 

Moonrails....!

"Hey, sweetie. your mom and I are pretty hungry. I think we should get started on that barbecue!"

Alex looked up from the paper and smiled. "Sure dad. Everything is ready for you guys. Did you rest well?"

"Yeah I think I did nap a bit. So what happened to that guy? Is he joining us or what?"

Alex smiled sadly at his dad and said: "No it doesn't look like he's going to make it. He said to go on without him. Maybe next time you guys come." And with that she folded up the paper and calmly passed her dad to the kitchen.

Maximus frowned a bit but decided not to overthink it. If anything, he was glad. He was really looking forward to spending this time for the family to get together, especially the two sisters. It's time they work things out between each other. Maddy didn't let it show but it was obvious she felt very lonely, especially after that bastard threw her out. Alex can be a great comfort for her. Maximus was in his own head, thinking about the possibility for this family reunion to become a true family reunion and walked back in with these thoughts. 
------

Moonrails 

Matt spoke loudly and clearly to the speaker. And just like that, the door to the building opened and Matt drove in with his Jaguar 4000, making the engine sound, dramatizing the entire effect. He had been given the car at the airport by the company representatives. Matt was so excited by the sight that he didn't even rush to get the code to his new home. He wanted to get into that car and start driving off already. 

"You will follow this address, which is already set in the system of the car. When you reach the building, drive up to the gate and say the code, loudly and clearly." The man had a thick Arabic accent when he spoke. He was wearing a long black coat and dark shades. 

Matt nodded quickly, compliant as ever, and waited for the car keys.

The man reached into his pocket and took a package out and gave it to Matt. "This package has the password in it. It is touch sensitive, which only reacts to your DNA. Good luck." And with that, the heavy accented man turned to walk away.

"No--but wait. How do I drive this car? I think you forgot the keys? Is it already in or...?" Matt looked inside briefly to look for the keys but it looked like it was off and no sign of the keys. 

"You will not need keys for this car. This car has already been programmed to only respond to your touch and voice." When Matt still looked confused, the man showed him and taught him to say his name first to the car, and the car automatically opened its doors. Matt got in and the man explained that there was no need for keys because his voice acted as the keys to the car. Matt sat down in the car and said, in a commanding voice, drive and the car started and started following the directions to his destination. Matt sat back, took out the champagne that was made available for him and started drinking from the bottle. 

When Matt's car parked itself in the driveway, Matt got out to peer at the building in front of him. It was magnificent. It must've been at least 10 stories high. That's not nearly as tall as most buildings but all of this belonged to him. He walked up to the front door and opened the door casually as the apartment, was DNA-specific as was the car. He ran in like a little boy to explore. He spotted a scooter that he assumed was a way to get around the building easily. 

The building wasn't like traditional buildings at all. In fact, it seemed like it was 10 stories high but it was actually 7 floors. There were two elevators on each side of the building. Other than the main front door, everything else were glass windows. The first two floors were just what looked like garages. On the third floor, the elevator door opened to the gym area with full equipment of cardio and weight training machines, studio with bars all around and yoga mats, a basketball net and many other sports equipments. There were also a spa sauna and showers/bath area. The fourth floor opened to a beautiful flat that included the kitchen area, bathrooms, and lounging areas. The fifth floor opened to the office area with a long conference table, desks, computers, etc. The sixth floor opened to what looked like another lounge/party area, with a full bar on the side. The seventh floor was the bedroom. The view was amazing as it overlooked the great Dubai area. Matt noticed that there was also another button in the elevator that led to the rooftop. He pushed it and was pleasantly surprised to see that it led to the most awesome area of all, the pool. Matt wondered how he would ever be able to use this pool in this cold. "It's too damn cold." Suddenly, without warning, from all around the area, doors started coming down, glass doors to be exact and heat was dispensed and the area was suddenly hot, closed to the cold but it seemed impossible because the glass that surrounded the area was so thin that it seemed like it wasn't even there.

With that, Matt smiled, took off his clothes and jumped into the pool.
--------

"Hi babe. I'm so sorry it took me so long to call you. You would not believe what I've been through all this time. And the worst part is, I missed you. I really really missed you. Please forgive me. Can you forgive me?"

Matt had already taken a warm shower after the amazing swim he had and was sitting in the lounge area and having a glass of the highest quality scotch. He also switched to his Mandala before he made the call. 

"Hi sweetie. I know. It's okay. You don't have to worry about me. I think I'm going to be okay this weekend." Alex was still letting her Mandala in control of her. 

The day had planned out very well organized, as Alex had hoped. She laughed to the jokes that her dad had said, helped out with the barbecue and even talked to her sister for hours. She almost wanted to come back and she even did for a few minutes only to be overcome by emotion again and let her Mandala back in. Every time she saw her sister looking her way, that guilt just crept back in. Thankfully, no one was suspicious of her being on her Mandala though. It was already past midnight when Matt had finally called her. She had just returned to her body when she got the called but knew that if she answered on her own behalf, she wouldn't be able be the calm person that he needs now. So she had switched back right away. 

Matt wasn't surprised to hear Alex's calm voice. If anything, that's how Mandalas work. They understand each other. They may have that magic effect on regular human beings, but to each other, they area logical and they understand each other. "I'm so glad you are feeling good my dear. How are your parents doing? Did you guys have a good barbecue?"

And with that, the pair had a calm and peaceful conversation until they finally said goodbye to each other and Matt turned off his phone. He called back to his Mandala and opened his eyes to be himself. He then called the special hotline that was made available for him to order in. Except that this was a different kind of delivery. Along with his dinner, he was able to order in a woman strictly for his own pleasures. Thirty minutes later, and Asian arrived with freshly home-made Ramen soup. She delivered the soup in the exact attire he had requested and as soon as she arrived, she put the soup down on the table and bended and waited, expectantly...
-------

Alex opened the door after it rang several times. It was Fred. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, those same boxers that he had worn that night.

"Fred, what are you doing here? Are you crazy? My parents...Maddy is here!"

Fred just smiled and moved towards Alex, who stepped back. She tried to cover herself with her scarf only to notice that she, too, wasn't wearing anything. She looked at Fred who was hungrily smiling and checking out her body. She quickly tried to cover her body and looked for an escape. 

Fred stopped and said: "You want this as much as I do." And then he pushed himself on her.

Alex woke up with a start. She was only dreaming. It was only a dream. But damn, it seemed so real. She looked over to her side. Maddy was still asleep. She got up and went to the master bathroom.....
-------

I'm trying to write more this week. I'm pushing myself to add to the writing time for myself. I mentioned this in my last post--that I'm trying to write 90 minutes a day, instead of 60. I have to say, especially after being out of the habit for 3 days, today it was particularly difficult to get myself to write for even an hour let alone an hour and a half. I finally managed an hour and fifteen minutes. I know I'm probably just making excuses but I'm in my campus library and it is just freezing. I think it is in improvement though and tomorrow, I will push to get to the full 90 minute mark. Also, my goal is to try to give an ending to this story by the end of this week, on Saturday, Nov. 5th!