As my fellow readers, you may already know that I have grown up in a conservative household. I grew up believing that the rules are clear: be a good Moslem and you will go to heaven and be considered a good daughter and part of the "Salamat" household. However, when we moved to the United States when I was only 10 years old, I started to acculturate to the American lifestyle and started forming beliefs that were not exactly aligned with the Islamic ways. This was not looked upon kindly by my parents and whether it was the "American culture" or just my teenage boy-obsessed hormones, I was always rebelling against my parents' ways.
When they told me crushing on boys is considered "haram" or sin, I went out with guys and flirted with them. When they said spending time or talking with boys is haram, I met one particular one that I really liked and we became an item. When they said you are too young and what you feel is just lust, I vowed my love to my boyfriend and we wrote our love story despite both our parents' protests. My friends who know me well can attest to this that I really did try to be the "good daughter" and listen to my parents and be a good Moslem. However, I was a teenager! And in love! No matter how much I tried to follow in my parents' footsteps, I always found my way back to being who I wanted to be and true to myself and my heart.
This struggle didn't end with high school or the ending of my relationship at the time, I was constantly lost between my own beliefs and my parents'. It was only after my parents finally realized that they cannot change me and let me go, that I started to find my way. I am still in the process of realizing my spiritual and Moslem identity. However, now, living far away from my parents, in my own home with my husband (who always lets me be my full self without question, God bless him) I am able to explore freely and learn more about my religion and what I want to practice and not practice. This freedom has only brought me closer to God and I am certain that I want to live a life that brings me closer and closer to Him. This agrees with my soul and it brings me much happiness. Realizing all my true potentials by undergoing personal development and discipline is just the beginning for me in this spiritual path.
When they told me crushing on boys is considered "haram" or sin, I went out with guys and flirted with them. When they said spending time or talking with boys is haram, I met one particular one that I really liked and we became an item. When they said you are too young and what you feel is just lust, I vowed my love to my boyfriend and we wrote our love story despite both our parents' protests. My friends who know me well can attest to this that I really did try to be the "good daughter" and listen to my parents and be a good Moslem. However, I was a teenager! And in love! No matter how much I tried to follow in my parents' footsteps, I always found my way back to being who I wanted to be and true to myself and my heart.
This struggle didn't end with high school or the ending of my relationship at the time, I was constantly lost between my own beliefs and my parents'. It was only after my parents finally realized that they cannot change me and let me go, that I started to find my way. I am still in the process of realizing my spiritual and Moslem identity. However, now, living far away from my parents, in my own home with my husband (who always lets me be my full self without question, God bless him) I am able to explore freely and learn more about my religion and what I want to practice and not practice. This freedom has only brought me closer to God and I am certain that I want to live a life that brings me closer and closer to Him. This agrees with my soul and it brings me much happiness. Realizing all my true potentials by undergoing personal development and discipline is just the beginning for me in this spiritual path.
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